Day 757 All Memory, All Knowledge, All Imagination, All Intellectualism Gone

I have been having an issue where its like my memory is gone. I don't see myself being sick/ill. This feels more like a Lose of Self. So, in this Video: Revenge of the Ego by Bernard Poolman, I remember him saying that at times we will find ourselves losing Faith in ourselves. And this describes what I feel, so I decided to listen to the recording today.

So the recording is fairly long and it covers a fair amount of dimensions/topics. The point that stuck out to me was how the mind is vastly superior with its access to the Knowledge, Intellectualism, such as facts, or memory - or Memory. It has access to all of that information, and everything I have every done in the past, and everything I ever felt/thought and all of my reactions to everything ever. So it knows all of this. And I don't have that same level of access.

But, Bernard said the one point that the mind fails is in with Breath- this will disrupt the mind- in Breath the mind cannot do anything. So if I try to Think my way out of my current situation/problem, if I try to find some Fact, or some realization, or some piece of knowledge, or understanding as information: I will fail because the mind is superior to using this information and thought: it will find a way to twist the words and the knowledge/facts for its Favor. But if I use breath and I make the statement/commitment of disowning my memory, I disown knowledge/intellectualism- and I decide to become a being of breath- and then I do it now in real time- I exist in breath- And I don't care and I am not affect by my memory or my memory loss or my thoughts- If I do this- the mind cannot touch me. I am free.

I know who I am and I am doing what is best for all and I will do it within Breath- without the knowledge/memory/past/information justifying it or using it as a support for what is best for all. I trust that the Words and the living word will be here naturally as myself as I live within and as Breath. I don't rely on the right words, the right knowledge, the right sentence, the right way of thinking or expressing. I rely on breath and I live as who I am: I am what is best for all: and this is all I live and all I apply: I live here real time as the living word.

The mind cannot touch me as I live within Breath.

I find I am free- and I can see how I was using knowledge and failing/falling. I can see how I would react within the knowledge/realizations/statements- how I tried existing within that point and somehow the mind will twist things and get the upper hand. And the reason why is as Bernard said: it is superior, the mind has all the access to the knowledge, to my memory to my past, so it knows what it needs to do, what to bring out, what to say or make happen to get you to react and bring you to your knees so that you give up. But in breath I have the upper hand, I have the directive principle- and this makes sense and all that is needed. Life is NOT knowledge; life is living HERE in real time, as application within breath.

So this is my application and I am finding it effective- I felt the drop of the pressure from trying to solve my memory problem- I embrace living in real time- I am a real time being- and I speak/do what is best for all- and I know that I will always know what is best for all in ANY moment I am in. So that's what I am applying/living. Breath.