Day 764 Screaming Bloody Murder

So in this blog I am going to be speaking about a Signature of an Expression. For most normal people they won't understand what I EXACTLY will be describing here. So it is something that requires a certain kind of experience with self-forgiveness, with expressions, and understanding how your sound, presence, living words and self-expression INTERACT with yourself, your energies, your reactions etc...

The Signature of Expression is this: Screaming Bloody Murder. Let me try describing what I am referring to. So, there is this part of my mind/reactions that I haven't been able to resolve for a while. And I had a moment where I was pushing for my stance/stand of what is best for all and in not allowing these reactions within me. And it reached a point where I accessed this signature of what would be Screaming but at the highest level of "Hatred" or just general loudness. I said WOULD be screaming because I didn't actually scream outloud, but I accessed that Signature SILENTLY, and INSIDE MYSELF I stood as that point of STOP IT!!!!  NO MORE!!!! And in so doing and accessing this signature of screaming bloody murder, the fears/reactions I had stopped and retreated as IF it got scared.

What I am describing is very abstract, and very story like. It may requires a bit of the stretch of the imagination to understand. It may be best to ground it. Let me share my HISTORY and PAST and this may help.

I understand myself to be someone who would NEVER SCREAM or yell or get angry at that level of like really getting into like this hatred sound. But I did see and witness VARIOUS different people throughout my life accessing and using that sound as a REACTION of course. Someone smashing a plate and Yelling stop at the VERY TOP of their lungs and it scared everyone in the room. Another person also accessing that SOUND in the same way of like LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

So does this make sense? Do you have your own reference from your own life now? It was something that I suppressed and when other people access that point, I was not able to match them or face them really.

This sound, is a sound that would be a very deadly yelling/screaming. It would have a practical purpose in some situations, someone who is following you and threatening you, you can speak/yell in this sound loudly and it will support you and can definitely affect the other person and keep you safe. The sound of it is saying: man this person is SERIOUS, I better watch out.

There is a quality of seriousness in the sound and intensity. Almost like a Promise. So there is that element of standing. So for me I accessed that signature and I see it as reconciling this part of me, and removing my suppression of this part. And truly understanding and willing to use this SOUND.

RECAP
So a recap on Self-Expressions, they are something that we Direct, and are NOT reactions. So here I am directing the point of the Shouting, and I am not Angry, I am not vengeful, I am not energetic or react. And the act of doing it is an Act, it is an action, it is my voice. And the source of that is me Being, meaning that before the yelling starts, I am in my being moving and initiating and am accessing the resonance/signature of it.

And what I am using is my self-honesty and checking the physical response and application of it in the physical to see, test, and cross-reference it, as well as discussing it with others who are walking the process and understand process.

So my understanding is that I feared to go there, and I feared to use that sound, and become that sound. So I suppressed it. And when I did access that type of sound/stance, it was like me correcting the point, and I notice how my mind and myself responded to it.
And so similarly I feared hearing that sound or facing someone standing with that sound (as a reaction or expression).

I accessed that sound without actually yelling outloud, as a point of basically Standing in saying Stop to my mind/reactions/fear that I had. It just came about in this moment as I was trying to really stand in my application/movement.

So now, if someone were to access that sound, I won't react with inferiority and back down, because now I can stand equal to them, I too can access that sound, but I don't require accessing it to stand equal, I do embrace them, and where they are at. So I stand equal to them. And I stand equal to that sound/signature. And for most people they will be accessing it out of a reaction, so I stand there to assist and support them, as well as myself.