Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Day 749 Stepping out of Hell

I am standing up to my mind, and I am standing up to myself. I suppose it is something like Gandi because he advocated non-violence. So I am standing up to my mind in a non-violent way, and so also a non-aggressive way. I am not angry at my mind, I am not resisting it. I actually let it play out a little bit in my head, but within doing so I am clear in who I am, and what I am doing in the moment, and what I am directing. I am clear that the goal is to stop the energies and stop the thoughts/mind through Understanding and Self-forgiveness within Understanding my responsibility of how I created any specific mind system I am being faced with.

So I am committed to stop the feeling/emotions. I am committed to stopping the positive reactions and the negative reactions. I am committed to really release the mind systems and to do so within Understanding the How that I created the particular mind system I am faced with. Through understanding me, through understanding my mind and the story of it, through understanding the specific nature of how and why a particular stream of thoughts exists and particular personality system exists or specific reaction == I will change through and with that understanding. To this I am committed. No matter what may come up in my mind, no matter the content of it, no matter how dark it is, or what it is saying= it is not real. The mind isn't real. What is real is the physical. Physical touch is real. Physical pain is real. Physical reality in all its senses is real. But the mind and the thoughts are unreal, are not to be taken seriously.

There is no point to giving the mind any sense of realness or any sense of interaction that validates it. This includes reacting to the mind itself, this includes feeling worried about it or resisting it, fighting it. The mind isn't real, it isn't me. It is a reflection of me and its a system within me, but it isn't Me. I can change it through understanding Me, and my history and who I am. But the ultimate point isn't about changing the mind, its about changing ME.

In this way, the mind is like a teacher. One that challenges me to the nth degree! But yes, through overcoming the challenge, I learn my lesson. I become stronger and I take a step in the right direction- through aligning myself in each to oneness and equality and what is best for all in fact.

The mind has taken me to the brink of myself, to lose faith in myself, and give the mind ultimate authority. And so standing up from here, I'll be hella stronger. There may be even more challenges in store for me in the future- I won't pretend to know everything- but I can say at least that I stood up and I am standing up from within this point of myself, and in relation to this part of me. That is all any of us can ever do: TAKE responsibility for yourself and your mind and who you are. Do that and the world changes. But do that anyway, cause its your responsibility and your place of power in this world.

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