Day 916 The Suppressed Self

 Something I have is an effective ability to read others. What I notice is 2 categories of people. 1) obvious and 2) hidden. Being obvious is when a person is saying whats on their mind, and acting with whatever their mind tells them to do. 

Being hidden, is suppressing the mind, and instead showing another image to others. The mind will eventually spill out. And the degree or skill of suppression varies. Some are experts at it, usually out of necessity for work or daily life. Since every person is born an innocent child, for a person to develop a mind conscious system that is so disharmonious with the needs of everyday life, they must have gone through an abnormal and abusive living situation as a child. Picture bullying, being beaten up, raped as a child, or any other horrible, painful, treatment by others: adult, other children, teachers etc... 

The mind develops under these conditions. Naturally one such conditioning is anger or rage. Because to protect ones body or self, one uses anger and rage as an attempt for others to leave you alone, and of course a child you are physically weaker, so others can physically take advantage anyway. So it could even progress or 'resort' to violence. Interesting how the word resort is re-served for violence. Sort of like sorting the last possible mind configuration for a person, with the cate-gory being violence. So it makes sense, an attempt at punching or kicking away the aggressors.

So the mind starts out like a seed, and it grows and develops. Creating the personality of the person. Now in such abusive environments, a mind is develops that is disharmonious with how things work in most cases. At least in united states or Europe, in most schools and places (not all, since bad schools and places exist, you get the picture right?) violence and anger is not okay. And that is fine right, I mean commonsense. BUT NO ONE IN SOCIETY ANYWHERE KNOWS HOW TO HELP AN INDIVIDUAL TO CHANGE THEIR MIND PROGRAMMING, EXCEPT WITH DESTENI TOOLS. 

So the individuals then suppress their points, and develop something like a pseudo personality, something that they can present to others, but all the while their core or real programming continues, because lets face it, the mind is all about generating energy. It doesn't care about anything else, it doesn't care of the fate of the person. So its personality is still an extension. Nothing changes, its like building a building on top of the same foundation. Still the same. 

So when I meet someone, I can draw a blank about who they are. Meaning I don't get any info from them. And I can tell they are in a sense being very composed, very reserved, and not showing their hand. Yet still smiling and being courteous, yet it has a sense of being controlled. What their secret is I don't know. 

So its difficult when I finally do find out who they are and what they are going through. Because your real self is hidden away with all the pain. All the good stuff about you as a person is locked along with the suppressed parts. So it becomes tricky to help the person. Yet its so common that it is its own category of person. Abuse is so common in this reality. And each has no control over ones birth and child life, no one.

Anyway this blog is about a particular pattern of mine, and this so far has been for context. So when I see the lie, see the suppression, see the mask uncovered. I react. If the person had expressed the points before, then I would have handled it well. For example. A person inviting me to stay with them a while, them being courteous and friendly over the phone, no red flags, and the BAM complete opposite in person, trying to drive me out on purpose. Lets break down this example. In the context of what we are exploring here as abuse, a person wants to seem courteous and friendly, to be a good family member, to be welcoming, yet in reality, that is not how they feel or think. And when it becomes real, and not just words, they default to their mind programming: the abuse, the rudeness, the actively living out their true hearts desire: I don't want you here. In this context, it makes sense. And I feel guilty.

I feel guilty cause they continue to be a good standup guy to those around us. To people I know. Because they don't want to be bad. They want to fit in with society. They want to be liked. I mean that makes sense. So I feel guilty in knowing their secrets, and when I tell others what I experienced with them, they have a hard time believing me. Which makes sense since they have only seen the one side. And not only that, those who understand how suppression and abuse works, will and can believe me. But if you haven't been through abuse, if you have not met others and understand this kind of person, then you have no reason to suspect that others will hide their intents, their desires, their thoughts. To pretend. And this makes sense as well. 

So I feel bad when others don't believe me. And that makes sense. I feel bad in knowing others secrets, because I want to help them, yet honestly it seems super fucking difficult, cause change has to come from oneself first. And I am one of those who didn't grow up in abuse. So I believed everyone can just be themselves. When that is not so. So I took it personally when a person hid and presented something different to me, which makes sense. 

Secrets, suppression, hiding, does complicate things, but this is reality. This is the real world. This is a world that is the result of abuse of children. And if we can create a world where all children are supported completely, we can create a new world. It just takes one generation, in theory. And it takes a system to give and provide that support. It takes each and everyone one of us to figure out what that would be, and by firstly fixing ourselves so that we are strong enough to make such changes and have the experience and knowledge to apply the changes needed. 

This ability to read others is a responsibility, it is a burden of responsibility. One that I can run away from or embrace. And the persons of this world is a challenge, are tough. It is complicated and difficult sometimes, but also sometimes easy, and simple. So as a rule of thumb, if someone is presenting who they are one way in words, and then in reality behaves differently, in a quite disturbing and aggressive way, they have gone through abuse as a child. And no it won't make sense, and yes you will be surprised, just know they were suppressing it for a reason, and they can't help it. And they will try to be good again. But also know that that isn't the solution for real change. Those serious about change will make it with the Desteni tools. Since it targets the structure of the mind consciousness system. 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally when others present themselves a certain way, when their actual feelings and desires are the opposite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty in knowing the truth of others, since such persons are hiding it from everyone else so if I tell others what I went through, I may not be believed, so finding support feels difficult. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty in saying/exposing the secret mind of others, since it feels like name calling, since that is not what they are some of the time acting or behaving to be. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel afraid of a person's secret mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear a person's abusive past, a person's trauma, a persons anger or rage.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being able to tell others about the trauma another is going through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear coming face to face with another person, than the one I was getting to know or believing I was getting to know.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel betrayed when a person's suppressed self comes out. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judge for exposing this part of ourselves as humanity. 

We should live openly. This trauma can be opened up and faced. Will it be painful and scary yes. Will it lead to you changing and being free of that burden of hiding, yes. Will you be free of anger and rage, yes. 1+1=2. The natural outcome of sorting out ones trauma is happiness, is peace, is freedom. Commit to it, and in time, it will be done. Thy will be done.