Day 926 The Four Letter word Part 2

 I had the expectation from Life, from just existence itself, that I would get in the future, my partner. And I expected this because I desired love. And like a child throwing a tantrum, I withdrew from life when I didn't get the love I desired. Where my motivation for a career as a statistician was the money that I believed I needed to attain love. Because I saw myself having my career and money, and thus being able to attract someone cause of it. I have no doubt that its possible because of the nature of man, everyone wants love, and money is a good bonus. 

Within withdrawing from life, from trying, I have found myself without motivation. Within believing no way can I get love from another. For this outcome I am grateful. For it would have been far worse if I had gotten the love I desired. 

Its amazing how much love rules us all. The desirability of love. And how we choose love over life any day of the week. 

I know real integrity would choose life over love. I know that all of the ones who know, who have the position that grants them perspective. All the beings who have tried to make it, the masters who tried to master it, the ones who fought for a better life for us all... I know that they are seeing this and are hoping/waiting for us to get it. To overcome love. To choose life. 

So much has happened. So many people have died and lost their chance. None of us has a real chance until we can get help on this. Its so important. Its the gateway to what comes after: Life. 

When I look at reality I can see how we feel love when we are the winner of the game, due to the attention people give us. How simply attention became a point of love, which is why we act out to get attention. How jealousy stems from the desire for love someone else has. How despise/hate comes from being rejected of love. The list goes on. And how when this secret is exposed, the messenger will be attacked ferociously. 

How blame, ridicule, and the attempt at embarrassing/shaming another, works because that target fears losing out on love. And that is why one my dreams and so for others, was to have one person that will always love you and then you feel invincible. Insane isn't it?

All of this is so obvious. And we can totally tell when someone is seeking love from us. Our personalities are built around the approach for love. To be a funny guy= to get love. To be confident to get love. To be cautious, shy= to get love without too much rejection. Becoming wealthy to get love. To become healthy, fit to get love. and more. To wear makeup for love. To be educated for love. To be a winner. To be a certain political person. To try out for different teams. To succeed. Everyone is doing it all the frickin time. To divorce to look for love. To have kids to look for love. To sleep around to look for love. It never ends. To have pets. Everything we consume, the books, tv shows, movies. The complete self-interest and devotion to love. God is experiences as love, the religion, the churches. Nature is made into love. Our jobs made into love. Just make believe

Its everyone. 

Obviously porn, sex is about love. Drugs, addictions, smoking, food. 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to need love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to choose love over everything

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad and complain about not having love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to search for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to find love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to stumble upon love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be given love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to scheme for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate others for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to control others for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to change myself and do whatever is possible to get love.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to harm others in order to get love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to study and get good grades for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make money for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to succeed at life for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to choose my career for love

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in my career

I forgive myself for accepting and alloiwn gmyself to look for love in my daily life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in imaginations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in my memories

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in a bath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in the spirits

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in nature

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in winning a game 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in porn

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in Family

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for love in my purpose/future, so that what I choose to do will give me the most love.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a personality that will find me love. The service warrior, intelligent, helpful, kind, giving, doing the right thing, a good guy. Good with kids. 

It as always been about love.

Love has been a fundamental way of relating to everything in my reality. Food. The people. My parents. My friends. My time. Nature. Entertainment. Imagination. Games. School. Grades. Money. Careers. Woman. Relationships. Sex. Porn. Family. Children. In my purpose/future. In my personality. 

The only reason why we want to be liked is for love. 

All the people, all of their personalities, everything they do is for love. 

To be continued