Thursday, January 30, 2020

Day 797 - Giving up all Hope and then Placing Self-Trust Here

What I am in the process of doing is Giving up all Hope and then Placing Self-Trust Here.

Specifically I am giving up the hope that anyone or everyone will make it in their process, will actually learn, grow or change. Even more specifically its the hope for real connections with people, since a real connection would require that person be real (me too of course), where there is that depth. I am giving up all hope that anyone will be real.

And what I am doing is placing my self-trust here in me, in what I can do, create, and move in this physical reality.

And what I am also doing is that I am going to do all of this Life Creation, and Self-Creation, and World System Creation in the Name of all of those who I basically loved or hoped for to make it, which is everyone really. So I do all of this in the Name of Everyone, in the Name of everyone's potential, even if in reality no one makes it, and all will Fall. Because me doing it, me Living it, Me being the Creation, being the Utmost, being what is needed, Speaking in the Name of Life, and for Life, committed = all of that I do it for everyone, including me.

So I give up the hope, the hope for anything for me, the hope of it being easier, the hope of it being less lonely, and I place my trust in creation, in physical action, in what I can do:

which is what I am doing now: blogging. Which is my participation and words everywhere: online and offline. Which is my placement in the world system. Which is my purity, and integrity in every moment= no matter who is looking, no matter who is witnessing, no matter if I am alone.

I can do all of that above. And within that I can have self-trust.

Understand that Hope was holding me back. Hoping that someone will change, that someone will make it, that someone will act/do, even with me as that target of hoping for me to do/act/change.

The only thing that matters is the Physical movement and who I am. That is what its Self-trust. And in the physical you can always place your trust. The physical is the one trustworthy thing, until the day that someone can live up to that trust and so be reliable/dependable/god-like.

And I have a comfort in saying that I am doing this for everyone. That includes people who were angry, or reactive, or trying to pull me down. Because I know that's not really who you are. And so I do this for you too. I do this for everyone, literally. And within that I do have peace.

May we meet again. 

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