Day 790 Masturbation without Mind

I am afraid of disrupting things.

I am afraid of standing out.

I was masturbating the other day within using my body and physical expression, and so without using my mind. Not thinking about women, not thinking about any images. Just purely physical expression.

And I have a fear. I have a fear within being independent of stimulation of women, and their images. I have a fear that if I were to ever have a relationship with a women, and I tell her how I am committed to not be stimulated by her as an image or her as an idea. That with sex it would be a pure physical expression where I am responsible for my own orgasm within that, and that so is she. Where it is an act of self-expression and not a stimulation of the mind through triggers and reactions.

I have that fear. Because I fear standing out, being different, and not being accepted by others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being a different human being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear disrupting things through me existing as a different kind of person

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being able to have a relationship with a woman who is of the system way of thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being alone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being the only human being who is becoming independent of the mind when it comes to sex

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear talking about this topic of masturbating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear posting this.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being the only person who talks about masturbating without the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing alone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear repercussions in my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being punished

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people going after me.

I realize that fear is unacceptable and that living with openness is how we effect change in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being alone in this world as the only person/voice speaking about masturbating without the mind, without images, without porn, and so literally creating a New Human Being, that is different in his Actions, Behaviors, and how He/She functions with the Body and how They exist in Reality and relate to people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being the First Person who Does this, to be a Pioneer, and to be Vocal and Supportive, and to be an Example, and to be Visible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to fear being called a Freak.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being challenged on masturbation without the Mind.