Are you someone trustworthy? Could people trust you do what is best for all, in all situations, forever? Or will you betray people's trust for yourself as an individual separate from the whole?

Becoming someone trustworthy, reliable will be a process. There is no magic here. There is just effort, hardwork, determination, and commitment. Eventually any man can change their own fate with enough time. But time does run out. We do all die.

This world is all of ours, it is our responsibility. Not to do with what we please, but to nurture and care for. Just as we use the earth for nourishing and caring for our bodies, and us as one people. Life never dies, but our opportunity as individuals to get access to Life can die, we can miss out on it.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Day 38 Lying takes effort/practice

I observed today that lying takes effort. I was lying today as part of what is required/expected in the system, which meant presenting myself in a desirable way in the eyes of the system. The little bit of lying I did was exhausting. I then observed and realized how pretty much 99% of the time, in the vast majority of everyday life in the system we are lying, and that we have practiced lying and that it takes effort, and that we end up tired and drained because of all the lying.

I saw I was tired from what little lying I did. After time and practice I could get better at it, and less tired, but still I don't want to lie.

Can you see where lying occurs daily? A pop psychology article pointed out how we lie throughout the day, where most people cannot spend like 5 minutes without speaking a lie, on average. So can you think of some examples of lying?

How about when someone ask how you are doing? Do you tell the truth or do you lie? Do you just say, Im good, Im okay etc... Is that the truth?

Or how about in fashion magazines? Or fashion in general? Or modeling? Or posing for photographs? It takes effort to put on that face. It takes effort to smile that way, no? I mean if you look at the first photographs of people, no one would smile because they were being natural, themselves. I mean, sure, on occasion you may actually capture someone smiling for some real reason in their environment, then yes that is a real smile. But are all the people who now smile when having their photograph taking really happy? really smiling? Or are they smiling for the picture?

Or how about in pretty much all jobs or work, where you work with clients/customers, or coworkers. You put on a face. You put on a mask. You put on a smile. This takes effort, sustained effort. This is not how you would naturally be. How would it be like to be yourself, without effort? Is that possible?

Some people in some work, don't put on as much of a mask, maybe they don't need to, it is not called for. Yet see for yourself what you can see within you.

Looking at the process of living words, I expect Living words to be integrated where there is no effort, where it is not like lying. Like the difference between an actor who acts, which takes effort and is a lie, versus someone living and sharing something that is a part of who they are.

I don't really know. I do know that I suck at lying. I can hardly lie. I remember Bernard speaking about how parents train their kids to lie in the system, to be able to deceive. I remember how Bernard said people in universities are there because they couldn't get a job in the System. And I know for a fact I am good at taking data, analyzing it and comparing to reality, and describing the results in real terms. I know I am good at looking at the physical reality, and physical truth. I know I am a scientist at heart and a truth seeker. I know I am more unbiased than most people I know. I know I suck at lying.

I was trained to lie. But I committed myself never to do that kind of lie again. This lie I speak of is the lie of positivity. I could have been rich. I could have written a book. But I won't. Because someone needs to change. And so I made that stand.

So I will practice the minor lying of a workplace  environment. Because I may need that to survive. And I will see if I can get a job in a Honest working environment, which means science and numbers. Because the greatest gift I can offer in a work view point is my brain. So I can work to analyze data and run advanced analysis for teams of scientists/researchers. That shit is easy for me. I have been asking the question, what CAN i give to the world, instead of what I WANT to give. Because I need to be practical. There is a lot I want to happen, but what can I do, NOW. What am I able to do NOW. What have I been training to do across my entire life. What are my skills. And frankly, my difficulty to lie actually allows me to see the truth better. I can see numbers for what they are. I can see the truth of humanity. I can see what we need to be and become.

If you grew up to be a master liar, you need to assess for yourself. Whether to commit to never do that again, or to use it for support change. Because for me, my honesty was never to use my skill to lie with positivity ever again. And I won't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did. That is my honesty. Now, maybe you have to make the same choice. I am now trying to learn how to lie in a system point of view in terms of what is expected, in order to survive. So maybe you have to do it to survive. Or maybe you can find a way to not have to depend on lying for survival. I don't know. Maybe you can find a work that suits your talents or skills that don't relate to lying so much, or not at all.

I also observe that we as humanity forget we are lying and we take the lie as the truth. So that is really dangerous as well. So its not really about lying is BAD. No. its about what is the truth. Because the truth is real, it is physical. Its the difference between illusion and reality. Its the significance of really holding water or not holding anything. That is what is at stake. I understand that it is difficult to grasp if you are deep within lying, because you believe that lying is just as real as the truth. But its not. The truth is 1000% more. I don't ask you to believe me, but I do ask that you see for yourself if what I say is true.

So at the very least, if you have to lie for survival, KNOW and REMEMBER it is a lie, and not the truth, and KNOW and REMEMBER what the truth actually is. Because if you forget that, if you start believing and get wrapped up in the LIE, if you allow yourself to become succumb to the fantasies, the feelings, the emotions, the imaginations, the definitions, that are all LIES, then you get lost. So do your best for your sake. Lie, but know what the truth is, and don't LIE if you don't have to. Only Lie if you need to. Once your survival is taken care of, then don't lie ever again.

You might even be faced with the choice of lying and your survival, where the right choice is actually to not lie, have integrity, at the risk of not surviving. That can also be a choice you might be faced with, where you will risk everything and even lose everything, yet still have integrity. I can't say when such a moment will be, but it does exist. Ultimately it all depends on you. It depends on your awareness, on your relationship with yourself, on your ability to know yourself, self-forgive, be self-honest, live responsibility, and share yourself with others.

The more you TEACH others the more you learn. So the more you share yourself, the more you learn about yourself. We each become a teacher the moment we share or speak. So that is why blogging is so important. It is a space where I can speak without lies, and so speak naturally, easily, freely, and I get to know myself. It is a pure space. And as I teach you, through sharing me, I learn more about me. It's a win win. If I had to do blogging anonymously because of workplace system, then I would, because its still me, its still my word, and it is still me sharing me, and learning more about me, while teaching others.

The truth sets you free. When you set yourself free to speak the truth, you will know yourself. The true you is not a lie, it is true. So blue.

But I my blogging doesn't affect my ability to work in system, then I will sure as hell be visible. Because this is me, this is true, and this is Great!!!

One day it will be not only be okay to speak the truth, but completely fucking normal to do so. That it becomes weird to lie, and strange to present yourself differently than who you are, or expressing what you are experiencing in yourself in the moment.

No comments:

Post a Comment