day 39 I Decide

I learned that I decide everything regarding to what I want, and what I do. This may seem stupidly obvious, but let me paint you a picture where you will most likely believe what you want is not a decision, that it is already just who you are. Let's start painting.

So, Imagine you are a child, or young person, or just any person, whichever best fits this example for you. Imagine that someone asks you what do you want? Pick the example that makes sense for you, but I found that its true in every example. What do you want to eat? What do you want to do? What to do you want to do in Life? What do you want for yourself in the future? Etc... Now...

Now... what is your first response? What is your answer? I bet you that you looked inside yourself to find the answer to the question. And that there was the answer. I have a question for you, where did that answer come from?

Let me try again. Is what you want simply a part of who you are? Is what you want just your personality, your likes and dislikes, your dreams? Does that make more sense?

Meaning, that what you want is already here, is already answered.

If its still not clear, let me try one more time. When you get a feeling and a certain choice feels right, that is how you decide what you want. No?

Because can you make a decision that doesn't feel right?

So look at this, what you want, if it is something you Look For within yourself, then its not a Decision. You did not decide what it is you wanted, you looked for the answer. Why is this important/special? Because your decision is something predetermined. Something ELSE is deciding, and you are just going along for the ride. You are not creating your life. You are not deciding.

When you look for the answer within yourself, that is not the same as looking at everything, and making a decision. You CAN make a decision that doesn't feel right. You are allowed to. You can make any decision, because you are the one deciding. But looking for the answer within yourself, is not applying the skill of decision-maker, instead you are becoming a follower.

So are you a leader or follower within yourself? Do you decide who you are?

This may seem stupid to you, because OF COURSE everything within you is YOU, and RIGHT and what you want. Yet, is it? I mean, how in the hell are these answers coming up within you? Where the heck did they come from? From space? From God? From what? Were you just like created at some point and that's all you have ever been and will be?

Can you or can you not decide who you are, and what you want regarding anything? Can you choose to like something? Can you choose to let go of disliking something? That may seem like crazy, but can you or can you not?

What if you never practicing decision-making, where you can really decide to be any kind of person, or want anything? Did you always just repeat the same words and mantra in your head about who you are?

And when you change, are you REALLY the one changing you? Or are you being changed? Do you change you? Or does something else change you?

Do you have the freedom to decide who you are, what you want? Or are you simply stuck in being who you are, having the wants you have, and just your entire personality and self, that that is all you are and will forever be?

The ability to choose, to decide...

I grew up believing that I had to look within myself for the answer.
I grew up thinking that Who I AM is already here, and I just have to see what I want in the moment, to look for the answers within me.
I thought that and believed that.
But that's not true. The truth is that I can decide to be or want ANYTHING. I literally can. That it is actually a lie to think that what I want is something I have to look for within me. The same applies with everything. From the career/job you pick. From friends you keep. From who you date. From what you do. From what you write. How you speak. What you wear. How you live. And what you think/believe. You can decide to be or do anything. Literally yes. There is NO ANSWER waiting for you within you that IS THE ANSWER. That is a lie we believe and say is true, but its not. What there is within us is our minds, which create thoughts and feelings, and simulate experiences, and record all the decisions we have made. So YES, you can totally look within your mind for an answer but your mind will only give you a thought and an experience based on what you have already done. Yet that is not truth. That is not YOU. That is not you deciding, that is you following.

So we can make this rule, the immediate answer within you is a lie. What you immediately think or feel is simply your mind create a simulated experience, but its not truth, its not a decision.  So never trust, believe or follow your immediate instinct, reaction, feeling or response. Instead always stop, look, assess and decide. Never follow, always decide, and never TRUST what you feel or your immediate first response, feeling, thought or reaction.

Otherwise, you will be a slave to a force that you do not understand, which will because you let it be that way, you just let it happen to yourself. Those are you two choices. And this is how all of humanity is existing currently. Our minds are quite sophisticated, yet still rudimentary. Meaning that it cannot go beyond its programming. Yet YOU CAN. If you decide not to follow, and you decide to create and make every decision ON YOUR OWN, then you can go far beyond the programming and limitations of your mind, your personality, your history, your preferences, yourself.

Imagine having no more enemies because you decide so. It's possible. It may seem crazy now, because you believe enemies must exist. But that is your mind again. There is so much more I can say, and none of it will make much sense, yet all of it is possible to become/decide and be. It will be so simple.

Desteni.org

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