Day 737 Considerations on Grander Perspectives and Being Practical in this world

This Blog is Almost like a Thought Experiment. It is Reflective, and you need to Read it all the way through because my Perspective Changes in real time. So make sure to read it all the way through, I end somewhere differently than where I started out in the beginning. 


There is me as Yogan as my story as an individual...

There is also me that is not Yogan, that takes on a grander perspective, grander vision, that includes many more perspectives at once, and strives for what is best for each perspective.

When I live in this way of living from multiple perspectives or many perspectives... I become something different, I see things differently, I respond to situations differently.

It is a point of greater understanding. Understanding more perspective on any given situation or moment.

It is a point of living outside of my previous conceptions of my self of who I am, of Yogan.

It is a point of just having a body and just relying on that fact that I am anchored here in reality, and every thing else as thoughts, beliefs, emotions, opinions, reactions, personality, rules of behavior, doesn't matter.

I have my body and that will always be true, and then I can just go out and look at all the perspectives of things, of each person, thing, of reality itself and see okay, what is best here/now in a given situation.

My "story" doesn't matter, my "identity" doesn't matter. When I leave to take on many perspectives and see things from many angles and many parts of reality, then whatever that doesn't come with me on that journey doesn't matter.

Something my buddy said was to Test things out, and to not trust it. For me this was radical. Because I do see I go into point of wanting to say already that this is trustworthy or not...

When it comes to what I wrote in this blog I do have this experience within me, I do change... 

Having a moment of change isn't new, like when I connect with a tree, I do have a change in experience of myself.

So instinctively I wanted to not TRUST this experience now with writing these words in this blog, because I don't want to risk it being of energy, which means of the mind and of deception. Maybe it is but I don't know it. So I am going to do the following: 14 days of testing it out and writing 14 blogs writing this way in this starting point. I want to see who I am within it, I want to see how I change. Will it be signs of energy? Is it something supportive like when I am here in my body breathing? or connecting with a tree?

I'm not sure. But I am willing to test it out and see who I am within it. Not to trust, but to test it.

So here I will continue the blog,

now I am feeling self-conscious and I am looking things within fear and within my limited perspective. To not look beyond what is immediately here. Beyond to the possibilities, beyond to the potential, beyond to the future, beyond to lands across the earth, the people and things, the struggles, the issues, the wars, the potential in people and situation.

I am feeling self-conscious, i am seeing things from my personality and limitation. I feel scared and worried that what I could be doing in seeing more than just me, seeing things from many perspectives and living as that in my choices as my direction in every moment.

Imagine if I were to enter into a moment where I am taking on the perspectives of the people around me, and taking on the perspectives of everything around me, the building itself, the dogs, the animals, the nature, the weather, the foods, the water, how much more would I be considering? how much more solution can I propose? How much more can I direct others through questions and suggestions? How much more capable would I be? I would see I indeed would become more capable and able in the moment to direct what is best for all when I take a grander perspective than just Me as Yogan as personality and story and as limitation.

Imagine me entering into a moment, into a life decision, into a commitment, and everyday life responsibility where I am living with this grander perspective and understanding, where within what I am doing, I am living it within understanding how I am part of a larger whole, and playing a part in creating something much bigger.

I feel uneasy and bit scared in living for something greater. I feel like I don't want to say that or do that. I feel scared and worried about living for something greater/more. 

The decisions I would make, the choices I would make, what I would say, how I would live, what I would do, what I would consider, that would be all different within living differently within grander perspectives of living for everyone/everything.

I notice I feel a doubt/fear within living for everyone/everything, where its a sense of dread, a sense of disappointment, and a belief that it's unrealistic and lofty and intangible and that I am not supported by others, by everyone, and I live in a cruel world. 

Yet still within my imagination and seeing what is possible, and the potential in each person, and how we could live, and how we could be, and how I could create such a world. To live for such a world, a life, a humanity, a reality. It feels unrealistic, hopeless, not sustainable, not realistic 

What it feels like is wanting to say I need to be realistic and live for me, and do right by me, and help everyone through me, then it will be trustworthy, then it will manifest as something real, then the truth will be known. What I can give as one individual, one human. I have limitations, I won't bring a new world by myself, but I can do my part and I can do my best within my part. So its not unrealistic lofty vision. I made a commitment to work in a specific career to make money that does make it as easy as possible on me, and yet still make good money and use that to support projects to be done in the world. 

So what I am feeling is like such a world is possible, the ideal world, but I cannot live for that world as my motivation/dream, I have to be practical. I have to see what I can do here/now and the effect I can have. Its not a point of giving up at all, but actually aligning with what I can practically do and achieve and working towards that goal. This gives me a sense of ease and understanding as well. 

So its about aligning my story, aligning my personality, aligning this self here that is one person and one perspective into something practical, into some goal, into a daily life/practice and in my case it means a career and making money. I am not giving up my grander perspectives, I am just refocusing and prioritizing my time. 

So you see this blog is a natural flow. I start with somewhere, i look at it, I consider it, I see what comes up, and I just roll with it, and I am honest with what was coming up within me. 

I still have access to all my knowledge and understanding and ways that I could see and speak things differently, its just not needed right now. 

Right now I am on a practical path, with a goal and vision that I am going to manifest no matter what. I am flexible within it. But my end goal is the same, to find a career that I can do well in, that is fairly easy for me, and I can make a lot of money. And use that money to support projects.