The most important thing that I can offer existence is to show that its possible to live and exist without thought, emotion and feeling. To show what its like to no longer feel insulted, intimidated, scared, worried, love, hope, sadness, excitement. To show what it is like to smile for real, laugh real, spontaneously in the moment, unplanned.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Day 698 Redefinition of Strength

So if you would have asked me, or if I would have asked myself, what Strength is Last Week....
I would have said/shown like standing up, being rigid, muscular, pushing, tough.

But that's not all there is to Strength, and the current definition is not appropriate in certain contexts.

So this is what I found, being gentle and embracing what is here, no matter who it is, what they are doing, what they said, what they lived, embrace and accept what is here, doing this.... doing this is the antithesis, the complete opposite to my average response of Strength.

In the age of Donald Trump, that definition of Strength of being so masculine, being tough, pushing things through, being rigid, being sharp is clearly shown to be what is is. And that is the natural response for me.

SO something that I have been doing unconsciously is breathing in sharply. In seemingly random moments. What I'm seeing here is this, that breathing sharply is me activating this strength, which plays out like a suppression. Suppressing what is here so I can do what I perceive I need to do.

I do this, while saying to myself, because I need to, because I have to. Because that is what is needed. I need to be strong.

So I can exist in this way, and  I have existed and I have achieved/accomplished things, BUT its not the best way. Its better than doing NOTHING at all, but there is a BETTER WAY. So this way is not the most appropriate and best way. Though I do understand that I lacked the understanding and that was the best I could do. And now I am ready to learn and apply.

So embracing and accepting what is here takes strength, or that is how it should be. So I define that as strength. And then moving slow within me and then outwardly moving as quick as what is needed.


So what is embracing and accepting practically done in the moment? I start by this moment here that I am. I am here. I check what here I am not accepting. And then I visualize that that is here in my reality, and I accept this is the reality right now. It can be a person, or a place, or a thing. But it is always the fact of the matter. I accept what is here and embrace it. And with that I move slower within myself

What is moving slower practically in the moment? I see the energy within me wanting to move quickly to resist and hate on what is here, and blame, so I slow it all down within me, until all that exist is here within me. Only I exist. I exist within me. Nothing else. So then I can move in reality and do and move.

What is moving in reality while moving slow within me?  Practically in the moment it is me being clear within me, and slow within me. There is no energy. I am slow within me. But that within slowness does not define slowness in physical movement. I am eternally here and clear within. So I just move. I can move and do in reality with the body. That's it. Nothing more or less.

What do I do when a backchat is here? I slow down within me and I look if I am embracing and accepting what is here, and yes the backchat ends.

This is Strength.

When there is something or someone difference, I embrace that fact that they are here. So I am clear within me. And I can assist them.

Before I would enter in essentially rage/aggression/hate easily. I would YELL in my written words. You can see when you yell even in writing words online. Or whether you want to yell in certain contexts or conversations. Applying what I wrote here will help you. That is what I'm doing and its working. Test it.

There is a difference between deciding to yell, and yelling automatically.

There is a difference between approaching a problem with already accepting the reality of the reality,  and approaching it with resistance, blame, anger, STRENGTH as defined by this context.

It takes real strength facing the reality of reality and work with that as your starting point. Which requires moving slow within you. Cause the system wants you to move quick within you to get the energy built up and expressed quickly as the strength defined by the system in the Age of Strong Men. FORCING, PUSHING, ENDING.

Real force, real pushing, would exist within this starting point of moving slow within self. I haven't gotten there yet. I am not there yet. But that is what I expect to be the case.

But first I have to release this old definition and habit of strength, as Ego, as I know, I am right, I am going to DO IT, I am going to change things NOW, and I am going to speak NOW. Feeling that RISE Of energy within me. The rise of ego. The quick ascension to the throne and taking control.

With moving slow its different. Within me, its like water of a still lake. It is already here. It is just clear within me, like clear water. And then I just move and speak within that slowness of my body which I trust. And what I do and move is easy.

Moving like this way is different. It takes some getting used to. It has that awkwardness and that panic of what if I can't move quickly any more? Which i can prove right away in the physical that I just move and do and can get things done fast. Its just within me it won't be moving in that quickness as before. So yes that definition of quick needs to change as my inner experience.

This is a different way of living and it takes some getting used to.

This is the new Strength I am living. And my breathing is evidence/cross-reference. Am I breathing sharply? If so then its me living the reaction as the old strength definition.



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