Day 716 I have been a deceptive and self-deceptive being
Creating a Relationship of LOVE..... in order to get the SEX.
Making a relationship with another human being on the premise of LOVE.... so that I can get to have Sex with them regularly.
Convincing them that I love them and want a long term relationship with them...... so that I can have sex with them as the Reason why.
The reason why I create a relationship with a person and tell its for Love, and that I love them.... is to make them agree to sex.
I speak loving words to a person, and make them feel like I love them, because I want to have that physical sex, because sex feels meaningful, and it gives my life meaning.
The truth of Sex is that it is meaningless entertainment. Sex has no meaning. Sex is meaningless. There is no meaning in sex. Sex is only temporary entertainment. Sex does not deepen a bond between person. Sex does not make one reach higher planes of consciousness. Sex does not make a relationship stronger or work. Sex does not bring two people together. Sex does not bring you closer to someone.
Using a Relationship based on Love, just so you can get what you really want is deceptive. Not being direct and say what you want is deceptive. Making Sex more than what it is, meaningless entertainment is self-deceptive. Making Sex give you some self-value is self-deceptive.
It would be honest and non-deceptive to ask someone if they would like to have sex with you, than to create an entire elaborate scheme of Love energy to massage a person into sex with you.
Some beings know this and they are villified for being direct about asking for sex.
At the same time sex is meaningless. So for beings that find meaning from sex, is also within self-deception.
Sex is meaningless entertainment. There are dangers to have sex with strangers= STDs.
Creating an entire marriage, and living together for 30 years just so you can have sex as entertainment regularly is self-deceptive as well as deceptive. Its a SAD thing. A video game is a cheaper cost.
Speaking loving words when the starting point is to get sex, is speaking only lying words. Its deception.
When a man can convince a woman into a relationship based on love when what he is actually out for is Sex, and that man feels no Remorse or Shame --- is someone truly lost and deserves to feel SHAME.
This describes me. I am sorry to the women I have spoken loving words to, because my starting point was to get sex. It was so much easier for me to lie and be deceptive, than be honest and direct. I am a coward. I wasted people's times and lives. I wasted my own as well. I lied constantly. No one deserves to be lied to, NO ONE. You all deserved better.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak loving words in order to get someone into sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie to so many people in order to get sex with them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be cowardly to not be direct with women and not lie.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take advantage of the trust of people
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my word
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my image and presentation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself as an Honorable and GOOD person, with Integrity
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself as an Honest Person when I was lying to women straight in their faces
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel no remorse, no regret, no punishment as I have never been caught lying
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy that I got away with Lying to all these women, with all of them so far still having no clue, and believing that I loved them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie to myself and hide the truth that I lied
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present a lie to myself and everyone else about who I am
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use relationship, life-partnership as an EXCUSE/PROXY to just get what I really want, regular sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find meaning in sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find meaningful in sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find self-value in sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find purpose in sex.
I still feel no remorse/shame for all the lying I did. I want to, I wish to. I deserve to. All I have is this slight smile. I guess cause I was never caught
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel no shame or remorse for having lied
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel no weight, no responsibility for having lied to all these woman, people, and myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy in getting away with lying this whole time with never being called out on it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy with never getting caught lying to all these women, in getting them to believed I loved them, when really all I wanted was sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie to myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a slight smile on my face with never being caught, and never being in trouble for lying to these people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy when people believe me, especially when I am lying
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy when speaking about my lie of Love
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find sex worth it, to find it worth lying for.
I commit myself to never use LOVE, LOVING WORDS, CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE OF LOVE TOWARDS A PERSON TO FEED INTO THEIR EGO AND LACK OF SELF WORTH SO I COULD GET THEM INTO A RELATIONSHIP AND SO I CAN HAVE SEX
I commit myself that if I just want to have sex that I ask it directly, taking consideration all the practical factors for my safety and well-being, but just yes ask directly, cause THAT is honesty
I commit myself that I don't use any form of a PROXY or roundabout entrapment to get someone to have sex with me
I commit myself that I keep separate SEX from Life Partnership. Meaning that I don't form a Life Partnership just to have SEX.
I commit myself to respect the Sanctity of forming a Life Partnership, and to not ABUSE it for sex.
I commit myself to not abuse sex by giving it more meaning than simply a meaningless entertainment.
I commit myself to not derive self-value and self-worth from sex.
I commit myself to derive self-value and self-worth from ME as Self and Living.
So agreeing with someone, Hey lets have sex? And they say yeah sure! That is honest. With no LYING beforehand, with no deceptive words, with no LYING LOVE before hand, or SETUP, or whatever shit. However, finding self-value in sex is self-deceptive. Sex is NOT meaningful.
Photo: Slight Smile
I said above: I still feel no remorse/shame for all the lying I did. I want to, I wish to. I deserve to. All I have is this slight smile. I guess cause I was never caught
I KNOW that in some moments I have a slight smile. I am going to say I slight smile when I am lying or got away with a lie. So that is my face with I lie. BUT my eyes, I can in my eyes the remorse and feeling sorry. I fon't feel it, but I can see it. So my lips are showing the point of when I lie.
I have been a deceptive and self-deceptive being.
And for those of you who may be idiots. I am NOT saying END ALL RELATIONSHIPS.
FUCK NO. I NEVER SAID THAT. I am saying RESPECT the Sanctity of Relationships. If you are agreeing to SPEND your life with someone and build a life, DON"T FUCKING DO IT, if all you want is SEX, or if that is a WAY for you to get SEX. DON"T DO IT. Its a lie. Go and have sex, that is more honest. Why is it easier to lie to each other than to be fucking honest. Don't LIE.
Many people are addicted to sex and find self-value from sex that is a PROBLEM too. Sex is meaningless, has no meaning or higher purpose to your life. Don't Live for Sex. Thats a lie to yourself.
Making a relationship with another human being on the premise of LOVE.... so that I can get to have Sex with them regularly.
Convincing them that I love them and want a long term relationship with them...... so that I can have sex with them as the Reason why.
The reason why I create a relationship with a person and tell its for Love, and that I love them.... is to make them agree to sex.
I speak loving words to a person, and make them feel like I love them, because I want to have that physical sex, because sex feels meaningful, and it gives my life meaning.
The truth of Sex is that it is meaningless entertainment. Sex has no meaning. Sex is meaningless. There is no meaning in sex. Sex is only temporary entertainment. Sex does not deepen a bond between person. Sex does not make one reach higher planes of consciousness. Sex does not make a relationship stronger or work. Sex does not bring two people together. Sex does not bring you closer to someone.
Using a Relationship based on Love, just so you can get what you really want is deceptive. Not being direct and say what you want is deceptive. Making Sex more than what it is, meaningless entertainment is self-deceptive. Making Sex give you some self-value is self-deceptive.
It would be honest and non-deceptive to ask someone if they would like to have sex with you, than to create an entire elaborate scheme of Love energy to massage a person into sex with you.
Some beings know this and they are villified for being direct about asking for sex.
At the same time sex is meaningless. So for beings that find meaning from sex, is also within self-deception.
Sex is meaningless entertainment. There are dangers to have sex with strangers= STDs.
Creating an entire marriage, and living together for 30 years just so you can have sex as entertainment regularly is self-deceptive as well as deceptive. Its a SAD thing. A video game is a cheaper cost.
Speaking loving words when the starting point is to get sex, is speaking only lying words. Its deception.
When a man can convince a woman into a relationship based on love when what he is actually out for is Sex, and that man feels no Remorse or Shame --- is someone truly lost and deserves to feel SHAME.
This describes me. I am sorry to the women I have spoken loving words to, because my starting point was to get sex. It was so much easier for me to lie and be deceptive, than be honest and direct. I am a coward. I wasted people's times and lives. I wasted my own as well. I lied constantly. No one deserves to be lied to, NO ONE. You all deserved better.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak loving words in order to get someone into sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie to so many people in order to get sex with them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be cowardly to not be direct with women and not lie.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take advantage of the trust of people
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my word
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my image and presentation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself as an Honorable and GOOD person, with Integrity
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present myself as an Honest Person when I was lying to women straight in their faces
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel no remorse, no regret, no punishment as I have never been caught lying
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy that I got away with Lying to all these women, with all of them so far still having no clue, and believing that I loved them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie to myself and hide the truth that I lied
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to present a lie to myself and everyone else about who I am
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use relationship, life-partnership as an EXCUSE/PROXY to just get what I really want, regular sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find meaning in sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find meaningful in sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find self-value in sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find purpose in sex.
I still feel no remorse/shame for all the lying I did. I want to, I wish to. I deserve to. All I have is this slight smile. I guess cause I was never caught
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel no shame or remorse for having lied
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel no weight, no responsibility for having lied to all these woman, people, and myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy in getting away with lying this whole time with never being called out on it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy with never getting caught lying to all these women, in getting them to believed I loved them, when really all I wanted was sex
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie to myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a slight smile on my face with never being caught, and never being in trouble for lying to these people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy when people believe me, especially when I am lying
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy when speaking about my lie of Love
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find sex worth it, to find it worth lying for.
I commit myself to never use LOVE, LOVING WORDS, CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE OF LOVE TOWARDS A PERSON TO FEED INTO THEIR EGO AND LACK OF SELF WORTH SO I COULD GET THEM INTO A RELATIONSHIP AND SO I CAN HAVE SEX
I commit myself that if I just want to have sex that I ask it directly, taking consideration all the practical factors for my safety and well-being, but just yes ask directly, cause THAT is honesty
I commit myself that I don't use any form of a PROXY or roundabout entrapment to get someone to have sex with me
I commit myself that I keep separate SEX from Life Partnership. Meaning that I don't form a Life Partnership just to have SEX.
I commit myself to respect the Sanctity of forming a Life Partnership, and to not ABUSE it for sex.
I commit myself to not abuse sex by giving it more meaning than simply a meaningless entertainment.
I commit myself to not derive self-value and self-worth from sex.
I commit myself to derive self-value and self-worth from ME as Self and Living.
So agreeing with someone, Hey lets have sex? And they say yeah sure! That is honest. With no LYING beforehand, with no deceptive words, with no LYING LOVE before hand, or SETUP, or whatever shit. However, finding self-value in sex is self-deceptive. Sex is NOT meaningful.
Photo: Slight Smile
I said above: I still feel no remorse/shame for all the lying I did. I want to, I wish to. I deserve to. All I have is this slight smile. I guess cause I was never caught
I KNOW that in some moments I have a slight smile. I am going to say I slight smile when I am lying or got away with a lie. So that is my face with I lie. BUT my eyes, I can in my eyes the remorse and feeling sorry. I fon't feel it, but I can see it. So my lips are showing the point of when I lie.
I have been a deceptive and self-deceptive being.
And for those of you who may be idiots. I am NOT saying END ALL RELATIONSHIPS.
FUCK NO. I NEVER SAID THAT. I am saying RESPECT the Sanctity of Relationships. If you are agreeing to SPEND your life with someone and build a life, DON"T FUCKING DO IT, if all you want is SEX, or if that is a WAY for you to get SEX. DON"T DO IT. Its a lie. Go and have sex, that is more honest. Why is it easier to lie to each other than to be fucking honest. Don't LIE.
Many people are addicted to sex and find self-value from sex that is a PROBLEM too. Sex is meaningless, has no meaning or higher purpose to your life. Don't Live for Sex. Thats a lie to yourself.
Hi Yogan. I am grateful for your writing. I would also like to share with you that sex is not simply meaningless entertainment. That it is a projected self-judgment that's coming from how you were seeing yourself as you faced yourself. Meaning that this was how you saw sex, and you judged yourself for it. And then in separation, you judged sex instead. To me sex is an important part of my expression and of my process. It is a way to communicate and interact. It is an expression of who I am. It can be used and abused as any expression, or it can be used directively as a tool in our process - to open ourselves up, to remember our oneness, and to join forces. Two or more in my name and I am there.
ReplyDeleteHey Anna, all I can say is read my blog again as a whole, and don't select just a few words. It makes sense together. Sex doesn't do anything itself. It's all Self that does it. And if Sex is done within the point of deception/trickery then of course its compromised. The principles/integrity must stand absolutely. It's a not judgment to call sex as meaningless entertainment, that is a reality/fact. If you give more meaning to sex than that, then realize that you are the one giving it. If you are living more meaning to it, then you are the one living it. But it itself has no meaning or power, or any specialness. At the very least it has preprogramming attached to it. If we are more honest about the programming and the reality of the physical, then we can purify sex. Check out the series in eqafe on sex. It needs to be purified of all mind energies, and all thoughts. Otherwise it will create consequences in your body. But surely, starting a relationship based on sex, is the same as saying to start a relationship based on entertainment. How stupid can that be? There is much more to a relationship than that, obviously. So based on all of this sex is an entertainment, and it has no meaning to it. The weight and importance of it is minimal. The weight and importance of Self, and the relationship is great. I could even go into the point of the preprogramming of sex being that of deception, where it creates a feeling of oneness. But I'm sure you know that. If you walk the purification of self with sex, then you realize that its just a physical act and being in your body. All the energies must end. And what's left after is just the physical.
Delete"The truth of Sex is that it is meaningless entertainment. Sex has no meaning. Sex is meaningless. There is no meaning in sex. Sex is only temporary entertainment. Sex does not deepen a bond between person. Sex does not make one reach higher planes of consciousness. Sex does not make a relationship stronger or work. Sex does not bring two people together. Sex does not bring you closer to someone."