The Self is the key. You are the key. If you want to make things better, focus on yourself. Do you have a relationship with yourself? Are you able to hold yourself and know yourself? Do you know what you are feeling? Do you know what you are thinking? Are you here with yourself? Do you Know yourself?

Self is the Key. You are the Key. You have the power. You are the power. You need to know the power. You need to know yourself. You need to know who you are right now in this moment in what you are thinking and feeling. And you need to start stopping whatever it is that is not best for you. You need to start stopping that which is harmful to Life.

Be the Self that is Free from all limitation, pain, abuse, destruction, and full of creation, ability, and potential. You start becoming through self-forgiveness.

Would you like to have a relationship with Your self?

Monday, July 24, 2017

Day 12 I took an Aptitude Test

So I am the process of finding work. And something I thought of doing is to take an aptitude test.

I found something interesting.

In the aptitude test, I saw that my Strengths and skills are in math, analytical thinking, logic, reading, writing, solitary work.

My weaknesses are social interaction, working with people.

The aptitude test also asked what my interests were. I looked down the entire list. Nothing interested me. The closest thing is Philosophy. So in the list there were things like economics, finances, construction, everything. The one thing I would like to do is help people become better, to become more aware of themselves, and learn. That is my interest.

The aptitude test then asked me what my preferred working environment is.

I love working outdoors, I could work outdoors the entire day. I love it. That is my preferred working environment.

So to summarize my ideal job would involve

1. Strengths- Math, analytical thinking, numbers, logic, mental labor
2. Interest - Helping people to become better, learn about themselves, evolve as a person
3. Environment- Working outdoors.

So basically, this job doesn't exist. It's no secret.

How did I arrive to where I am?

I don't have a very strong body. I could get one, and I could work outdoors in a labor job. Yet, it doesn't pay very well and I wouldn't be as good as OTHER people.

If I pursue my interest, I could work with people in helping them. Maybe in school context, maybe as a psychologist, or social worker, yet I don't good people skills. I could maybe get these skills but it would take who knows how long.

If I pursue my strengths, I would be good at what I do compared to other people. I could do office work where I work by myself, I do the numbers, I keep track of finances. Am I interest in this? No. Is this my prefer working environment? No.

Out of all the three things, which one do I have most chance of success pursuing, naturally that which I am more better at than other people, because the economy is a competition not a charity. So working with numbers. Even though I am not interested in it.

How, why am I good at numbers? Because I studied. For the majority of my life I did school work seriously.

When I was about 8 or nine years old my music teacher asked me if I wanted to sing in the choir. I said no, thinking to myself that I would have no future in a job with singing. That is right, at already that young age I was making decisions on what to do so that I could get a job. Already at that age. I could have sung and sing, but I didn't. I knew math, engineering, mathematician was the BEST future. At least that is what practically every adult said. Math is a great skill. Its so rare to be good at math. With math you can get a good job. Etc... Everyone said it. And naturally I loved my parents, I loved my teachers, and I trusted everyone. So I became that which they said.

I didn't pursue my interests. I didn't develop the skills that would enable me to pursue my interests. I developed skills that would get me a well paying job. And I did that for 15 years. Do you want to know why I am not good at social skills? There are various factors, but one of them is this. I didn't pursue my interests. I pursued, math, studies, school, becoming educated. Other people slacked off. Other people went to parties, other people socialized and had relationships. And that is where they practiced their social skills. I didn't.

So here I am at 27 years of age. Social skills take a large majority of jobs. If you don't have social skills you are locked out of so many jobs. Basically anything where you work with people directly.

So, I don't have a choice. I can get lucky maybe, with someone who is charitable that will hire to work in helping people where I get training and support to develop social skills that will take many years, maybe 5, 7, 10 years, something equivalent to what other people received growing up in childhood.Maybe. But that is a snowballs chance in hell.

Right now, what I can do is work in finances, in an office doing numbers. Will I be good at it? Yes. Will I enjoy it? Yes, because I enjoy math, I like it. Is what I want to be doing? No. Am I interested by it? No. Will I like my environment? Well I hope I can eat lunch outside, because I love being outside, otherwise I don't prefer inside, I also don't dislike it.

Will I make enough money to support myself? Yes and then some.
Is there a future for career advancement? Yes.

Still, it won't be what I am interested in. But with the money I make I can DO something with it.

Looking at the alternative scenario. If I would have pursued my interests, like do singing, being creative, or being strong physically. The jobs pay less and are not as valued in the world system. And you are competing with lots of people who can do the same work.

So I developed skills that are more desirable in the world system, even though I am interested in the work.

In a different world system, it would make sense if I pursued my interests.

Sadly, it does not make sense to pursue your interests.

I would like to use the money I earn so that I can change the system, where one day it will make sense for everyone to pursue their interests. So another me in another life can live more fully and more in alignment with their inner self.

I see it as my mission and purpose to do the work, to make the money, to make the sacrifice, so that one day things will change due to my effort, force and influence, along with many others who join me equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad that I won't be able to work with what I am interested in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad that we live in a world system that is about competition and whatever makes money.

I forgive myself fo accepting and allowing myself to feel sad that so many children, like me, willing be basing their entire life, including childhood on whatever makes money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel frustrated, sad and tired, at the challenges that is here before all of us, instead of tying my shoes, and getting ready for the long haul and the work I will do across the rest of my life that will change things eventually.


  1. Cool post Yogan,

    I also selected my education, mostly on basis of compatibility, not so much interest – its worked very well – and mostly that tend to be the case when I make decision on the basis of what works, rather than, what I want to work.

    About social skills, its not that difficult to develop social skills, when you get the basics down. You could try doing some public speaking courses, and see whether you are able to become more comfortable in sharing yourself and speaking with others.