Yogan's Journey to Life

 This is blog post is from my personal writings, unedited. I go through the point as it naturally opens up in me. One point leads to the next naturally. I start with what I know, SF on the energy experience:  Shame I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shameful I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with being a burden to my friends I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with making all of these mistakes across my life I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with making all of these consequences across my life I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with not knowing what to do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with not knowing where to go I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame with being lost I forgive myself for accepti...

Creating a Relationship of LOVE.....  in order to get the SEX. Making a relationship with another human being on the premise of LOVE.... so that I can get to have Sex with them regularly. Convincing them that I love them and want a long term relationship with them...... so that I can have sex with them as the Reason why. The reason why I create a relationship with a person and tell its for Love, and that I love them.... is to make them agree to sex. I speak loving words to a person, and make them feel like I love them, because I want to have that physical sex, because sex feels meaningful, and it gives my life meaning. The truth of Sex is that it is meaningless entertainment. Sex has no meaning. Sex is meaningless. There is no meaning in sex. Sex is only temporary entertainment. Sex does not deepen a bond between person. Sex does not make one reach higher planes of consciousness. Sex does not make a relationship stronger or work. Sex does not bring two people together....

Here we are again. Something new to name within me. An energy without a name, that is unique/different from the others. The name is Thrill. Its specific. Context: Seeing others Fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others emotionally fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others physically fight I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others react with energy I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others speak in energy to one another in conflict I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others argue with one another within energy  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel thrill in seeing others get personal and attack each other with insults  I forgive myself for accepti...

Flustered and Clumsy I had an energy experience and it kind of got me stunned/locked in position. So I named the game. The names are Flustered and Clumsy. That is what I am feeling now as I write this. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Clumsy. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered being afraid of saying the wrong thing I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with saying something stupid. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with coming across poorly I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with sounding dumb to my new friends I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel flustered while imagining messing things up with what I said and people uninvite me to a hangout, or I get ignored from future invites I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myse...

I have been facing parts of me or a part of me that has been buried for a while. And my response first/desire was to get it over with as quickly as possible. This was a mistake. Its not possible to just get it over with NOW. I tried to end it now, and it led to me suppressing the entire point And there is great beauty as gifts of expression with this design. Within my preprogrammed design there is within it my expression It is me within it, and so I do need to release it and redefine it. There is great beauty and playfulness and expression here locked within the design. And the key to unlock it is to walk it step by step Bit by bit Piece by Piece One step at a time There is for sure things I have to redefine within me, to redirect it I do have to adjust and change parts of me here within the design. I know it But its not condemnation or slotted for total annihilation. So I am going to be reacting I am going to be in the d...

Fundamental Human Rights We all have the right to live well. Currently our system is a free for all bull-pen. Anything goes. We have some laws to control, but even the laws are hijacked. It is not at its very core a system of benevolance of love of care of life. It is a system of domination of advantage of exploitation of quick schemes, of cash of power. Our current system will implode, devastatingly unless we change it. Unless we change what we believe is possible, and change what we believe we should do. Its all based on belief. Money is also a belief. It wont have any power if no one believes it does. If we start seeing LIFE as valuable, and start changing ourselves through our words, what we express and write, and what we do, so that we express the value of Life, then we can make it so. We can successfully change the system for real. At the fundamental level we have to change the system. At the very levels describe here in this video. We can invent new ways to relate,...

Continuing from yesterday's post: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/04/day-711-i-chose-to-live-more.html If you are trying to stop the mind for the first time, you may come across the following. You may feel crappy/weird/odd or even dirty in your body. The simple reason is this, you have so long been preoccupied and distracted in your mind that you haven't ever really felt what you really were going through on a day to day basis. So welcome to the real world AS they say in the Matrix Movie. The basics are this: which you can find a nice summary on eqafe in these series https://eqafe.com/p/self-awareness-steps-for-the-elite-introduction-part-1    So you have multiple layers to the mind. The first three are Conscious mind, subconscious mind, and unconscious. There are more. Anyway, back to the point. So just stopping that steady stream of thought already is a drastic change to how you perceive reality. Then stopping your energy. So Thought produces energy. Tha...

I choose to live more passionately in my blogs and vlogs, like how I used to. I have held back for different reasons. I have decided though that its worth it to do it, to live passionately in my words and expression as what's best for all and that whatever may come of it, I can manage it. Its worth it. So lets start: What is best for all and oneness and equality. What is best for all is stopping every single thought. Every emotion. Every Feeling. The Mind itself is based on Energy, and it relies on these points in the mind.' The Mind mines its energy from the body. Yes mines. It harvests its energy from the physical matter, and destroys the cells/tissue and harms it in the process. Participation in the Mind feeds off the body and accelerates aging. Stopping your mind is the utmost priority. To change this world is to change yourself. To take responsibility for this world is to take responsibility for all that is happening in it. And everything in your minds is...

There are some people who I interacted with briefly and they went ahead and made some choices where in my mind I am thinking it was because of me, I caused this. I never really let it go. I blamed myself. I know that its not my fault. So its time to do some SF. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for other's selves. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to be responsible for who someone is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can be responsible for who someone is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be responsible for the self of another person. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself try to take ownership of another person's self, the who they are.... I cannot, its impossible... I can only take responsibility for my self. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself blame myself for what another person does or decided to be. I forgive myself fo...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl9XjNV__eQ So I watch this youtube channel with these people doing improv comedy all the time. Its really funny sometimes. I like the Try not to laugh challenge videos. And so I was watching some new videos today and laughing. And here is one of the videos about Dating. Whats cool in some of these videos is that they open up about things. Being very open about the realness of living and stuff going on. That openness is a cool dimension. When I get access to someone else being open..... that then opens up points for me to look at and consider. So in this video I'm linking its about dating. So I'm going to open up this dimension here for myself and for what's best for all. So first of all, one thing I have learned from experience is that there is ALL kinds of people out there, All kinds. And so within knowing that there is all kinds, who I am in my approach is that point of not assuming or believing things, and kind of cautiously, slo...

My day was really fucking good. I did some exercise walking around and strengthening my back. I read outside in the sun. I am understanding the material I an learning. I read some more. I participated in chats. I watched a movie. I worked on myself in going to heart of what I need to learn in order to improve myself and me in my relationships to people. So I am advancing and going deeper. I am learning and realizing. I feel quite strong, and connected to my body. I want to strengthen that connection to my body even deeper. I want my voice to embody the sound of my body, to be more visceral. I want the presence of the body to come through the sound of my voice. I want to change more and do more. I want to go deeper than I have gone before. I want to see the heart of what this is. I want to see what expression will emerge and radicalize my life, and dramatically change it. I know what the area I want to improve. I am right at the precipice  of changing it. I am walk...

So I took a neutral photo to see where I am at. Now, a neutral photo could be like an amazing face, a really nice smile, but this is not, because I am going through points. So lets look at the points. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future, to fear what's coming next I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  fear something bad is going to happen, to be on edge. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the next corner, the next chapter, the next turn on the river I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  worry what's going to happen in my relationships with people I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear seeing some people go and leave I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  fear losing people I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to conflict, and fighting, yelling and screaming I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  be ...

I want to do daily blogging. The solution I see is just to do 15 minutes blogging. So its short, but consistent. And I just write on what self-forgiveness I already did today. ~~ I had jealousy. I didn't want someone to have close friends. So I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be Jealous of the close friendship of others. ~~ I heard the dark, raspy voice of a female customer service person. It sounded attractive. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find raspy voice attractive. ~~ I placed people here as me, Deep. I looked inside into the deepest depths to see if there exists  ANY reaction to a person. I saw yes. They made fun of how I walk. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame them for making fun of me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame someone for what they do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame someone for what they say to me I forgive myself for accepti...