Day 732 Caught my Attention

A moment where my attention got zoomed in focus on something/someone. Here the mind is activating. It is clearly the mind. Thoughts started to stream: maybe they are doing some activity, maybe they are secretly angry at me. Maybe they are doing something intentional and its direct at me! I don't want to see this! I also can't help but look! It has caught my attention, i am looking at it.

So I had obviously shifted into something. I had a thought/opinion about the situation about what to expect and about the scenarios that could be happening. I was emotional already. It felt real and it caught my attention.

I notice this aspect of having my attention caught is a red flag for the mind. My attention was shifted. It became zoomed in and focus on this thing that was happening. I didn't want to look away, I wanted to pursue and look at it more, and at the same time I didn't want to look at it, but I couldn't move on.

So all of this is obviously the mind, its clearly so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have my attention caught
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be shifted into the mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be zoomed in on what was happening, not wanting to look away, yet not really being able to move move on to something else
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about this person and their intentions
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how this person is thinking about me and is looking to get back at me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be paranoid that they are secretly angry at me and are doing this because of me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be worried that they are doing some activity
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that they are in a reaction and they are doing something to get back at me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to look away
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am unable to look away
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to know what is happening
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have to see what happens next
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it has to be about me, what they are doing
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that someone else is reacting with me as a trigger
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel worried that I am the cause of other people reacting
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself if other people react to me as a trigger and use me as an excuse to react and do consequential things.

When and as I see myself having my attention is caught - I stop and I breathe- I realize that I have shifted into the mind- I realize that I am zooming in on something and can't look away and this is the mind- I realize that I can look away and stop this mind participation- I realize what I am thinking is reflecting the emotions and feelings I am experiencing- I realize that what I am believing about them and me is in my mind- I realize that I don't know their intentions, I don't have access to their mind/thoughts- I realize that if they are having reactions towards me that it is their mind and its not who they really are- I realize that we are all individuals in existence and we are in this existence together-

I commit myself to be supportive to myself and move on from the zoomed on focus or have to know whats going to happen
I commit myself to be supportive of my fellow man and be understanding to them when they are in their mind and reacting
I commit myself to not expect more of people than what is realistic