Day 734 My Subconscious Muscle Movements from my Week

 Clenching my Jaw

Putting my teeth together, my lower and upper jaw together and pulling it in tightly. I feel Anxious about the exam. I think I am going to do poorly. I feel like I don't want to take the exam and I want to avoid the exam. I feel stressed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subsconsciously put my teeth together and close my jaw tightly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel anxious about the exam
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I am going to do poorly
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like physically avoiding the exam
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel repulsed by the exam
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not want to take the exam
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am going to do poorly on the exam

when and as I see myself putting my teeth together and pressing them together and feeling anxious- I stop and I breathe- I realize that pushing my teeth together doesn't help me to do better on the exam- I realize that feeling anxious about the exam doesn't help me to do better on the exam- I realize that when my jaw is clenched that I have more difficulty speaking loudly and clearly- I realize avoiding the exam and avoiding studying for the exam is not going to help me on the exam-

I commit myself to practically work with preparing for the exam
I commit myself to rest my body well before the exam
I commit myself to support my body to be well and be its best through stopping these subconscious muscle movements.

Pulling my Stomach in as Subconsciously Nervous


Pulling my stomach in, and feeling nervous about the exam and being prepared for it. Pulling my stomach in makes it more difficult to breathe because it restricts the stomach from moving out in order to fill with air.

Thoughts about how I am not prepared for the exam. "I can't do this." "I am not prepared" "I am not ready." "I am not going to do well." And I feel nervous with these thoughts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subconsciously pull my stomach in when I am nervous
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous about taking the exam
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think i am not ready for the exam
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I can't do this
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I am not prepared
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think i am not going to do well

When and as I see myself subconsciously pulling my stomach in when I am nervous- I stop and I breathe- I realize feeling nervous about the exam won't help so its to simply forgive and let it go- I realize that I have been subconsciously pulling my stomach in while I am nervous which is a tension, is a strain, is like an involuntary muscle response, and is preventing the relaxation of the muscle and preventing breathing normally- I realize that pulling the stomach in doesn't make things better, it doesn't prepare me for the test or make good use of my time- I realize that feeling nervous is a reaction and doesn't help me to practically change and make things better-

I commit myself to do what I can practically can, which includes resting and relaxing and breathing easy
I commit myself to effectively rest and take breaks within and around studying and working


 Smiling curling lips up and Being Right


I am so smart, smiling curling sides of lips up--- I am happy I got something right. My dad telling me I am so smart

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy that I got a question right
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel self-worth and value in getting a problem right
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy that my grandfather gave me money for when I got that math award
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to curl the sides of my lips up when I got a homework problem right
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel happy and excited to be right

When and as I see myself feeling happy and excited I was right and curling my lips - I stop and I breathe- I realize that being right is not what matters and it doesn't give me more value- I realize that I am not a better person for being right, and answering problems-  I realize that I am myself no matter what-

I commit myself to support myself to remain stable without changing my perception of my self-worth

I commit myself to stand here within my self and not change my self-value

Sad and curling my lips down


My sides of my lips curl down like a sad face- the curling down is focused where the lips meet my cheeks. I am sad/upset that I lost points in a homework. I am sad and upset that I cannot change it. I cannot get those points back. I missed my chance. I believe I am powerless. I believe I am in a powerless situation. I believe I have failed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am powerless
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am in a powerless situation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have failed
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am a failure
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe there is nothing I can do
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad and upset
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believed that I missed my chance
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad and upset with seeing I lost points
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to curl down the sides of my lips where it meets my cheeks, when I have lost points in a homework
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel and and upset with I lose points in a homework
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel powerless when I lose points in a homework
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am powerless when I lose points in a homework.

When and as I see myself feeling sad and curling the sides of my lips down- I stop and I breathe- I realize that whatever I lost it is not something to feel sad about - I realize that believing I am powerless cause I loss something is not well for me to do- I realize that I am capable and have power to do something- I realize becoming possessed with sadness and curling my lips won't change things, won't enable me to use my power to direct things- I realize that I can learn from failure and loss so that I can do better- I realize that perfection is born out of many failures and that includes the failure of reacting with sadness and curling the sides of my lips.

I commit myself to see what I can do and then do what is best from that

I commit myself to support myself to learn from what I failed at

I commit myself to do better next time

I commit myself to do the best I can do right here and now, wherever or whenever that is.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 902 We can win

 One of the indications of self application is the ability to stop. To in any moment, stop the mind, and simply be here in this moment. In this void the mind struggles to fight back, thus it plans instead for its next moment to strike. People are either on the side of the mind, or on the side of Life without the mind.  It was considered crazy for people to live without the mind, without thinking. Because the mind uses scare tactics to keep you in check. How it twists words and twists your gut. Yet for those of us really strong ones, we can bend the mind like a twig.  All real strength derives from life, and thus from self. The connection to all things everywhere. The mind likes to own things, own feelings, own the way and path to surviving day to day. And that is power. But you can take all that power for yourself. That raw power can be in your hands, to decide who you are and what you express in every moment. For will you live the fate of life in the hands of the mind? or will you tak
Read more

The Non-emotional, and DUTY Personality 270

Image
So today, I am looking at how I present myself in the system as my preprogramming. So the question is how do I present myself in the system, by default? So I had a telephone conversation just now. I had called to set up a doctors appointment. I notice how I spoke by default, because I was seeing how I could express myself. So within this process of expressing myself, I will be facing my preprogramming in how I expressed myself for much of my life. I can say I have a familiarity with this, yet at the same time I do not intimately know it. This is why I am writing this blog right now. So I present myself as someone "professional." For me this means being very collected, non-emotional, straight to the point. Also "on the job." If you ever worked with me on  project you would see this clearly about me. I am focused on the work that needs to get done, and this is how I become. So how did I develop this personality or presentation of myself? Through school project
Read more

Day 738 Here's a Cat

Image
I just finished watching stranger things 3 and its 1:38 am exactly. And I have an Image of a cat here. This is my life. I'm writing this blog because writing one blog does make a difference. A single word can make a difference. I know it sounds corny and cheesy. I'm 29 now as of July 13. Did you know I was born on Friday the thirteenth? So, yes I'm 29, and I feel the weight of it. I can see myself getting older. And I feel the weight of Tiredness, of apathy, of the world being so big that how can I possibly change it? How can I change it one word really? I mean really? Yes really. With one word, with one blog, with some moments out of my day I can help change the world. The world is big. Really big. But we have to do something. We have to try. When it comes to the world we have many problems. We have problems with our system. We have problems with needing to make money in order to eat. We have the problem where we need to do jobs that aren't best for all, that's
Read more