Day 864 Alone with All as one

 Would you agree that being a person that is like has integrity and is motivated by that integrity and constantly does and says things based on that integrity and that is what drives that person's life, their decisions, is constantly pushing the limits of what they can do so as to live that integrity more?

Would you agree that is awesome?

I see having that clear picture of "that is how I should be" and living that way I am "accomplished."

The integrity that makes sense for me is to live oneness and equality, to Stop the Mind, to Amalgamate with the Physical, to Practically Live a lifestyle and a career that contributes to this Process of Changing Man.

Something I knew about since I was a kid is that We have to change as people, that everyone needs to work on that self-change and become something different that is better. And I could see that lack of drive as well as understanding of self-change. The lack of drive being even acknowledging that I should be changing. And the lack of understanding being how to change and what I should change into. 

I know that being part of that self-change, self-improvement, that is part of our collective human Change, is one of the most important things one can do in one' lifetime. Because that determines everything. If you want to change the world, you need to figure out how to change yourself even, or how anyone could change.

So it is awesome. 

At the same time we are dealing with the enslavement and control through programming of humanity, of each one of us, and of me. So its something alright. And its going to take this entire lifetime of mine and each one. At the same time its about a becoming. Becoming someone new, someone different. So in a sense its easier than something that is something you do one time. When you become it, it is about it being who you are. You live it. And so its not dependent on human skill, or human strength, intelligence, or ability. It has to do with your spirit, you inner reality, and thus that stuff anyone can work with, as long as you have the physical space and time to do it, which doesn't have to be much, because even with a busy work life, you can live it during your workday. Those for whom its impossible would be those in true physical suffering and torture, like the real poverty and the lack of education and thus words to be able to work with such information. 

And its something simple. Because in every moment you can either be in a thought or not. So you have to see, are you in a thought? Is your mind speaking to you? And you can test it out if you are unsure. If something is going on in your head, a voice is speaking, firstly make a choice to be silent in your head, and thus stop what you are doing. And as you watch yourself, and see the words/speech, you will see whether it obeys or not. If it doesn't stop, if it keeps on going, and you can see yourself here, choosing not to follow it, yet at the same time you haven't been able to stop it, then it is obviously not you, and that is what we call the mind. So if you are ever unsure or doubt what is you and what is not, you can do this in any moment. Who you are is the one that moves and directs yourself. At the same time the mind is using basically your qualities, and your beliefs, and your weaknesses against you. So the mind is in a sense revealing the nature of who you are currently and thus who you have been in the past. 

The same thing applies to emotions and feelings. Emotions are basically the negatively charged energy and Feelings are the Positively charged energy. The mind brings these up as well. And you can equally see how it isn't your decision to bring these things up, by applying the same technique of deciding to stop and seeing how they move anyway. A difference is that what is real is your physical senses. You can physically sense your breathing, how the air feels on your skin, and the various pressures of blood flow and warmth in your body. 

You can observe physical tics, physical movements you do that is habitual, that is repeated many times, which are tied to the mind, to your thoughts, your emotions, your programming. Like things you physically do like even your breath and movement that is accompanied by essentially going deeper in your mind, like going into a mood, or an experience, like for example an addiction where you are running from things.

So you see how programming is tied into the body as well, but with the Mind. So the main point here is still the Mind. And basically the idea is that by removing the Mind, you are freeing your body and yourself, and thus you can actually use your body well, as well as live in a way that is more physical, more here with the body and your senses in everything you do. 

You can look at this as a war with the mind. Because in the end, the Mind has to end, and in every step of the way the mind will resist and fight you. And the Mind is cunning. It is extremely patient and it will wait months and even years to bring about plan that will get you deep into reactions and back into its clutches, like for real. And it does have access to all the information about you, all your history and every detail of every moment you have ever lived. And you don't have access to that at that level of detail. And it will take time to get to know yourself. So the Mind will surely spring its trap on you with you being blindsided to it. The thing is that you are preparing yourself for that moment essentially through taking on the Mind in the everyday moments. And you can succeed. Even with failing terribly, you can still succeed. Even with giving up you can succeed. There is nothing that can stop you really. The only thing that should be of concern is that your time on Earth is limited and so you will die and you don't know when. So you do have to make use of every single moment. In a way you should be grateful to death, since either way a true being of integrity would make use of every moment anyway, so death gives you that extra push to do it. 

So the basics of the process of taking on the Mind and thus stopping it, is simply taking on the Mind in every single moment by stopping it. You can start with watching your Mind, and making the decision to stop. You will be successful sometimes. And if not you can at the very least observe how the mind is moving without your consent. And with that, you can do many things. You can reassert yourself again, you can move your body, you can breath, and you can take the information you are observing and collecting into writing, and thus look at those self qualities, beliefs, weaknesses that the mind is using against you. That kind of info you can write about. Because the amount of information is massive. It will be many pages, and its impossible to see all of that in your head. You need to write it down. Anyone who can claim to never need to write and to somehow be successful in this is a liar and deceiver. It is absolutely necessary to get to know yourself through writing it down. 

Sometimes when you are asserting yourself in the moment to stop the mind, the mind is letting you do so as well. Remember how cunning the mind is. So don't get yourself too air headed and your expectations/hopes up, because that is one strategy the mind is going for, which would be a lack of humility. Definitely have a healthy respect for the mind. But at the same time know that the mind is dependent on the Physical body. The true power source is the Physical Body, and the Mind is basically feeding off of it. This is also how and why you can stop the Mind and Align with your body. Because that is the true reality and way to live. The mind is like a intermediary point, which is a point of enslaving you and controlling you. That is also why you cannot ever defeat the Mind with the Mind, which would be Energy or Thoughts. You can't reason with the mind, speak with it, rationalize with it, or bring up positive feelings, or do something with your emotions to somehow fight it. Because all of that is already the byproduct of the true source of power which is the body. Specifically the mind is like taking cells and parts of the body, and something like tearing it apart, to extract the energy, which is also why we age faster if we participate more in the mind. (source of this is from Portal on Eqafe.) So back to the point, if you use the mind then all you are doing is using the same mind systems to extract energy from the body so as to somehow fight the mind? It doesn't make sense. What needs to stop is the extraction, is the mining. So that is why simply stopping works. That is why aligning with your body works, aligning with your breath, with your physical senses, with this physical space. The mind is daily pushing for ways to get energy. If you observe your day, the mind is overwhelming successful. You have to accept and come to grips with the fact that you cannot simply use your will to suddenly stop the mind for a day or a week or month or year and suddenly you are done with this process and the mind has ended. Because the mind knows you. It knows your buttons and weaknesses. And that is why it succeeds. So its not a battle of wills per se, but at the same time, you do will yourself to know yourself, but then it becomes a living decision of know thyself. 

So in a sense its natural and flowing. At the same time though, your will is part of moments where you push through a next stage/level. Comparing it to lifting weights, its the difference of living 100 pounds from the floor to a table, compared to holding 100 pounds in the air. So in moments you do push through into your living/self and so change. And then it becomes something you can live/apply because it is a self-change. So you do use your will in moments, and that is why practicing in every moment you can is important. Stop your mind, and observe when it fails and ask yourself why. And use that to learn about yourself. And then try again. You can say that superficial thoughts and experiences will just go away. But the deeper stuff will not go away so easily, as a rough rule of thumb. And there are surprises, because you are getting to know yourself for the first time. 

So above I wrote how you stop the Mind in moments. So what does that look like in a moment? So Thoughts are the words, voices and the images you see in your head. So saying stop, and already seeing how they are moving without your permission is one thing. Another thing as well is your emotions and feelings. For some perhaps you have idea of thoughts or an idea about emotions/feelings that perhaps one is more real or more acceptable. The basics is that both are of the mind equally. So in a moment you have an emotion/feeling, basically it works the same as thoughts where you may initially not know whether it is you or not. So you can try stopping it. And you will see whether it stop or not. Now, for me at least I see that tendency of thinking that well my emotions/feelings are a true reflection of myself and they are me. So there is that belief, that it is natural that emotions/feelings don't just go away by my will, and that they have a life of their own. I suppose that is why I found that self-forgiveness was very useful for stopping emotions and feelings, for me in particular. Like in the sense that I was giving myself the permission and okay to stop an emotion or feeling. 

But regardless of my personal situation, emotions and feelings are stopped all the same as thoughts. There is no difference. And you can practice this as well, in simply saying stop and seeing if it stops, or you use self-forgiveness. Initially I would say that self-forgiveness makes it possible to stop, because of what experience was. And its important to note that the on the structure of the mind, that thoughts are more superficial than emotions/feeling, in terms of the depth and layer of programming. And what is deeper than emotions/feelings is the physical programming, where you have your tics and habits and what not. And deeper than that you have more base programming of your body, your personality etc... (source of this is from Portal on Eqafe.)

All the same though, in the moments you are practicing stopping your thoughts, and your emotions and feelings. And you can add onto that, stopping your habits, your tics, your physical movements that are you not actually doing the moving. Here I am talking about changes in your breath, changes in how you move, swipes of your hand, scratching yourself, etc... basically anything where you are automatically physically moving without you doing it from start to finish. From my experience, self-forgiveness wasn't as needed for such things. What was more needed was simply the awareness of such things happening. So basically needed to watch myself and just correct it. So its a doing type of thing. And an awareness of it. In a way its very much a point of listening, because your body is alive. And there is a way that is best for its heart to beat and way to breathe for what is needed in the moment. As well as how to lift something and how to work physically or how to sit that is best. Its physical. But at the same time, if you are in the layer of Thinking and Emotions and Feelings, then you can't really be effectively working on physical movements. At the same time though, it is a technique where you do step out of your mind by working with something physical, though that is less about correcting physical things as it is doing something physical like walking, lifting, cleaning etc... and I do find that if I am stuck in a mind thought then I am stuck in it until I address it. But I say it is useful in terms of at least not letting my thoughts prevent me from doing things I need to do. Especially where there would be consequences. The best is to get to the point where you do stop your thoughts in a moment, you do stop your emotions/feelings in a moments and you do stop your physical programmed movements and you thus move as you body in detail. That is the ideal, and knowing what the ideal is helps. 

There are situations where you needing to change your physical position is needed for you to stop a thought, maybe like laying down for example, or maybe some physical position that is reinforcing your giving up. The Physical is malleable so the programming is not strict. So maybe laying down is the correction that helps you, like i could imagine story of someone who is walking around and keeps pacing and can't keep still, so laying down is perfect for them to center themselves. Anyway, back to the point, that to not pretend that you can overcome like thinking by only focusing on thinking. The mind is interconnected, and so perhaps the way to stop a certain thought is through an emotion/feeling that you are feeling it the moment that you need to stop, which is a common thing I have experienced.

A point of success in any moment is simply being able to regain that point of I am here with the body and mind is not moving. I am here on the Physical level without a layer of thought, emotions/feelings, or physical possession. I am my body. I am one and equal with and as my body. And thus I can move and create. I have access to the power of creation through my body. Because remember that the body is the Physical, and thus the source of power that you have, which the mind has been dominating and using/extracting/destroying. 

When you are here with your body, like for real, you will feel pains that you weren't aware of before. That is due to the mind. Basically that is the work of the mind's extractions. 

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my emotions and feelings as me

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the thoughts in my head as me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the mind as myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the physical tics and physical automated movements as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to listen and follow my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let the mind decide who i am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let emotions and feelings decide who I am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let anger decide who I am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let happiness decide who I am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let depression decide who I am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let love decide who I am

I am not my emotions and feelings. I am myself. I am alive. I am here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am a voice

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am Thoughts

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am Experiences

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am Memory

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am the Past

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am who others want me to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become what others want me to be. 

I am Life, if I can live by oneness and equality, if I can stop the Mind, if I can prove it with this one Lifetime.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  believe I must follow orders, that I must listen to others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be led, controlled, and told what to do and who to be. 

I say no. When I am told "listen to me" I say no. When I am told "trust me" I say no.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad when I am told I am stubborn, that I don't listen, that I am a troublemaker, that I don't belong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be accepted by others, to desire to be loved by others, to desire to belong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of leading, be afraid of telling others what to do, how to be, and what is correct and right.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of taking responsibility for other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being better, of being more advanced, of being the one everyone relies on. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being a leader. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of persecution, of being attacked and singled out, of being betrayed, of being tricked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being alone and not being able to trust anyone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being the only one that does what is right and what is needed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being the only one without a mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to need other people in order to live

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am not worth anything if I don't have anyone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that in order for me to have value, that I need others with me in what I do/live.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I cannot do what I need to do, alone. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to have someone with me, and that if cannot have anyone that I would accept the mind as company.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being the only one who makes it. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being alone with myself without the mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep around the mind because I am afraid of being alone. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel afraid of the feeling or experience of feeling alone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel afraid of feeling abandoned

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  feel afraid of being with myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel afraid of myself