Day 858 Can you Forgive?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlX1ZCpVdZg

So I was searching youtube videos of Bernard Poolman and here was one that Cameron uploaded. I presume it was one he had personally recorded while at the farm since he appears in the audio. Anyway, its a group discussion on Agreements, and various people there had agreements. Agreements is like a relationship except one where you agree to assist and support each other to live your best, at least this was my definition. So as I listened to it, something interesting happening.

I started to realize somethings about me. And about what agreement actually is. An agreement is truly an agreement, where both agree that all will need to live as self-willed equals, and the two agree to live as self-willed equals as all as one. And Bernard said that is what he did with his partner, and he placed his AGREEMENT first. So I found it enlightening to hear how it is wrong to stand as Unconditional Support of your partner, because what needs to stand unconditionally is the Agreement which is that we live as self-willed equals as all as one. So here is where I definitely fucked up. I have been holding onto this idea of being a supportive partner to my partner. That I need to be there for them, but within the starting point of love and desire for maintaining the relationship. This is the mistakes because I am not placing the Agreement first that we need to live as self-willed equals. If this comes first then if your partner cheats on you then you will forgive and bring them back to the point of what you agreed. If they ultimately cannot agree anymore then it ends, but you see its not about keeping them in a relationship, its about keeping them in the agreement until they either stand or not. The purpose is to bring about self-willed equals, that is what the agreement is about. And through doing so we will have a collective agreement as society to live as self-willed equals. Even as a group we will have that agreement.

Through this video I realized that I am responsible for everyone and everything. All the people, the abusers too, everyone is just equal. No matter what, no matter who, I am responsible. And it is within my power and everyone else's power to take responsibility and to present a solution, and assist however you can. No matter who or what, this is true. If you Forgive then you are giving them the opportunity to change. That is what Bernard did, and that is what we all can do, and that is what he asked us to do: Forgive. 

And like how I wrote yesterday, when you Forgive another, you are actually forgiving yourself for holding onto anger, or judgment toward them etc... So its really just self-forgiveness. 

 Can you Forgive?