Yogan's Journey to Life

 Would you agree that being a person that is like has integrity and is motivated by that integrity and constantly does and says things based on that integrity and that is what drives that person's life, their decisions, is constantly pushing the limits of what they can do so as to live that integrity more? Would you agree that is awesome? I see having that clear picture of "that is how I should be" and living that way I am "accomplished." The integrity that makes sense for me is to live oneness and equality, to Stop the Mind, to Amalgamate with the Physical, to Practically Live a lifestyle and a career that contributes to this Process of Changing Man. Something I knew about since I was a kid is that We have to change as people, that everyone needs to work on that self-change and become something different that is better. And I could see that lack of drive as well as understanding of self-change. The lack of drive being even acknowledging that I should be changin...

 Love as self-expression. The way that love has become tainted is that its not lived as self-expression. Its lived as an experience you feel based on what others give you. Self-expression is a decision and it is with your will. And Love would be self-less, meaning you are helping others. So as a self-expression love would be a sacrifice, or performing a duty. It would be doing something that is not really giving you anything directly, but you know is helping many others. And what would be ultimate love would be complete love by including everyone. So including all that exists within your actions, decisions and commitment would mean making sure it is to the benefit of all, and so is what is best for all.  One way to look at is is how one could say they love puppies, in such a way to say how much they enjoy it, but also say they want to support puppies, by say working in a shelter for example. So the doing and the action is what is important, not simply reaping the benefits with...

 I was in a new home/place and I went downstairs and made breakfast. I decided to express joy/happiness, and so I started singing. Then my roommate showed up and said "why are you singing?" It was not out of irritation. It was like saying: "why are you happy, you shouldn't be happy, you are not allowed to be happy." So I stopped singing, and haven't sung with happiness for a year and a half. I was in a new place/home and I was with a new friend. They were kind, nice, and thoughtful. They were sad so I asked them what was wrong. They snapped at me: told me to drop it. Saying as if ""what is the matter with you," "stop being so considerate," "you are not my friend." and so from that moment I never saw them as my friend, and actually my enemy, which is a bully. I felt betrayed. I miss my friend. And I am afraid of them. Who they are is not who I thought they were. Who they are is pretending. My friend was never real. I am conf...

 Fear is a powerful motivator. Us humans have known a life only of energy. We have lived through energy, by energy, for energy. We are consumed by it. We don't know any other way to live. So to live another way would require stopping the energy. Imagine being without energy. Being such a way that you cannot be moved by the actions or words of others. You do not respond or react. Instead you can choose what to do. That is real power. To imagine it and to live it are two separate things. Indeed even imagining it as a person who is of energy, you are imagining in an energetic way. Where the person is somehow energetically charged up to not be moved, to be strong or to be more than others.  Without energy is truly different than what we know. The only future possible for us is one without energy. For with energy, we are doomed. Energy is derived from your body, and its extraction requires your possessed awareness. As long as who real power is hidden, as long as your real strength ...

 I am back from my job again. Yesterday I wrote about my reflections from my reactions to my job/work. Today I was also focusing on stress again, and I was more successful in stopping the stress. At the end of the blog yesterday I finished with saying how I was breathing to stop positive energy. So I had trouble ending positive energy. I tried searching Bernards blog on topic keywords of positivity, and I found some useful points. One point is how the more negative you are then the more susceptible you are to positive energy. So I concluded that the high amount of positive high I felt was due to the collective stress I felt as negative energy during yesterday. So it was concluded that it was already done, so it was a outflow consequence. Another point in one of his blogs was about stimulation and how everything works on stimulation. Both the Physical world and the Mind operates on principle of stimulation. You can stimulate animals, plants, the body, and also the mind. So I applied...

 On my phone with the shipt app open: an offered order pops up. I am reading it's details. I have thoughts: of my mom saying Yogan you have to take what you can get. Also thought of: the only thing that matters is making money. Which I feel stress while thinking this. Stress is like anxiety. My belly gets constricted, I feel this unpleasant experience in my belly. It's like I have to move quickly.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the only thing that matters is making money. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to through thinking that "the only thing that matters is making money", thus accept the experience of stress and anxiety, for as long as I am making money, my experience of myself doesn't matter. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think: "I have to accept what I can get"  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilt within not accepting an offered order because I ...

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlX1ZCpVdZg So I was searching youtube videos of Bernard Poolman and here was one that Cameron uploaded. I presume it was one he had personally recorded while at the farm since he appears in the audio. Anyway, its a group discussion on Agreements, and various people there had agreements. Agreements is like a relationship except one where you agree to assist and support each other to live your best, at least this was my definition. So as I listened to it, something interesting happening. I started to realize somethings about me. And about what agreement actually is. An agreement is truly an agreement, where both agree that all will need to live as self-willed equals, and the two agree to live as self-willed equals as all as one. And Bernard said that is what he did with his partner, and he placed his AGREEMENT first. So I found it enlightening to hear how it is wrong to stand as Unconditional Support of your partner, because what needs to stand unco...

 When you Forgive another, you are actually forgiving yourself. Have a look: if you are truly forgiving another, then you are actually forgiving yourself for being angry at them, for blaming them, or judging them or something else you are doing. Once you do the self-forgiveness and take self-responsibility then you are clear regarding the other person. So pay attention to self-forgiveness and make sure you have walked it effectively. Before you make any decision, make sure you have properly and thoroughly walked self-forgiveness in the moment for everything within you. If you have some self-interest or some mind possession left within you, then it will influence and determine your decision.  We are responsible for the world. We created it. So we are responsible for other people and the points that are in them. So we do have the responsibility to forgive ourselves for any blame or judgement towards others for anything they may do. Because if you don't, you are creating the cons...

 One of the greatest pitfalls in life is not being who you really are with other people. Imagine a person who lives on their face what they are experiencing. So whatever they are going through internally, they express it in some way. This doesn't have to be some extreme version of it, but it is clear that the person is living who they are on their sleeves for all to see. It is not hidden. It is not suppressed. So they are actually aware of what they are going through internally and so what they feel.  Living in the above way is much better than living in a way where you are suppressing what you are feeling and going through. I suppose as some misguided way of controlling how others see you, so that they don't see you as sad, or mad, or upset. But then you never really know what you are feeling then. You never allow yourself to know or to see what you are feeling. You don't acknowledge it. So therefore you can never work on it, or change it for real.  I suppose there could...

 What's the point of life? Why do people escape life? ...think of suicide? ...lose themselves in addictions? ...stop caring about others? ...how can some people be so lost and brainwashed? I think the answer is that as long as you are not in the whole truth, that you are lost. So people who look like they are so lost, are just the extreme end of a point that is the same for many others that don't look so extreme, but are also equally lost.  One of the greatest illusions is the fight between good and evil. And part of what keeps people in their lostness is having a lost cause: which always places them as good and as others as evil. That is not the Truth. Does good exist? Are you Good? Is your cause good? Are they bad/evil? Is that True? No it isn't, and that is why you are lost. You are not in the Whole Truth. Truth is one of the most important things. In a world without truths, where everyone lies, it would be chaotic. It's commonsense that having the clear picture of t...

 Being still and quiet is quite an interesting expression, because if you do so, then whatever is moving in the mind becomes apparent, and chances are you won't be able to be still or quiet. And not being able to accept someone else being still or quiet is a sign of your own mind possession. Imagine a person actually feeling angry at someone for being quiet, calm, collected. That is quite crazy. Yet it happens often enough among people.   Partially there is a bias that men shouldn't be quiet or calm as if that would make them feminine which is judged as wrong for me to be. So as a guy I have definitely been in that situation where someone is simply angry at me for being calm, quiet and non-reactive. It is a very interesting moment when someone is deliberately trying to get a rise out of you. It really becomes problematic once another person tries to get you injured, or hurt physically like accidentally. And I know its their intent on a intuitive level, which I can even se...

 I was looking at Astrological signs, which was sparked by a conversation between my and my dad. I ended up looking mine up. Something interesting about reading it was that it reminded me about how I feel about relationships/marriage for me. How I am as a person is someone who looks for a true partnership, a true friendship with a partner, and how I have also reached a much deeper maturity and understanding of what that requires now then when I was younger. I also recognize that other people are different in how they approach relationships. And that is fine. But I do know what I want and how I am and how I work. And even how I work isn't the truth or what is right. But it is how I am. And other people can be different than me and that is fine. Something interesting about Astrological signs (based on the minute you were born) is that its like the initial blueprint of who you are. It's like what you start out with. But it doesn't define you or limit you with what you do with ...

 So by taking responsibility for this world, for my actions, for other people, for all people actually, for everything... what I am saying is that my actions, and who I am can have an affect on everything, all people, every moment. It's true. I can be the way that would really affect/change any moment. Like speaking in such a way that it wakes people up, it shakes them, it brings attention. This world and how it works, and how we work, how I work= it works perfectly in the sense that we can become exactly what is needed. We have the power of creating.  Being a guardian of the universe means taking responsibility for everybody, all people. It is your job to help every person get closer to their self, and the truth. And that is how we can bring about change. But that means you can't get angry anymore, it means you can't complain, you can't get irritated, you can't lose your patience, and your personality, and your limits are also moot. It really means letting go of yo...