Day 65 The Insurmountable Challenge
I feel tired of not being understood, of being so alone. Any time I remotely open up deep parts of myself, they go straight over other people's heads. How many people are like me?
Someone who gets science and philosophy and mathematics. Someone who can express themselves clearly in words. Someone who fights for everything in existence, nature, animals, plants, all people.
Someone who gets children, understands them. Someone who can place themselves in the shoes of most people/situations. Someone who has a strong imagination and creativity. Someone who doesn't need or care for any drugs or stimulants and can have so much fun without them. Someone who can LISTEN. Someone who can be here. Someone who can do anything and learn anything. Someone who is committed to the advancement and develop of the human being as Self.
Let me tell you my life story in short.
I was not born this way. I made a journey. So that you understand I am not magical, I was not given this, I worked for this.
I was a child yes. I saw things. I saw my own expression, I saw the realness of it. I saw others choosing to stop expressing themselves. I saw others choosing to harm and take advantage. I looked for people that were real. I was fucking alone, but at least I stayed true to the truth. I stayed true to real expression. I never forgot about it. I always looked for it. I wanted what was real. I BELIEVED in the potential of every person. I gave everyone a chance. I allowed myself to get fucked over.
I never quit on this. And this was since I was a kid. The real expression was always on my mind. It was always part of my quest. I know there is something real here this is missing in all of us. I know we had it as children. I know gaining access to it, and living it again is the way. No matter the sacrifice, it will be worth it.
I kept this alive in me. I fought for this. Even though I was different, even though I couldn't really share it, or be understood or fit in, I fought for it. I tried every way I could to make it real.
I lived a life of being alone since childhood, with this knowing of what's real, surrounded by people who can't recognize, can't see the value in fighting for it, and giving up everything for it. I do this for everyone.
I would spend some of my time on this endeavor. Looking and Seeing. Testing out ways for me to change. I believed if I meditated more, I could do it. If I was more disciplined, more focused. If I could be more brave. Every method presented to me, or that I would stumble upon I would try it. I know that I can become better, that anyone can, and if I found the way then I can help bring others through the same way. This was my life and mission, nothing else. Not money, not family. Not material possessions.
This was consistently me. This was me as a teenager.
I did school. I trusted my teachers. I learned EVERYTHING I could from them. I made the decision to learn from older adults.
With all of these decisions and everything I was living, I was become much older. I felt like I was 40 years old already. I was seeing the bigger picture. I was seeing what matters.
Finding desteni was like a detailed schematic of the entire mind. I could explain it clearly now. I know how it works. I even was told how long it would take to walk it! I had all the information I could ever need. Yet with all this information I can't save anybody. I can only save myself.
I may be forever alone, but at least I won't be fucked, and I will have a real self. In short I'm done with believing I am doing this for others, and I can save others. I can't save anyone, but me. I do this for me, in the hopes that someone else will join me and we can actually talk as equals.
So you see, what it takes is determination and grit. What it takes is holding onto what is real. What it takes is the willingness to sacrifice everything that is not real for what is real. What it takes is willingness to walk this alone and be alone while surrounded by people who don't get you or understand you. What it takes is the willingness to learn everything, and push through every resistance, frustration, annoyance, pain, and burden. What it takes is finding success eventually again and again by finishing what you started. What it takes is to live this in every moment, where every breath you take is a challenge in just being aware of this moment of breathing.
So even with all the tools, all the information, it all comes down to your spirit, who you are. What do you do when you are confronted with an insurmountable challenge? What do you do when you are completely alone in how you see the world, even though you KNOW it to be the truth? How do you proceed? How do you use the information and tools before you?
There is no reason at all that I can see that would prevent you from making the same choices as me. In any moment of challenge, take on the challenge and succeed. In every moment, remember what matters most and remember what is real. Sacrifice all that is not real. Hold onto what is real. Become stronger. The surface definitions don't matter. What matters is who you are inside yourself.
www.desteni.org is where you can find the tools and information on the mind. It is very simplistic and accurate, and I'm sure one day it will be widely understood and be part of everyday life.
Someone who gets science and philosophy and mathematics. Someone who can express themselves clearly in words. Someone who fights for everything in existence, nature, animals, plants, all people.
Someone who gets children, understands them. Someone who can place themselves in the shoes of most people/situations. Someone who has a strong imagination and creativity. Someone who doesn't need or care for any drugs or stimulants and can have so much fun without them. Someone who can LISTEN. Someone who can be here. Someone who can do anything and learn anything. Someone who is committed to the advancement and develop of the human being as Self.
Let me tell you my life story in short.
I was not born this way. I made a journey. So that you understand I am not magical, I was not given this, I worked for this.
I was a child yes. I saw things. I saw my own expression, I saw the realness of it. I saw others choosing to stop expressing themselves. I saw others choosing to harm and take advantage. I looked for people that were real. I was fucking alone, but at least I stayed true to the truth. I stayed true to real expression. I never forgot about it. I always looked for it. I wanted what was real. I BELIEVED in the potential of every person. I gave everyone a chance. I allowed myself to get fucked over.
I never quit on this. And this was since I was a kid. The real expression was always on my mind. It was always part of my quest. I know there is something real here this is missing in all of us. I know we had it as children. I know gaining access to it, and living it again is the way. No matter the sacrifice, it will be worth it.
I kept this alive in me. I fought for this. Even though I was different, even though I couldn't really share it, or be understood or fit in, I fought for it. I tried every way I could to make it real.
I lived a life of being alone since childhood, with this knowing of what's real, surrounded by people who can't recognize, can't see the value in fighting for it, and giving up everything for it. I do this for everyone.
I would spend some of my time on this endeavor. Looking and Seeing. Testing out ways for me to change. I believed if I meditated more, I could do it. If I was more disciplined, more focused. If I could be more brave. Every method presented to me, or that I would stumble upon I would try it. I know that I can become better, that anyone can, and if I found the way then I can help bring others through the same way. This was my life and mission, nothing else. Not money, not family. Not material possessions.
This was consistently me. This was me as a teenager.
I did school. I trusted my teachers. I learned EVERYTHING I could from them. I made the decision to learn from older adults.
With all of these decisions and everything I was living, I was become much older. I felt like I was 40 years old already. I was seeing the bigger picture. I was seeing what matters.
Finding desteni was like a detailed schematic of the entire mind. I could explain it clearly now. I know how it works. I even was told how long it would take to walk it! I had all the information I could ever need. Yet with all this information I can't save anybody. I can only save myself.
I may be forever alone, but at least I won't be fucked, and I will have a real self. In short I'm done with believing I am doing this for others, and I can save others. I can't save anyone, but me. I do this for me, in the hopes that someone else will join me and we can actually talk as equals.
So you see, what it takes is determination and grit. What it takes is holding onto what is real. What it takes is the willingness to sacrifice everything that is not real for what is real. What it takes is willingness to walk this alone and be alone while surrounded by people who don't get you or understand you. What it takes is the willingness to learn everything, and push through every resistance, frustration, annoyance, pain, and burden. What it takes is finding success eventually again and again by finishing what you started. What it takes is to live this in every moment, where every breath you take is a challenge in just being aware of this moment of breathing.
So even with all the tools, all the information, it all comes down to your spirit, who you are. What do you do when you are confronted with an insurmountable challenge? What do you do when you are completely alone in how you see the world, even though you KNOW it to be the truth? How do you proceed? How do you use the information and tools before you?
There is no reason at all that I can see that would prevent you from making the same choices as me. In any moment of challenge, take on the challenge and succeed. In every moment, remember what matters most and remember what is real. Sacrifice all that is not real. Hold onto what is real. Become stronger. The surface definitions don't matter. What matters is who you are inside yourself.
www.desteni.org is where you can find the tools and information on the mind. It is very simplistic and accurate, and I'm sure one day it will be widely understood and be part of everyday life.
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