The Self is the key. You are the key. If you want to make things better, focus on yourself. Do you have a relationship with yourself? Are you able to hold yourself and know yourself? Do you know what you are feeling? Do you know what you are thinking? Are you here with yourself? Do you Know yourself?

Self is the Key. You are the Key. You have the power. You are the power. You need to know the power. You need to know yourself. You need to know who you are right now in this moment in what you are thinking and feeling. And you need to start stopping whatever it is that is not best for you. You need to start stopping that which is harmful to Life.

Be the Self that is Free from all limitation, pain, abuse, destruction, and full of creation, ability, and potential. You start becoming through self-forgiveness.

Would you like to have a relationship with Your self?

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Day 25 The Point of Feeling Nothing

So, the moment of Feeling Nothing.
The point where you get to where you Feel Nothing.
The place/space where you feel Nothing.

So the point where you feel nothing, is where you can see what you truly want. Why?

It is logical why. The logic is that if you feel something, and then you try to see what you want, then what you want will be based on how you feel. Consider.

If you feel hungry, thirsty, or tired, you will see what you want is food, water or sleep. But is that what you really want?

If you feel lonely, sad, or anger, you will say that you want company, to feel happy, or to get revenge. But is that what you really want?

Whatever you FEEL in this moment, will influence your answer of what you want. Can you agree with that? That there is an influence? Im not saying its bad, right or wrong. I am saying it as a FACT. Do you agree that when you ask someone what they want, that how they FEEL will determine to an extent their answer?I understand that some people have greater willpower etc...

Now the question I have is were you even aware of this? Were you EVEN aware that how you are feeling is determining what you DO. Like, when people over eat in order to make themselves FEEL BETTER?  Or when people over exercise in order to make themselves FEEL BETTER? Or when people attack other people verbally, in order to make themselves FEEL BETTER?

So can you agree that much of what we DO is based on how we FEEL right now?
yes? No?

So theoretically if we feel nothing then we do nothing? Is that true?

When I tested this I found that when you Feel Nothing, that in order for you to do something you need to move yourself. No longer are you motivated by what you feel. And the question here is what do you want?

Can you want anything when you feel nothing? What happens when you ask someone what they want when they feel nothing?

The point of nothingness is that it is the place where you can be the Real You. Because the answer you give when you are asked what do you WANT. that is the Real Want. What do you want that fulfills that NEED in your SOUL. That is something deeper. A real deep want, which leads to a real deep completion, and sense of Self. It leads to a real presence, a real fulfillment.

I mean, WTF am I talking about?

I am talking about something you may have never experienced. Complete and utter satisfaction with your life and who you are, as a part of everything. Because right now, everything you want is based on what you happen to Feel. Why in the hell do you even feel these things?

Why do you feel Anger?

Why do you feel Sadness?

Why do you feel Loneliness?


What happens when you address what you feel? What happens when you try fixing yourself by giving what you want based on what you feel? What happens when you fulfill the want of anger? Fulfill the want of Sadness? What happens when you do things that somehow fill the void of your emotions? What happens?

It doesn't work, does it?  How long does it work for?

Do you really think that the way to happiness is to do whatever it takes to get rid of the anger, sadness and lonliness? Become more sociable, become more agreeable, fight those people, fight evil, make other happy, do this, do that.

Is that really the answer?

What about what YOU WANT. What do you REALLY WANT?

Is this what you really want? To have everyone like you? To fight evil? Is this a full and complete life?

Who are you?

Where the hell did these emotions and ideas come from? Where the hell did you get the idea that this is what it means to be alive?

As long as you allow yourself to validate what you feel. As long as you do whatever the hell that it wants you to do. As long as you live for the emotions itself. You won't be able to live what you want.

All and every single idea of what you want, is not real. Because its based on who you are now, and who you are now is someone based in their emotions. That is who you are. Every time you think about what you WANT, you will be thinking based on what you Feel. Only when you get to the point of stopping what you feel, where you feel nothing and then you can with honesty see what you want, then that's real.

The Fact right now is that Humans make all their decisions based on what they feel. They feel good with these people. They feel good with this drug. They feel good at this job. They feel good.... Or they are scared of this happening, they are scared of not having money, they are scared of being alone, they are scared of what others will think.

Everything people do is based on what they are feeling in the moment. Are they horny? Are they hungry? Thirsty? Anger? Sad? Jealous? Afraid? That is how it is possible to manipulate someone!

Someone who doesn't feel anything can't be manipulated.

If you had a leader, or you were a leader, what would be the best leader? Obviously someone who wouldn't be manipulated. Someone who wouldn't feel anything.

If you want to be honest, and have integrity, you can't feel anything. If you want to be the best person possible you can't feel anything.

And its not a sacrifice, its a gift!!!! It's something to learn. It's a skill/ability.

You see it in movies and TV shows, your emotions make you who you are. Without your emotions you wouldn't be yourself. Exactly!!!! You no longer will be someone who is manipulated, or be someone that takes revenge, or someone that is abusing yourself.

What do you think would happen to addicts if they no longer felt good with their addiction, or feel bad with it?

To be an addict requires you to feel!

To be a terrorist requires you to feel!

To murder requires you to feel!

To want to do harm to others or yourself requires you to feel something about it.

The question here is BEYOND everything you feel, what do you truly want?

Beyond feeling, beyond emotions. What is there?

I mean you don't know. Cause right now you feel something about these words on the screen. You feel maybe anger, or maybe fear. Maybe you feel insulted. Maybe you feel resistance. How can you even know?

You are your emotions. You can NEVER see beyond your emotions, unless you drop it somehow.

Who are you without feeling or emotions?

 The thing that you want right now is to Feel.

You WANT to have emotions, to feel. WHY??????????????

Have you ever explored anything beyond what you feel?

Have you ever considered that you never made such a decision.
You never decided I want to Feel.You just want to Feel.

Why do you want to feel anger?

Why do you want to feel sadness?

Why do you want to feel lonliness?

Is this all you are?

Is there more to life?

Why is every bone and fiber in your being resisting this message?

What are you so afraid of?

It is you!

Can you not decide who you are?

Can you not explore?

Can you not test it out?

What if I told you that all the problems that you are creating in your life is because you simply accept and allow yourself to act out what you feel in the moment.

I feel lazy. I feel tired. I feel annoyed. I feel irritated. I feel disrespected. I feel worthless. I feel stupid. I feel dumb. I feel sad. I feel mad.

What problems have you caused in your life based on these words?

What happens when you say hell no. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I am dumb.

What happens if you no longer feel the way you feel?

What happens when you no longer feel?

You have absolute power to create yourself.

Start with Self-forgiveness. Start with stopping what you feel. Forgive yourself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel...

Monday, August 14, 2017

Day 24 Living Words

Living Words.

Verb Noun.

Living as a verb. Living Words.

Living the word Determined.

Living the word Touch.

Living the word Paint.

When you live a word, Nothing else exists.

When living a word, the world fades away. Your past, your history, your future, yourself disappears. All that exists is you and the word.

When you live a word, the only thing that exists is you and the word.

When you live the word Determined, the only thing that exists is Determination.

You Are Determination.

When you Live the word Determination, you Are Determination.

When you Live the word Touch, you Are Touch.

When you live the word Paint, you Are Paint.

Nothing else exists. Everything else fades away.

You completely embody the word. You are the word.

There is no thought.

You can Feel Determination in your arms, legs, blood. You are it.

You become Determination in that moment.

You can Live words with something. You can live words through something.

You can Live the word Determination with painting.
You can Live the word Determination with Work.
You can Live the word Determination with playing a game.

You can Live the word Fun through Touch.
You can Live the word Fun through Dance.
You can Live the word Fun through playing a game.

You can Live a word with your wants and needs.

You can Live the word Determination with something you need to do.
You can Live the word Fun with something you want to do.

You can Live the word Fun with something you need to do.
You can Live the word Determination with something you want to do.

You can.

You decide what word to Live.
You are the one that Lives the word.
You are the one that decides.

Can means you can. Can doesn't mean you have to.

If you don't decide, then its your decision to give up your decision.

You can decide to not Live any words. What happens is nothing. You are nothing. Nothing is nothing.

Do you want to be nothing?
Or do you want to Live?

You can Live by Living words.

When you Live the word Fun through painting, you are living both the word Fun and Painting. You are living two words. You can live any number of words.

You can live four words. Or five.

You can always be Living a Word.

The words you Live will change.

In one moment you may Live Fun.

In one moment you may Live Determination.

In one moment you may Live Determination, Fun, Painting, and Touch.

You will be Learning New words to Live.

You will try living new words.

You will find that you have already Lived some words in Some pasts moments.

You will find that the best times in your Life were when you were living words.

You will find that you are Most Effective when you are Living Words.

You will find that when you Live a word you are not thinking about random things, and nothing else exists, and you become the word.

You will find you become more creative when you Live Words.

You will find that Living Words is great power, requires you to be real, opens your Life.

You will find that you are the Creator of Your Life and Experience.

You will realize you have more power than you believe.

The Desteni of Life, is to live as Life.

To live. To live words. To live. Nothing else exists.  You are the Word. You are the Expression. You are the moment. Oneness and Equality.

In such a world, there is no bad/good. Judgment. In such a moment, there is no good/bad, judgment. When you Live words, its pure creativity. There is no such thing as bad art. There is no such thing as bad dancing. There is no such thing as bad singing. Dance, sing, paint like you are the only one that exist. When you Live words everything Fades away, it is just you Living the word. There is no good, there is just You and Life.

All thought, judgment, perceptions don't exist. You exist. This body exists.

You start to being aware of the body and how it feels. You start taking care of your body. You start expressing, moving, and doing in ways that is comfortable for your body. You start addressing pains. You start addressing weaknesses. You start strengthening. You start stretching.

You start giving yourself what you want, through living words. You start addressing your wants/desire, through living words that fulfill them.

We are all in this Together. Oneness and Equality. There is really just the one Self. We all work the same. We can all Live Words. This is what it means it to Live. We are each other. We are Self. We are the words we live.

All thoughts, emotions and feelings are shadows of Living Words. They are not You Living a Word.

Living Words is a solution. Thinking, having an emotion, having a feeling is not a solution. Living words is you living something. It is you becoming something in your body in physical reality. You can feel your body when you live words.

When you are thinking about something, and feeling something about what you think, that is NOT giving yourself what you want. Actually Living a Word to Give yourself what you want is real. What you think is not in physical reality. But you are in physical reality.

You don't use Living Words to Get Something in Reality in the Future.

You don't wait when Living Words.

You are not looking into the Future with Living Words.

With Living Words, you are here, and now, and you are giving yourself now. You are Living now.

When you are thinking you are looking into the future, you are waiting, you are creating feelings/emotions thinking about how things could be.

Living Words is all here.

Living a word is here, now.

You don't wait to Live. You are either Living or not living.

You are either Living a word, or you are not Living a word.

You are either Living a word or you thinking and waiting.

When you are Living a word, you are alive.

When you are thinking and having feelings, you are dead.

When you Live words you FEEL your body physically. You FEEL the air, You feel with/through your body. You are here with your body.

Living Words requires your Being/Spirit. Time Doesn't exist. Everything stands still.

Living Words requires being Live, as in being recorded Live. You are Live! Live on air.

Being A-live. Alive. Being alive you always know what to do here and now. If you are not Alive, then you won't be able to handle being Live, right here, now.

You stand with your being/spirit and with your body. You don't stand for the mind.

When you are Living words, there is no such thing as emotions and feelings. Which means no energy that moves you, that you react with hate, anger, irritation, fear, or love, rush, addiction, pleasurable need, lack.

Living Words you are full and content, not hungry or lacking.

With emotions and Feelings, you are hungry and lacking. Hungry for love, lacking love, hungry for pleasure, lacking pleasure.

Possessed with anger, possessed with fear, possessed with irritation. This is not Living Words.

When you live a word, you are full immediately. The enjoyment is Here, now. The experience is not out there in the future, outside of you. The experience IS YOU. You are the experience, you are creating the experience, you are experiencing the body, you are experiencing the physical. There is no hunger or lack of experience.

When you are Living words, you are Living it. You are the director. Nothing is possessing you, or forcing you are moving you to do it. In fact you will have moments of resistance to NOT do it. But NEVER will there be something that forces you to live word, or pushes you, that is NOT you. You are the only point in existence that will be pushing you WITHIN yourself to Live Words.

Anger will try to get you Angry. Fear will try to get you to Fear. Irritation will try to get you irritated. Your hunger for love will push you to seek for love outside of yourself. Your hunger for rush and pleasure will push you to seek pleasure and rush outside of yourself.

When you Live words like Fun, you will be pushing yourself to Be Fun, and Live fun. You won't be pushed by some force within you to Be Fun or Live Fun. That will NEVER HAPPEN. That Will NEVER HAPPEN. That will NEVER HAPPEN.

So if something is pushing you within you, it is the mind.

When you push yourself to live words it is you. When you LIVE FUN, it is 100% You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are your creation.

Resource for Living Words:    "At the School of Ultimate Living we have come to realise the power of words and the empowerment you can attain in your relationship with yourself, others and life itself...." 

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Day 23 Relationships and Love

So, I highly advise you read my latest blogs, and all the articles/material from Desteni. Because there it covers all the dimensions that I won't be covering in this blog. There are many problems with love and relationships. In this blog your mind will perceive it as me talking about the positive things of relationship the good. So let's talk about it.

Even though this will sound GOOD, it is not good. It just is. It's truth. Only your mind perceives it as good.


So relationships are natural, inevitable. Every relationship you have an opportunity to grow, to learn about yourself through another.

You know those great relationships? Great people in your life? The ones you laugh with, smile with and enjoy?

So those exist or existed or will exist.

Remember that for a moment.

One thing that is certain is the relationship will end. Because death is certain.

Who are you when you no longer have the relationship.

You are mourning, and sad. You are torn.

Everything that the person represented to you, is now gone.

Okay, so now I am going to say somethings that your mind perceives as bad. But its not bad, its just truth.

If you only enjoy other people and the relationship, and then the relationship ends, and you mourn. You haven't yet learned anything. Learning takes place where you become something new. If you have someone great, then learn to be like them. If you are able to let them go at any moment and not change who you are, then you are whole.


Being so joyful, so amazing, with so much laughter, with so much expression and movement, being so much for yourself alone. Would you NEED someone else?

Would you rather have someone in your life that NEEDS you, or is whole and complete as themselves and they SHARE who they are with you as an equal.

Do you want to be surrounded by equals or people who are empty inside, lacking, needing?

Every relationship with Another person is temporary, but your relationship with yourself is forever.

You are the point.

This blog is NOT about breaking up with your partners, or not going into relationships. NO.

This blog is about realizing YOU are what matters. You are the Point. And whether you are IN a relationship or NOT, guess what, you still have YOU. So who are YOU? Because people BOTH use relationship to run away from themselves, and they run away from people to run away from themselves.

The right choice? The right choice is to face yourself, know thyself, work with thyself, and be whole/complete.

USE other people. USE them as ways to help you develop your relationship with yourself.

Be selfish in this regard. The greater person you are, the greatest person you are for yourself and for everyone. There is only one greatness.

If you ever meet a great man or woman, someone who is really special, someone who you can LEARN from, then fucking celebrate and learn. Most people attack such people.

If you see people around you Learning, fucking celebrate. Celebrate the fact if someone is greater than you, because NOW you have someone you can learn from.

Get over your own ego and realize that we are all in this together and it is all about SELF, and so

its about YOU sorting YOU out. No amount of complaining, react, blaming, or action will mean shit, unless you start with YOU. 

The same I could say. No amount of relationships, no amount of sex, no amount of babies, no amount of money, no amount of fame, no amount of whatever, will mean shit unless you sort out you. Who you are leads to what you do. If you break up with the world, and are alone, it still don't mean shit unless you work on you. So just work on you, wherever you are. The rest doesn't matter. In the end we all die. In the end, we lose everyone, and everything. In the end we only have ourselves. So the question here is, are you ready to Live with yourself?

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Day 22 I Remember

Remembering my life and who I have been. I have been many different persons.

I once was a person very much in love and obsessed with one person. I remember all the love and pain I felt. I was in so much emotional pain. Remembering the emotional pain I felt, it feels like no physical pain would mean anything in comparison to that. This is my evidence that love is the real evil.

I once had the relationship I wanted. I had lots of sex. I felt close, intimate. Then I found out the person was someone who was not committed to me. I realized that I made a mistake. I realize I needed to change. That is when I started Desteni. I was ready.

I remember being like 7 years old and sad. I remember being happy in regular class, and when I moved to gifted class everything changed. the kids in regular class were friendly and sociable. The kids in gifted class were super serious and intimidating. It was like being in military school, or where everyone was a robot.

I remember feeling just weird, sad, and that something is wrong with the kids. I longer was surrounded by KIDS, I was surrounded some weird version of kids. School became something serious and demanding.

I remember when I was like 5 or 6 and I took my first multiplication test. I failed. I cried in my desk.

Me feeling this way is one thing, but everyone else just accepting and allowing this, that what was weird. In my head I know there was a different way, and I could see it and imagine it. But no one was really trying to create it. I could see the improvement that could be done in the classroom. I could see the improvements in how people act, how they are. I could see how great life could be. I kept this to myself.

I was quiet. I kept this knowing to myself.

 When I was 13 I had a someone who called me quiet boy. I would mostly hangout with people quietly. They would talk and I would be there listening. I would usually hangout with women/girls. They were kinder and accepting. Sometimes there was another guy in the group. This was the closest I had to friends. I didn't hang with anyone after school. It was just during free time or lunch time.

 At 13 years old I decided to get straight As for college. I was successful.

I decided to go out of state. I was hoping to make closer friends.

I knew people believed that I was a quiet and intelligent guy. I'm not. That is just a mask.

Everything felt fake. Everyone felt fake growing up. At 18 years old I believed that I would only connect with people when I am like 40 years old. I believed in many things.

I believed in old souls. My parents told me I was an old soul.

At 18 years old when my heart was broken, I determined to change myself. Nothing else mattered. Emotions and Feelings are the problem. Both of them are. They both lead to great suffering and they are the same, just with different masks.

Who would I be without emotoins and feelings? I would be free, I would be free to be myself, to express. I wouldn't need permission to express a certain way or to feel something before expressing. I could express endlessly. I could do everything I couldn't see myself doing. I can break all barriers and all limitations. I could be ALIVE for once in this life.

I could potentially hug someone and give them the biggest hug ever. I could be alone and be amazing, feel amazing, and just be Amazed by everything I see and hear. I could run and dance, and laugh just because, NO Reason. I could do anything, be anything, just be cause.

Now, its about living what is best for all. How to do that? Live that? And facing the challenges of this world. The answer is to help people live the answer I lived with Desteni. The answer of being limitless, expressive, anything/everything. The answer that You are the answer. The answer of all life being one and equal. The answer that you are enough and are ready.

I have lived many lives. 

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Day 21 Odyssey to Life

When we embark on a new journey, we don't always know what is ahead of us. While our decision was crystal clear, our motivation strong - we can get distracted by the sceneries we pass, the seasons that change, the travelers we meet, the many cross roads we face. Voices from the past, telling us we are making a mistake, that we should give up and go back to what we've always known. We get caught up in the tests, trials, temptations and even good times along the path we walk. We may want to get off the road as soon as possible, or perhaps set up a tent and decide that where we've gotten is far enough.
We may forget about our initial decision, as if it was in a past life, perhaps even a dream.

In a way, we're all in our own Odyssey journey back home, to Life.  
What moved you to start your process to birth yourself as Life from the physical? What has kept you going? What trials, tribulations and yes - victories - have you faced?

 I don't remember a time where I wasn't looking at things deeply. I remember when I was like maybe 8 or 9 years old and we were given research questions. The questions asked at what we thought of a man who didn't have enough money to buy medicine to save his family, and the medicine company had made the price artificially high in order to make money. I wrote down that the man should steal the medicine to save his family, and that if he were to get arrested for that, that he would still be right, because the company shouldn't have raised the prices to high. At about 22 years of age I read the very research article that I had participate in unknowingly at that age. And I read my own response in that article. The research team were testing out a theory that said as people age they become less selfish and develop a deeper moral compass, which includes care for yourself, then your family, then friends, then society as a whole. It's a little more complex than that but you get the point. The thing is I don't remember developing into this. I remember just always being like this. 

I believe we are all like this. I believe we are all like me. The only difference is that I am operating at this deeper level, and that who are you as this is just deeper within you. Its covered up with stuff. 

This stuff is the mind, as desteni explains. Thoughts, emotoins, feelings. 

Underneath this stuff, by stopping it you gain access to the physical. Something I already have seen to an extent. This is where and how you can do some amazing and miraculous things. Be amazing. 

The trails and tribulations I have faced, I have faced silently. With the power of self-forgiveness you can forgive anything. You can forgive love. Most people wouldn't forgive love. I did. I can. 

The physical is amazing, it is expression. The mind is good and bad, it is flawed. 

What keeps me going? Everything else is shit. Love is shit. Good is bad and Bad is good. The only way out is to stop it all, and start expressing. 

The biggest challenge I face is people. Is when they are being friendly and kind, and nice. There is a part of me that wants to enter into that, enter into everything being nice, good, kind and friendly. It's so tempting. That is my weakness. Every time I say no, I get stronger.

Imagine having no feeling or emotion. Being able to look at anything and see the physical. From there can you truly see/do what is best for all. Otherwise you will be biased. You will put someone else first.

Imagine having no friend that you see as special. No family that you see as special. No lover or partner that you see as special. Having no one where you would put them before everyone else. Imagine still having friends, still having family, still having a partner, but you see them all as equal to everyone. That we are all one. So none are special, none are more. That we simply DO what is BEST FOR ALL. 

What is best for all cannot exist while we have emotions and feelings. Any action within emotions and feelings is already not best for all. Any action done within emotions and feelings always have the same result. 

To live without emotoins and feelings is to be superhuman, is to be what is best for all. It is difficult and unlikely. But it is the only way to be full, complete and truly happy. If you want true happiness you need to stop what you have defined as happiness. Stop it within yourself, and start Expressing the real happiness as the physical. 

My victories include moments where women came onto me. They threw themselves at me, several of them. I didn't pursue them, even though it would have been extremely easy. What I did was stop my reactions, and stick to my principles and my path. Anything that involves not working towards my goal would be a distraction. And they were purely attracted to me because of superficial reasons. I had previously a few years before that time formed relationships with the first women that liked me, superficially. I was addicted to relationships and I had stopped that. Since then the only women I had asked for considering relationship with was those who I believed were very strong and would walk this same process as me. This is because I know I am strong and I wanted to walk with the strongest so we can do great things in this life. I am prepared and very happy to walk alone in this life. I am more than enough for myself. By being this way, I wont settle for a lesser relationship. I can say NO to a relationship and END it in an instant. 

Again my greatest weakness is People. A partner, is one person. With one person it was a challenge and I have proven I can handle one person. But when it comes to a whole group of people, having a community of family, it gets more tempting. People are tempting. It's tempting when you feel that rush of energy from having friends, from having that attention from multiple sources. Our design as mind and system is that we keep each other from stopping our emotions/feelings. We form like a web that keeps each other within emotions and feelings. It's like when you see several people do something it becomes easier to do it yourself. That temptation is what I am talking about. That is the challenge of the group. 

We form groups naturally. Families, business, workplace, school, classmates, friends, church etc... Standing as yourself on your own, that is the true test. Can stand on your own two feet? Will you stand even when everyone is telling you no? The greatest thing someone can have over you is the emotions and feelings you have. As long as you have emotions and feelings you CAN be manipulated. Gossiping CAN effect you as long as you have emotoins and feelings. Otherwise you don't give a shit. When you stop your emotions and feelings you do/act/move what is best for all always.

That has been my greatest challenge. I have fallen before. Yet I have picked myself up. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. Stopping the emotions and feelings is how I stand up. We are not our history, our personalities, our story. We are something more universal, infinite, undefined. And from that nothingness we can express anything. 

That is why I walk this process so that I can express anything and be my real potential, and not be limited by anything except what is best for all. I want to only be what is best for all.