“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Friday, April 29, 2016

Psychological Manipulation


I have stumbled onto the research done on psychological manipulation. As it turns out it is actually very specific and detailed. I wasn't expecting that manipulation would be described in such detail. That was a surprise. It not only describes the kinds of ways of manipulating, which are 25, it also describes the traits, aspects, personalities, beliefs and perceptions of people that make them susceptible or vulnerable to manipulation, of which there are also 25. Of course there could be much more, but what is described here is what 2 people, researchers, found.

As I was reading through this I started to see how I do have traits of myself which makes me susceptible to manipulation. Indeed I have even verbally shared with another my vulnerability as if this is who I am. This includes believing that everyone is good, as well as trusting people. I have also lived lonely, impulsive, frugal, over-conscientious, emotionally dependent, naive, low self-confidence, desire to please others, emotophobia, lack of assertiveness, soft personal boundaries, narcissism, altruistic, too empathetic, too honest, too fair, impressionable, and immature.

However, now what I learned about Human beings is that we are equal and one. Thus according to this principle I must be balancing out this point about which I would like to summarize as being a Victim, though also living out the Abuser.

So the one point I see most clearly is the relationship with myself as the mind. Where indeed my relationship with the mind is that I am a victim and the mind is the abuser, that is MY relationship. That is how and where the mind has power. For example, with fear this is quite clear. With fear, whenever I feel afraid, what is this saying? When I feel fear this says I am a victim of fear. I am a victim of my emotion. I am powerless to fear. That fear is more powerful than me. That is what is said/spoken as the unspoken but not so hidden truth that fear dominates me. This basic point in relationship to just ONE emotion is the ONE relationship that describes ALL the relationships I have with each and every single part of my mind, equal and one. That I am dominated by my mind. That I am a victim and my mind is the abuser. That the mind has power and I don't. This is what occurs whenever I feel something, whenever I think something, whenever a memory is here, whenever anything happens with the mind. This is an illusion. Yet it is the illusion I am living to be real each and every moment I feel a thought. Though has literally become just a feeling, something charged and energetic so it no longer becomes a tool of observation, of seeing, of understanding. No. So the solution is simple. Correct the misaligned. Correct the illusion. Correct the situation, the relationship. Correct myself. I am not a victim. The mind isn't my my master. I won't accept and allow this any longer.

Within that what happens? My future changes, my destiny changes, I can create my life. I can create me. Is it just as simple as writing it out in a blog. No. But this is the start. Writing it out in this moment is a space within me within the entire spectrum of thinking of mind activity, where I become real for this moment in living word and deed. Where I recognize the bullshit that is going on inside of me. To see the invalidness of a life that less than what life is. Where anything less than the perfection of a living and breathing body, within this world, where I stand as the one who can lead his life. Where the illusion of having leaders lead us, or be the point FOR us, when that point is one that WE need to INDIVIDUALLY stand FOR OURSELVES. Only I can take the responsibility that is mine, which is this life, this body, this time that I do have. To live this basic truth of these words is the essence or the only point one requires to live for real. This isn't a message of love, or emotion, of feeling, or motivation or inspiration. This is just the truth. The truth shakes you at the core of your being, it stirs you within yourself. It awakens the cell of the body YOU inhabit. See, LIVE, breathe the truth of a single breath of the body in every moment. That the physical is what is real, not what goes on in your head. Not a single thought, not a single judgment, none of that is real in any way whatsoever.

Only you can walk out of the mess you created in your head. That mess WILL only grow bigger and bigger. It can only get worse. Life does not wait, it progresses. One day you WILL die. That is a fact. Your time is limited. Excuses, justifications, reasons, thoughts, rationality, all of that means nothing when your time finally comes. Will you actually ever live? Only you will KNOW.

Investigate everything I said. Take NONE of it as true. Cross-reference it, test it out. You can't trust anyone or anything. You must verify and know for a fact! A leader would want you to trust him. I am no leader. Never trust me. Learn to trust yourself, by becoming trust worthy in what you INVESTIGATE. When it comes to investigation one must ALWAYS be clear. Otherwise what you see is TAINTED by you. Psychological Manipulation is everywhere. And it starts with what is going on in YOU!!! Beware!!!

Monday, April 25, 2016

Record of my Journey

My plan with this blog is that I will revisit each day and add a new point. -4/23

Living Words:
Living words are words that I am able to live in any moment, in this list are words that I am in a process of definition and redefinition, and of actually, practically & physically living.



(So I created a document of living words about a week ago from today. This was created as a response to a very specific moment where I felt distraught like my whole world was falling apart, and I knew how I felt wasn't the real me, and my demeanor wasn't the real me. In that moment a cat was meowing. I had the choice to go check on the cat and make sure it was okay, or to continue with what I was doing. In that moment I knew that making the decision to help the cat would be different than the state I was in, my current demeanor of melancholy. So I made the decision to go check on the cat, and already my spirits lifted. As I checked on the cat, sitting on the floor next to it, I petted him and asked if he was okay, and I started to cry. This moment felt pure, it was pure. And I had a memory of when I would BE like this, where I would be helpful, though at the time I didn't know that this word is what embodied who I was in that moment. As I left the room, I knew I was entering into the previous state I was before and that I would forget about this pure moment. Having been told by someone quite wise and experienced that he had a singular moment of realness and that he knew he had to hold onto that point and make sure it came through no matter what, and that is how he made it through mind, through ego, I made sure to do the same. That was how this process of Living Words started.

So my next step was to see how I can become this way. I am not entirely sure how the word helpful came, though who I was, and how I became in that pure moment was helpful. And when I speak that word, either silently in my head or aloud, I embody the point fully, which means on a physical level, where I physically move to be helpful, to help. So what I then did was test it out. To see how long I can live it. What I notice was that the word as me stood even when there were thoughts or emotions. If I felt or thought something I could see it in my body, but not associate with and become it. Instead I had the choice to forgive myself for it, and so take responsibility for it as a part of me, and so release it, thus continuing to live the word helpful. I wondered whether this living as helpful was indeed real or whether it was a thought combined with a feeling. So I tested to know for sure. So over the next days I would test whether I could speak the word, and whether I would move with and as the word helpful, thus become helpful, in any moment, especially in moments that were difficult that I felt any emotion that normally I would let it continue such as anger, irritation, fear, worry. I found that the speaking the word and so becoming it, actually supported to see the thoughts I was thinking and what emotions I was feeling. So far the word helpful has stood.

The other cross-reference (which means testing) I used was whether I could live as another word, so I picked Joyful. I found no such embodiment, no such becoming. Instead I had thoughts and emotions, such as thinking about making someone laugh, and feeling insecure. So what I deduced here, based on what I am seeing with Joyful and with Helpful, is that Joyful is contaminated with or containing all the past thoughts, emotions, memories as content that define it. And when I speak Helpful, I can clearly reference innumerable moments where I did live helpful, including moments where who I am as helpful was challenged. I know I can stand as helpful, and the reason why its so strong is because of how much and how long I have lived the word, where if someone were to come to me and tell me I am not helpful while I am living the word, I would just continue moving to be helpful, unwavering. If I applied the same challenge to the word Joyful, like someone tells I am not joyful, I would immediately my head down, and agree with them. And referencing my memories I never LIVED the word physically with my body. Whereas with helpful it was always a physical movement. I would physically move to help where I could. So the word helpful comes naturally to me now. My plan then is obvious. I will clear new words of their previous definitions and content, and live the word physically in moments until it becomes a physical living just like helpful, AND helpful is my base, my cross-reference to see how deep I have integrated the new word and how much it stands.

Now, curious is actually another word I can live to an equal degree as helpful. I didn't include it above for the sake of simplicity in explanation. But these are the only two words so far that I have found that are so physical, so natural to me. What follows below is my journey to live new words, through redefinition, clearing, and physical embodiment. I took the liberty to add some of the words I am working with, and I will expand and explain how I am living the words, in what moments, and why/how the word came about)  4/23

Joyful (Playful, Joking)
->Excitement (Expressive, Moving)
Stable  (Clear, Here)
->Grounded (Stable, calm, collected)
->Slowing down (Cool, Calm collected)

( So today let's open up the word Excitement. This was actually a word I saw and accessed today. And the story about how this word came about will assist and support you and many others to one day do the same. So the basic lesson here is that you can learn how to express live, and even identify such a word to live, through the actions and living of other people, including animals. So this morning my dog barked. He usually does bark in the morning. So today wasn't a different morning. However I did this morning immediately go to him to pet him and calm him down because we had a guest sleeping in the house this morning. But as I sat there with him, I actually saw how he was doing something, how he was living something. Something that I wasn't living, yet I could live. It would be different than how I was, but I could indeed live what he is living. So when looking at the word he was living I saw the word excitement as the perfect word! I knew I had lived excitement as a feeling and have written on this before, so I knew what it meant to live excitement as an energy. But here the dog was showing me how to live excitement as me, as my body. He was physically running, jumping, licking everyone every where, barking, all within the physical embodiment of the word excitement. It was completely unconditional, and as I was watching him I was reminded of my child hood where when I would wake up in the morning I had this desire or movement to run around the house and wake everyone up. I realize then that this was indeed what he was doing. So I decided to join him and indeed wake up. So I woke up and joined him in his expression. I decided to move myself physically, and I already had a clear reference for living excitement. So I ran around. I ran with him. I played with him, I petted him. I became excitement in my action and behavior. I chose not to scream or shout because I knew we had guests sleeping, however if I knew we had a community where I could indeed do that, that I surely would have shouted, yelled, whopped, screamed: yeah!!!! wake up!!!! what a glorious morning!!!! Woohoo!!! All while running through the house. I also then reference another moment of excitement where I saw someone else, a person, who lived excitement for a moment. So within that I knew for sure I had everything I needed to start living the word excitement as a living word as myself as my body. This moment proved and showed how you can pick up and learn how to live a word through the example of others. What also assisted me to do this was my previous investigations of excitement as energy. So I knew the difference between energy/feeling and actual living/expression.) 4/25

Alert, Aware
What is best for all: Investigate (Humility) > Decide/Commit  > Live (Diligent, Detail-oriented, Committed)  
->Intimacy/Depth: with in (myself), and with out.
Intimacy, Depth – living words or meditation?
->Equality and Oneness
->Access to the Quantum Mind “I just want to learn” “It’s just that I only want to learn from my past and make sure it doesn’t happen again”  -> Confidence, Clarity, Self-trust  -> Because I know that through time and effort I can change, or make anything. ->Self-Creation

Authority – is more me, the more I live as words.
->Take Responsibility for
Guardian, Protective, Stable
Gentle with myself
 Spontaneous  xClearx                                                                                

For chores, tasks, responsibilities =  helpful, oneness and equality, Best for all
For Money=  oneness and equality, Best for all.

For sex = Supportive
For when people call me names = Supportive
For when I get offended---- I just want to learn and Curious
Supportive ---- I just want to learn and Curious
Supportive  ---- Are you okay? -----Checking in with me/another.
Checking in
Here (Supportive and Presence)
Self-forgiveness (Supportive and Presence)

Potential Partner = Support, Checking in, Stable
Potential Partner = I just want to learn and Curious

Value, Meaning, Purpose (drive)
Consistency = how often I live as words.

For Communication = Comfortable

Embrace myself

(So this is a new word that I added today in response to a particular event which I would like to open up and share for your benefit and learning. So to start and without going needlessly in detail, while still explaining the point: some deep seated insecurities were revealed to me when someone was talking about something that didn't address me directly. I felt however as if this person was talking to me. So words they used like "just be yourself" and others triggered in me memories about the same moment repeating throughout my life where I just felt like crying because I am too weird, I am too different, that people just don't get me or understand me, and there is nothing I can do about it even though I desperately want to change it throughout my entire life. So within hearing be yourself, it was something quite laughable because I have tried that so many times without it working. People still leave me, people still don't get me or understand, and talking to them my truth or honesty just confuses them more and makes matters worse. I have felt frustrated, angry with myself and at myself. I blame myself because I don't know who to blame. Its like something is fundamentally wrong with me. So within all of this came the need for this word embrace.

So to really embrace me would me to really embrace me as is for me. So again, embracing me as how I am, what I am right now, and I do this for me, not for other people. See part of the reason for my distress is because it is for other people. So the point of embracing me is for me. Within embracing me I obviously want what is best for me, so I won't just never change. So here is for the reader to know that embracing does not mean the same as not changing. Embracing is like recognizing, like accepting. It is the honesty/truth that this is who i am, what I am right now. I don't suppress it or deny it from myself. I embrace me. 

The movement within me as living this word is a hugging of myself. It is calming, relaxing, stabilizing, and letting go. It is a constant presence. It is security, it is warmth and affection. Embracing me is making the statement that no matter what happens, I embrace me, that no matter who I am right now, I embrace me, that I may be the most evil person in the world, more evil than hitler, but I am still embrace me as who I am right now. I embrace me even if the entire world is falling apart. I will stand by and be here.  ) 4/27

What does it mean to be a friend?
-To help. To show up. To give. To soothe. To stimulate. To ground. To intrigue. To drive. To cool off. To bring … here.  
(So the above resulted as a continuation of the point from above on embracing myself. Within looking at how I was using the word friend, I saw how I didn't have a clear definition for friendship. And within that I didn't have a definition on being a friend, where with such a definition you can BE a friend to someone. So its something that you live. It is not something that simply IS, that exists separately from you and that requires two people. Being a friend is something that a person can live.

So to explain the background on how I came to the point above on defining friendship, so to give support and perspective and how you can come to such similar realizations. I had remember a movie called a it's a wonderful life. I never saw this movie and I only knew it had to do with facing great sorrow, great hardship, yet within that everything coming together and working out well. I saw this movie last night for the first time. And there were several topics that each could be their very own discussion. To summarize the point for you here, there was a guy who had integrity, who did the right thing for everyone, and he gave, gave, gave his entire life. Within that he was troubled stressed, and was overwhelmed. He almost didn't realize that the people in his life were his greatest treasure. And so they did give back to him when they heard he was in trouble. So this clearly showed the point of giving to all, and then receiving. Within that the a definition of friendship emerged. Where you BE a friend, that you are there for people, that you help where you can, you give. So for me that's what I set to do for me in writing.

Now, I started with those points of helping, giving, and then I saw more ways of acting and living opening up. It started to include soothing, stimulating, driving. Within that process I referenced my own living words that I have already written out, where were already livable to some extent, so they were clear. I started to notice how you can live any living word with another person, and that is how you bring that person to live the same word. For example you become the word driven, or drive, and with another person, and within that you bringing the word drive or driven within them. So its like you are transferring or activating the word within them. This is of course theoretical as I just wrote this out, but there have been people in my life that have activated driven within me through them driving me to become driven. So the same would go theoretically for any and all the living words: slowing down, grounding, intriguing etc...

So, another point here is that I know that I have to be my own friend. Which I realized was what I was already doing throughout this whole process of living words. The point that is missing here is to do that with me, for me, so its consistent. So to be my friend is to live the words, to assist and support me, to be there for me, to show up there for me, to bring me here for me, to soothe me for me, to drive me for me, to intrigue me for me, to help me for me etc... So the same with the example in the previous paragraph with driven, that I have to treat me as a person to drive. So I am being a friend to me. And that is how I can learn what it means to be friend.) 4/28


Sunday, April 17, 2016

Meeting someone again

So I saw someone online that I haven't seen for years. And it seemed like their life was over. They had a great success, but then everything crashed. And now they are back, and they are different. Yet still themselves, and obviously matured and obviously had learned something and gained something in who they are.

While I did enjoy who they were before. I enjoy who they are now, and the differences. Its really a surprise for me. And now in a time where my life is again changing, its nice to see an example where someone changes and overcomes difficulty, and sticks to their decision, and the part of them that is real, even if that part changes and becomes difference, thanks to the difficulties and challenges, even if one initially failed at them and fell, but one did pick oneself up from them to learn.

So learning is about making mistakes, is about seeing what it is about you that is causing problems, and changing it, to create solutions. And one very obvious thing about this person is that they are comfortable with who they are, and it is substantial, it has substance.

I mean, we can't live simply adjusting our environment just to ourselves. That is not practical. We need to adjust and change. We need to become better, and more. Otherwise we will just always be the same, which means the same limitations. Life is about growing and expansion, becoming more. I sure hell want to become the most I could ever Be! And it is great to see someone walking their path and showing that they stood. And this person is even better now! They are doing more! THAT is what life is about. When you stop changing, learning, then your in denial and ego, because you just want the whole world to adjust to you. So that is a lesson I can clearly see this person has learned in embracing what they are capable of and what parts of them that is real that they can share and give to the world.

Life is short. What we each do with it, including me, matters. Together with our collective actions and decisions, including mine, we are creating this world, how it is, how you see it before you. The suffering, the wars, the poverty, the destruction. Part of the reason why this exists, is because we have failed to stop them, and we haven't taken ownership of it to stand up to actually change it. Instead we rather ignore and live a life where we don't change, and so the world doesn't either. We need change. TO change is to grow, is to learn, is to become better/more than who we were before. More insights, more realization, more commitments, more responsibilities, more giving.

The secret to changing this world lies in the everyday moments. The small decisions. Who you are, which includes me, determines the moment, and collectively we create our collective experience.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Respect Children

We are continuing from yesterday's post Children's Rights

So respect is not guaranteed to children. In fact, it is normal in society expect children to respect Adults, but not for children to expect respect from adults. Where for some reason adults are allowed to get angry, yell, get irritated and annoyed toward children, yet if children do so, they are at fault. Part of the reasons given, which are excuses and justifications, is that children don't earn money, and that they don't know anything about the world and the struggle that adults go through. That children are given a free ride by their parents, so the children should be as accommodating as possible to the adults. This is based on the notion of survival. But in reality, it is based with ego, as the adults are acting within self-interest at the cost of the children. This cost means that children are talked TO, and they are not heard. This cost means that children should LISTEN and not talk back. This cost means that children should RESPECT their elders. The commonsense here is that respect is given, and is earned based on WHO YOU ARE, not based on merely being old in age. Respect is not bought with money.

Respect is about recognizing the value in humanity, in life of an individual. In mutual support and coexistence that can make life something great and wonderful for both. That our flaws and weaknesses are not tolerated in the name of love. That we support one another to be our best,  with our best. Hold no respect for the weaknesses, flaws, limitations, excuses, hate, anger, fear. Instead challenge and show and reveal the potential for greatness, for care, and growth.

When a child speak, we should stop and listen. When a child speaks we should listen to what they actually said. When a child is here, we should see the child. When we speak to a child, we should simply speak, not in anger, not in expectation, not in want or desire, or in fear. Let us be equals and live the respect that we deserve, and so each one can live for themselves.

Children's Rights

Monday, April 4, 2016

Children's Rights

To my knowledge, no where in the world are children given full rights, as protected under the law. Where they are fully protected, and their rights are met. Rights include points such as safety, freedom of speech or opinion, respect, regard, consideration, protection from discrimination, harassment, abuse of either physical, verbal, emotional or mental nature. As well as protection from extreme or unusual punishments. We can even include the right to water, the right to food, housing, and money, for those who see the physical needs as rights.

So nowhere in the world do I see children protected. Not in the United States. Not in the United Kingdom, not in Australia, in Europe, Africa, Asia, Iceland etc... Nowhere. I may be mistaken, but as far as I know, not one country or city or place guarantees the above written rights to children. In some places adults receive some of these rights, whereas children do not. Why is that?

Well, this is not a reason, but it is what is given or said as a reason why. This is because parents are responsible for their children as their property. Indeed that is how the legal status is set up for children. The words dependent is used, or the word minor.

Indeed, children are regarded in many ways as inferior to adults, and are often discriminated against. Discrimination in its base form is viewing or perceiving someone as inferior to you or other other people. Taking action based on that perception or belief is what acting out discrimination is. But it begins within your thought, belief and who you are. Indeed, even children are taught this, as they tend to view younger children then them as inferior! We all know this by how as children we would classify and judge other children based on their age, where being older was always better. For example it is cooler to be 7 years old and not 6 years old, and it is insulting to be called 6 years old when you are actually 7 years old. The same with the grade of school you are in. This discrimination of children that adults teach and actually implement through them completely within their minds, beliefs, thoughts, where adults wholeheartedly believe that children are inferior to adults and SHOULD listen to what the adult says and follow it, BECAUSE the adult is older. And this belief system that AGE equates to wisdom is harming, and stunting humanity because then we don't analyze and test the substance of the message that someone gives and instead merely follow it within trust, faith or belief. Obeying authority is ridiculous! But actually seeing and understanding for yourself what is the best course of action to take is smart! This you can do by actually using your ability to see, to reason, to analyze, to consider, to test and receive results, making hypotheses or theories, and making conclusions.

Indeed, when/if children do stand up and question authority, which may be an older child or teenager, or an adult like a teacher or parent, or simply some stranger, they are not protected from harassment where typically the outside party will not simply disagree with the child but will actually argue with the intent of dismissing the child as being rebellious, a trouble maker, as stupid, as distruptful, as a nuisance, as a bully. They will call the child names, and squash the child's view and perception of themselves, and to instill doubt. One of the best ways to squash a child's spirit is with anger, because getting angry instills fear within the child, which is almost natural, given the fact that children are physically smaller, and so they are weaker, and they wouldn't be able to defend themselves from an older adult or older child or teenager. And anger is perceived as a threat. This is why anger is so effective in controlling most children because it instills fear of potential physical harm. Currently there is no protection from this sort of harassment and it is considered normal and acceptable and it is not questioned in society. So this form of abuse is not stopped.

We can continue with more examples in a future post....