Day 8 True Enlightenment
I grew up in an environment where enlightenment was considered real. so I expected that through meditation, which meant like sitting in the room and not thinking, I would get enlightened. Where I would be happy all the time, and have all the right things to say in any moment. And nothing and no one can touch me, make me react in anyway, forever., permanently.
Looking back now, I just didn't have the proper understanding of how the mind works. Though I tested the tools I had to the extreme. So I saw directly meditation is not enough. That was when I found the desteni tools. I found that self-forgiveness can stop thoughts, emotions/feelings in the moment, and you can move as your body without thought.
So its not that I disowned enlightenment, or think it was stupid. I just found the actually way to get there. This is what changed in my understanding:
1. It will happen in one moment VS You will physically, practically change yourself point by point
2. You just need to stop your thoughts, so in your head say stop, and create silence VS. You need to forgive your self for accepting and allowing your thoughts, and also your feelings, which are positive, and your emotions which are negative, and you need to physically move yourself now, no longer relying on your thoughts to tell you what to do, and your emotions/feelings to motivate you.
3. You will never react anymore VS You will react, but you can forgive in the moment instantly and be able to change instantly, which only comes through practice.
4. Your mind will be silent and you will experience great bliss VS You can use you mind, and you will just be physical here which is naturally rewarding, because you are constantly here with what is physically going on like eating, drinking, the feel of air, the feel of the body, the feel of a shower, so all physical sensations. You don't experience a great bliss that is just inside of you separate from the physical reality around you.
For me, walking the desteni process is the true version of enlightenment. And it is way better, and it can actually work. Desteni process means stopping your thoughts, emotions and feelings, and start moving yourself again physically, breath by breath. It means you will become a physical being. We have currently separated ourselves from physical reality. We are separate from our breath, we are separate from our physical pains, our physical sensations. We are separated because we are spending our time in our minds, within what we think, feel and imagine. We have become a mental persona and projection. Ask yourself, who would you be and what would you do if everything in your mind didn't exist and all you had was your body?
I had thoroughly tested meditation, and I found that my thoughts and emotions only swung from positive to negative, and back to positive. I would experience great highs and then lows. In truth, this reveals exactly what was researched at Desteni, that your emotions and feelings are one, they are both energy. To participate in one is to participate in the other. If you truly want to stop your thoughts you need to let go both emotions and feelings. But not to worry, your life won't become meaningless and empty. The actual physical reality and sensation is full of life. It is just like when you were a kid and everything was new. You didn't have ideas or beliefs or any sort of history with anything. So you would experience physical reality directly in all its glory. But then over time you start having ideas an opinions about physical reality and sensation. You start having preferences, likes and dislikes. You start creating your own interpretation, belief, and opinion about how things are and how they feel.
That is were the fuckup started and that is currently where we are at. Every single belief, opinion, interpretation, idea is a lie. It is a lie because its not physical. It is a lie because its not substantial. It is a lie because it doesn't exist and stand on its own. Your thoughts, emotions and feelings, both positive and negative exist as this. They are fictitious, they are invisible, intangible, untouchable, and unknowable by anyone else but you.
Everything in physical reality is the opposite. It is observable, knowable, and touchable by all. It can be sense. You can feel the air touching your hand as you swing your arm. And everyone else can sense it too. It is not debatable. It exists. The more we humans are separate from physical reality the more fuckup we create, and more suffering we experience. And self-forgiveness is the way to get back to physical reality.
Become a physical being walking on this physical earth. That's not something you THINK, that is something you become or ARE. So are you, yet? Are you a physical being walking in this physical reality, in this physical world but not of this mental world? Are you mental? Join me in self-forgiveness. Learn from my example.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from this physical reality and enter into my head where I follow the instructions of my thoughts instead of taking the responsibility, the driver seat of moving myself in this physical reality, one and equal with and as my physical body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow my emotions and feelings, where I simply follow what feels good and stay away from what feels bad, never questioning why do I feel this way, simply following it like that is real, or me, or maybe divine guidance and divine intervention leading me to the right path.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take a leap of faith and see whether I can direct myself in physical reality and I don't in fact need the guidance that my thoughts, and emotions and feelings have given me, and to also not remember all the times I was led astray, and created bad outcomes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attack someone, hurt someone, judge someone, cause suffering, torment, and pain in someone else's life because how I felt and think told me they were a bad person, where I felt angry and bad in their presence, and felt emotional, and thought and imagined what they could be doing secretly and what they might do in the future.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create great suffering because I followed a mind who only cares for its own existence and current status of living, where I have sacrificed others, I have tricked, deceived, manipulated others, because it felt good and right, and I benefited from it and I justified it through my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the villian, the evil one, the good one, the great one, while in secret and in disguise doing harm, where I played both parts, both sides, instead of becoming the true champion that is needed, someone who is the real version of good, someone who is not compromised, someone who stands, someone who can handle and wield power for what is best for all and not be corrupted, because I could be someone who is not biased, or moved, or swung or tempted because I am not operating by emotions and feelings, by what feels good, right, bad or wrong. I am someone who is completely empty and still inside, who can create things according to physical facts, physical information, and physical investigation.
I forgive myself for not remembering what is was like being a child in this world, and to forget my own suffering.
I commit myself to make a better world where if I was born into it again, I as that child would be taken care of, supported, and be surrounded in a world where people are not emotional or feeling, where people are not thinkers, where everyone is physical, in their bodies, caring for me as a child, any child, with the highest amount of regard, respect, consideration, and honor and support, like I am them, like everyone is me, one and equal.
Looking back now, I just didn't have the proper understanding of how the mind works. Though I tested the tools I had to the extreme. So I saw directly meditation is not enough. That was when I found the desteni tools. I found that self-forgiveness can stop thoughts, emotions/feelings in the moment, and you can move as your body without thought.
So its not that I disowned enlightenment, or think it was stupid. I just found the actually way to get there. This is what changed in my understanding:
1. It will happen in one moment VS You will physically, practically change yourself point by point
2. You just need to stop your thoughts, so in your head say stop, and create silence VS. You need to forgive your self for accepting and allowing your thoughts, and also your feelings, which are positive, and your emotions which are negative, and you need to physically move yourself now, no longer relying on your thoughts to tell you what to do, and your emotions/feelings to motivate you.
3. You will never react anymore VS You will react, but you can forgive in the moment instantly and be able to change instantly, which only comes through practice.
4. Your mind will be silent and you will experience great bliss VS You can use you mind, and you will just be physical here which is naturally rewarding, because you are constantly here with what is physically going on like eating, drinking, the feel of air, the feel of the body, the feel of a shower, so all physical sensations. You don't experience a great bliss that is just inside of you separate from the physical reality around you.
For me, walking the desteni process is the true version of enlightenment. And it is way better, and it can actually work. Desteni process means stopping your thoughts, emotions and feelings, and start moving yourself again physically, breath by breath. It means you will become a physical being. We have currently separated ourselves from physical reality. We are separate from our breath, we are separate from our physical pains, our physical sensations. We are separated because we are spending our time in our minds, within what we think, feel and imagine. We have become a mental persona and projection. Ask yourself, who would you be and what would you do if everything in your mind didn't exist and all you had was your body?
I had thoroughly tested meditation, and I found that my thoughts and emotions only swung from positive to negative, and back to positive. I would experience great highs and then lows. In truth, this reveals exactly what was researched at Desteni, that your emotions and feelings are one, they are both energy. To participate in one is to participate in the other. If you truly want to stop your thoughts you need to let go both emotions and feelings. But not to worry, your life won't become meaningless and empty. The actual physical reality and sensation is full of life. It is just like when you were a kid and everything was new. You didn't have ideas or beliefs or any sort of history with anything. So you would experience physical reality directly in all its glory. But then over time you start having ideas an opinions about physical reality and sensation. You start having preferences, likes and dislikes. You start creating your own interpretation, belief, and opinion about how things are and how they feel.
That is were the fuckup started and that is currently where we are at. Every single belief, opinion, interpretation, idea is a lie. It is a lie because its not physical. It is a lie because its not substantial. It is a lie because it doesn't exist and stand on its own. Your thoughts, emotions and feelings, both positive and negative exist as this. They are fictitious, they are invisible, intangible, untouchable, and unknowable by anyone else but you.
Everything in physical reality is the opposite. It is observable, knowable, and touchable by all. It can be sense. You can feel the air touching your hand as you swing your arm. And everyone else can sense it too. It is not debatable. It exists. The more we humans are separate from physical reality the more fuckup we create, and more suffering we experience. And self-forgiveness is the way to get back to physical reality.
Become a physical being walking on this physical earth. That's not something you THINK, that is something you become or ARE. So are you, yet? Are you a physical being walking in this physical reality, in this physical world but not of this mental world? Are you mental? Join me in self-forgiveness. Learn from my example.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from this physical reality and enter into my head where I follow the instructions of my thoughts instead of taking the responsibility, the driver seat of moving myself in this physical reality, one and equal with and as my physical body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow my emotions and feelings, where I simply follow what feels good and stay away from what feels bad, never questioning why do I feel this way, simply following it like that is real, or me, or maybe divine guidance and divine intervention leading me to the right path.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take a leap of faith and see whether I can direct myself in physical reality and I don't in fact need the guidance that my thoughts, and emotions and feelings have given me, and to also not remember all the times I was led astray, and created bad outcomes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attack someone, hurt someone, judge someone, cause suffering, torment, and pain in someone else's life because how I felt and think told me they were a bad person, where I felt angry and bad in their presence, and felt emotional, and thought and imagined what they could be doing secretly and what they might do in the future.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create great suffering because I followed a mind who only cares for its own existence and current status of living, where I have sacrificed others, I have tricked, deceived, manipulated others, because it felt good and right, and I benefited from it and I justified it through my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the villian, the evil one, the good one, the great one, while in secret and in disguise doing harm, where I played both parts, both sides, instead of becoming the true champion that is needed, someone who is the real version of good, someone who is not compromised, someone who stands, someone who can handle and wield power for what is best for all and not be corrupted, because I could be someone who is not biased, or moved, or swung or tempted because I am not operating by emotions and feelings, by what feels good, right, bad or wrong. I am someone who is completely empty and still inside, who can create things according to physical facts, physical information, and physical investigation.
I forgive myself for not remembering what is was like being a child in this world, and to forget my own suffering.
I commit myself to make a better world where if I was born into it again, I as that child would be taken care of, supported, and be surrounded in a world where people are not emotional or feeling, where people are not thinkers, where everyone is physical, in their bodies, caring for me as a child, any child, with the highest amount of regard, respect, consideration, and honor and support, like I am them, like everyone is me, one and equal.
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