Yogan's Journey to Life

So I have been enjoying the physical. Enjoying the physical sound of music. Enjoying the feeling of my hand outside my car driving, feeling the wind. Being here in my body and addressing/stopping any physical pains. Enjoying the feeling of water on my body while showering. Enjoying the feeling of the cloth in bed. Enjoying the flavor and taste of pickles, bread, cheese. Enjoying the physical sun. Enjoying breathing heavily while working outside. Enjoying paying attention and focusing on a physical project and making it the best outcome. Enjoying playing a trick/joke on other people. Enjoying myself/alone. Enjoying my presence. Enjoying my gentleness and softness. Enjoying my ability to move and express anything I want to express in the moment. Enjoying my ability to work long hours. Enjoying my complete intimacy and depth with myself. Enjoying my own sound while singing. Enjoying my own dance while dancing. Enjoying the feel of my own clothes. Enjoying all of physical reality, in my ...

The very basic tenets from Desteni is that Emotions, feelings and thoughts? Problems. And its not because Desteni says so. I never listened to anybody just because they say so. Cause that's stupid. But when I heard the first time from Desteni how they describe how Energy works, and how emotions, feelings and thoughts work. Immediately knew it was true because I could see right away across my entire life how this has occurred. Every time I get excited about something or someone I get stupid, where I miss some things or ignore some things and I inevitably create my own downfall and create misery and suffering for myself. I mean, I could tell already in that moment that normal people wouldn't want to believe this to be true, or shall I say deny looking at how it is true and has happened across their entire lives. But its true. And most people will deny it. People will argue that love and light is good. People will defend the right to feel happy and pursue happiness, because it s...

Achieve Integrity. Integrity is the single most powerful force. A man with integrity will stop at nothing. A man with integrity can banish all fears. A man with integrity can command the physical. A man with integrity will vanquish all limitations. A man with integrity will bring about a new world. Integrity is the single most valuable thing. It is more valuable than all the money in the world. It is more valuable than all the relationships in the world. It is more valuable than all the Love and all the Sex in the world. It is more valuable than all the Drugs in the world. It more valuable than all the highs in the world combined. Nothing is more valuable than Integrity. Integrity is standing by and for what is best for all, as all as one and equal. Integrity is incorruptible. It is steadfast, unwavering and absolute. It is righteous, powerful, unstoppable. Integrity cannot be swayed, bribed, persuaded. Integrity cannot be moved, faltered, or weakened. A man with Integrity ...

So I am the process of finding work. And something I thought of doing is to take an aptitude test. I found something interesting. In the aptitude test, I saw that my Strengths and skills are in math, analytical thinking, logic, reading, writing, solitary work. My weaknesses are social interaction, working with people. The aptitude test also asked what my interests were. I looked down the entire list. Nothing interested me. The closest thing is Philosophy. So in the list there were things like economics, finances, construction, everything. The one thing I would like to do is help people become better, to become more aware of themselves, and learn. That is my interest. The aptitude test then asked me what my preferred working environment is. I love working outdoors, I could work outdoors the entire day. I love it. That is my preferred working environment. So to summarize my ideal job would involve 1. Strengths- Math, analytical thinking, numbers, logic, mental labor 2....

This blog post may not be so great. The thing I worked on today involves my relationship with my mom, at an early age. She was my root, my connection to this world. She was my world, my sun, my everything. I felt like I connected to her, I felt understood, I felt I received attention. And when I was not with her I noticed the difference. When I started school, I notice most people, or  really no one gave me that same attention and treated me that way. What I can observe now is that as I met people that actually in some way did give me attention and was nice and kind to me, I started really liking those people, having crushes on them, or just wanted to hug them. You have to understand that I felt so much love for my mom, then I would love to go up to her and hug her. And I related to some of my teachers this way. But why is this? Why feel this way? Because what happens later is the relationship falls apart, where I start talking about things where she doesn't understand. I sta...

So saying/making the statement I don't care what other people think of me, I feel guilty, bad, resistant like anyone who ever makes this statement shouldn't. Because they are probably suppressing something, hiding something, and that's why they are saying it. Well here is an example of utilizing myself to create what is best for all. Because if I don't even take my thoughts seriously meaning I am actively stopping, and not listening or trusting any thought within me. Why in hell would I feel any differently to what other people think, the thoughts other people have, the opinions, beliefs, judgements, statements. I mean I would only be making it equal, how I view my thoughts, and other people's thoughts. So when I made this statement I saw a change, where I become more effective in what I do. Thoughts are thoughts. Whether they are within you or another person. Its still a thought. Thoughts in themselves are not in the physical or substantial. And the thought...

Strength, Being Strong. Speaking strong. Moving Strong. My Strength I have always been strong enough. I am strong. I have only suppressed it, muffles it, snuffed it out, with fear. I am afraid of being strong and using my strength to change the world. I am afraid of having an affect on people, on having power over people, on having power over the fate of the world, and the lives of individuals. I am afraid of having the ability through speech alone being able to motivate, move people into a direction. I am afraid of the responsibility. I am afraid of failing and being corrupted by power. I fear having power and being powerful.  All these fears are lies. Because being weak, doing nothing, just not participating, not having an affect, not having a say, your just sealing the already existent fate of the world. Right now, it is certain that by doing nothing your damning the world and everyone to hell. That is our current trajectory. So doing something, anything is damn sure better....

I grew up in an environment where enlightenment was considered real. so I expected that through meditation, which meant like sitting in the room and not thinking, I would get enlightened. Where I would be happy all the time, and have all the right things to say in any moment. And nothing and no one can touch me, make me react in anyway, forever., permanently. Looking back now, I just didn't have the proper understanding of how the mind works. Though I tested the tools I had to the extreme. So I saw directly meditation is not enough. That was when I found the desteni tools. I found that self-forgiveness can stop thoughts, emotions/feelings in the moment, and you can move as your body without thought. So its not that I disowned enlightenment, or think it was stupid. I just found the actually way to get there. This is what changed in my understanding: 1. It will happen in one moment  VS You will physically, practically change yourself point by point 2. You just need to stop y...

When I had a partner I told her that I love her equally. We were talking about how come we loved each other, and I told her, "In truth I know that I could love anyone equally, meaning that it just happens to be you, but it could have been anyone." Suffice to say, NO ONE, in present times, would want to hear that. What do people want to hear, they want to hear how you are special, how you are so beautiful, so wonderful, so precious. My father even tried to teach me that. So this is no secret. But I didn't do that in that moment. For me, I tried not to add any energy to the relationship. I tried to maintain oneness and equality. Because relationships based on specialness or unequal love, is a lie. If you love anyone more than anyone else, that is a lie. Equal love is true love. Equal love is loving everyone equally. This isn't a grand statement. You don't try to increase the energy within you to feel love for everyone. You actually decrease the energy within you...

Judging people before you get to know them. This leads to great suffering. Judgment. What is Judgment? Judgment is when you have a thought, a thought about something, and you believe it, and charge it emotionally. The truth doesn't need believing it just exists, and it exists without emotion or feeling. So judgment is not that.  How many times have judged something or someone. Maybe it is a group of people. Maybe its people with money, without money, beautiful people, ugly people, happy people, sad people, loners, popular people, friendly people, nasty people, spiritual people, pessimistic people. All of these words represent forms of judgment. Because there is no way one word can define an entire person. Looking at what was said yesterday, Evil needs to stop. So here Judgment is evil, and evil, the act of evil, and the thoughts must stop. Because this evil, judgment leads to suffering. How many opportunities did you screw up because of what you judged another to be, and ther...

The past year in the half I have been reeling in suffering. I have been giving up too easily. I get cranky. I don't clean up my messes and haven't been doing all my responsibilities. I have been doing less. And what I have been trying to do is to figure out why. I don't know. I have pushed myself to do more/better but it hasn't worked. I went through an experienced about a year and a half ago. I also went through experiences the last 3 years. I have met certain people, spent time with them. In short I faced evil. I faced moments with people where they were truly evil. They deceived me, lied to me. They did it with a smile. They took and still continue to take advantage of people everyday, even right now as I write this. And there is nothing I can do to make them stop. I am powerless. Bernard once said sometimes you have risk getting screwed over. And I believe that, and I still believe it. Because this life is too short, and valuable to waste not trying new things. ...

Imagine, hearing the sound of people that you loved and cared about and were completely committed to, making sounds of wanting you out, cheering for you to be gone, being completely against you and knowing that the reason is because someone is manipulating them and telling them lies. Imagine, the first person you ever kissed, who you were completely committed to, and wanted to be with and spend time with, telling you that they don't want to spend time with you anymore and that you are a burden to them. Imagine that you blamed yourself. There is absolute suffering, hell, devastation within you. You heart is shattered. Your in constant suffering within yourself. You feel remorse and grief. You feel pain and anguish. You want to cry from the pain you feel.   You are traumatized. You are stuck and frozen in time. Do you have any preparation for this? Is there anyone that can actually assist you properly? Because getting angry, wanting revenge and blaming.... are not an...

Fear of Being Alone. We do a lot in the name of NOT being Alone. I have done a lot. How much? I went into years of depression because I had people in my life. I had the attention, the love, the admiration, the worship, celebration, care. I felt needed and wanted, I felt I belonged. I felt like this is who I am, I found myself, this where I am supposed to be and do. All of this that I felt and thought was a lie. Because these feelings are lies. These thoughts are lies. This positivity, this bliss, this pleasure is a lie. How can feeling good be a lie? I was part of some people's everyday life. I got to know them. They would smile at me, and I would make them happy. When I would make they happy, laugh and have fun, I felt amazing. I felt complete, I felt great, I felt wonderful and bliss. This is all I ever wanted to do forever. Just make them happy. I wanted to keep them in my life, and I wanted them to keep me in their lives. I wanted to own them and be owned. I wanted...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight for what is best for all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use what is best for all as an excuse to generate emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings are always unacceptable. If a person is screaming at you or yelling at you, and you react, it is still your responsibility. If you use screaming and yelling to get someone to stop, that is unacceptable. You can't use emotions and feelings for what is best for all. It's not possible. You don't have to worry about whether what you are doing or saying is leading to emotions and feelings in others. All you have to focus on is whether you are having any emotions or feelings. If are you able to create the most beautiful and perfect relationship using feelings, it is still meaningless. If you are able to make this world a utopia and bring order by using using your emotions, it is worthless. Anything and Everything "created" thro...

I am starting my blog again, from day 1. And I renamed it Yogan's Journey to Life. It was called a child's Journey to life before. I commit myself to do a blog daily. So next year I will be at 365 days of blogs. Each day I will write about about I learned, or something I struggling with. It is about my process of becoming the greatest of humanity. Becoming god-like. Becoming child-like. Becoming humble, real, innocent, responsible, expressive. Becoming like all the great Men and Women who have walked this earth. The greatest man or woman is he or she lives for oneness and equality. Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr did that. Oneness and Equality is the essence and nature of all Life. It is the highest and only truth. It is also the truth that is denied, rejected, and spit upon daily by everyone, including you. Any moment where you have a thought about another person, any moment where you speak to a person in a reaction, any moment where you breath in separation from you body, ...

Ever since I was a child I have seen the world the same. There is something inherently wrong with it. And every time I brought this up with my parents they would resist such a statement. They would talk about how great the world is. So this is about setting the record straight. I will be talking about how the world should be, and you the reader can decide whether there is anything wrong with this world. Also, whether you agree with my solution being the only solution. So when I was in school and simply being there around people, other students, the teachers, I already saw how wrong things were. I remember a situation where I was in Kindergarten and I had kissed some of the girls on the cheek just like I would do in my family. It was a sign of love you could say. Familial love. Just like a hug. When I did this the teacher had put me in time out. I did nothing wrong and the teacher looked at me like I did. She could have very well just explained to me that situation, but she didn’t....