My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1

So I am faced with a really interesting point that is a really unique opportunity. This is a big point that I don't understand. So what I am seeing here is an opportunity to walk through piece by piece and it being a cool way to walk something big that I don't understand in a series of blogs. I haven't walked something so big, at least in a while. And given how comfortable I am now within writing, I am now able to walk it in a series of blog in this way, even when I don't have the full point walked yet for myself. So this will be a cool opportunity for real time walking and writing.

So the above is my little introduction, and I will say that the following course is what has helped me or supported me to write and investigate myself, if you are interested in doing the same. Desteniiprocess.com

So basically I spent a long period of time with someone yesterday. Who this person is in relation to me, is obvious to me as being very important to this point. This is a parent, and I do wish to respect their privacy. So this is to make it clear that what I am saying here has nothing to do with this person at all, and it only has to do with my own reactions to this person, so this is my responsibility, and says only about who I am, and says nothing about this person. So it is significant that is my mother. The word mother itself is rather important. For this point I see that the phrase momma's boy is significant.

So because the entire thing I am facing is made of so many little points, I see the best option is to really take my time here and just walk each little point in detail. So we will start today's post with momma's boy and will continue with future posts on the various other points.

So I have had a special relationship with my mother. So in what way am I or have I been a momma's boy? So I have said that my parents are my best friend, which was many years ago while I was a child. I could say that I very often listened to my parents, and followed to what they said. I would often ask them for help and they would help. So I relied on them. So I had a clear trust with them. I dared not do drugs, or drink alcohol, or have sex with random people, in case they were to find out, because they did warn me about that. I also dared not fail in school or get bad grades too, in case they were to find out, or I would have to tell them. I am sure that there are many people out there that can relate to what I shared here.

So in just looking at this one point, and I shared, at a deeper level, and just reflecting on it. I acted and lived in the way that my parents approved. So I did what my parents say to do. Now, what is interesting here that I am observing in this moment is how the previous two sentences don't seem bad, that they actually seem acceptable and common. So in general it is accepted to do what you parents say, as if that is the norm, and that if you don't then you are abnormal or strange. Do this seem to be the case for you?

But now, if I were to rephrase things differently, like you listened to your parents without question, without being aware of what you were in fact doing, and why, and without the awareness of whether it wasn't something that was harming you or if it was something benefiting you, then that's a different story. Is this why we call parents bad if they raise their children bad? So it seems that we in general accept that what parents say to their children is what is right or what is good, so that most parents are good, and say what is right.

Now on a deeper level, when we see and ask why our parents have this relationship to their children, we see that it is because we accept the following statement. Children don't know, children don't know what is good/bad, or right/wrong. Children can't know or find out. Children cannot think for themselves and developing reasoning without input. Children are just the result of what you input into them. So parents are completing responsible for inputting what is best into their children. These are the statement we have accepted. This is called nurture.

I question these statements. Is this really in fact true? Or have we just accepted a false belief? For example, if children had a soul, or a personality or if they were already a person, then it wouldn't be true that they were just a blank canvas. So children have an awareness that is intelligent that is just as real as any adult? My sense is that they are a person, but just within an underdeveloped body and language skills. And that they don't need to know what you believe is good/bad or right/wrong in order to live to the fullest life.

This view would revolutionize how we all view children. From children being empty, blank, that turn into what we put into them. Into a view that they are alive, that have an intelligent awareness, but lack physical development, that takes time to develop. Let's call these optional views, view 1 and view 2 respectively.

So in view 1, how the world is viewing children now, this means that we must input everything into the child. This includes not only language, and knowledge about the world, but also how to view the world, which means morality, and "how to think", "how to reason", "how to relate to the world", "who you are". I mean this is quite extreme if you consider taking a fully aware and intelligent person and taking them through a brainwashing procedure to tell them "who they are" and not accepting any other answer. So view 2, is that they are aware beings, and right now no one is living that in the world. But what would that look like?

So if we did have view 2, we would perhaps let children decide who they are in relation to the world. We would only assist them in acquiring knowledge of the world, but we won't tell them how to acquire, how to relate to it, and who they must be in relation to the knowledge. Knowledge includes language, which is very fundamental and so useful that it is practically necessary. We wouldn't influence them into thinking a certain way or acting a certain way. They would simply make decisions...........


As humanity we have lost the ability to make decisions. So what I am describing here is describing what all of us go through and who we are right now.

............ They would decide how to think, and how to act. Can you say that you decide how to think and how to act? No? then this here may be the reason why. Because you were brainwashed.

Okay so this concludes part 1. I was brainwashed to think in a certain way, to decide in a certain way, to act a in a certain way etc... I was brainwashed so have a certain belief about who I am. I didn't decide who I am. I instead accepted and allowed a belief about who I am. This is what it means to be a Momma's boy. So we are all momma's boys. The wording itself indicates ownership. Who owns people? Slavers do. So we are all participate in slavery in thought, word and deed. No parent owns any child, even one that came from the body they are responsible for. You don't own your body neither.