“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Monday, May 11, 2015

Calming Energy 271


So today, I woke up tired. This meant that I continued in bed for a while. I was really looking at this point. I notice that my face was rather pale, meaning that there wasn't a lot of blood  circulation, thus why my face looked more white/pale. And I was just being aware of the whole tired experience. So I know I had things to do, I had to leave the house for some errands. I was going with someone else, and while I was waiting for them to get ready, I had time to reflect and investigate on what this is. So I considered the possibilities, the first is that there is something wrong with my body, that it needs something, or it has some problem that needs fixing, for that I have to see the doctor and measure blood, which is what I plan to do. But in knowing what I know, and seeing what I have seen, it is possible that this can have something to do with my mind and some pattern or system that is activated. So in that I did see something, and as I looked throughout my body, I did feel something that was an energy and that was present throughout my body so from my toes to my arms/fingers. So I just focused on that and I would like to share some of what I found.

So while I was on the couch waiting for the other person to get ready, I was looking and trying to find out what this energy is, where it comes from, and why is it here. So, first I looked at it and tried to see if I can name it. At first no apparent name/word came up. As I focused on my body, the overall expression, movement, as a reaction of the body was that being sleepy or tired. My eyes wanted to close, like heavy closed, all the way. and my Head wanted to just tilt forward. So I tried tired as the name for the energy. I saw that it was not quite the experience I had, close, but not it. So i went through some similar words and the word calm fit. Calm energy, so that was it I saw. It was like really calm, like calm in absolute. From there and having identified the energy some very clear memories came up as I was looking in how I have lived and experience this same energy. Each memory I saw, there were 3, represented a different situation or association that I have given to this energy experience, and word calm. I also asked myself, why this energy existed and so how have I used this energy in the past, purposefully, and to do what? So immediately I saw just a general pattern where I enter into sleepy state, calm energy, when trying to avoid what is here, and in trying to get to a future moment. So in having these 4 point in total, I felt, YES I have got all the points. And so I did self-forgiveness. Now, I knew that the energy will still come up throughout my day and life in general and the temptation as well, and that is when I have to stand and say no, and simply not participate in it. And I also did a self-correction, because what I realized that was misaligned here was the expression as calm as rest was not effective, and has been channeled through the mind as the calm energy. So my correction included making a decision on when I am On/Off, similar to a light switch, where I am completely resting or I am completely awake/here and activated for movement. Because what I realized too is that the calming energy wasn't really a calm or restful state, because energy was moving within me. And that is what I was in this morning and so last night when I went to bed. You can imagine how much rest I got while in an energetic state, even that which is the calm energy. So that is why I need to direct and decide when I awake and when I sleep. Otherwise it is just all in the air, and undefined. I don't see it as relevant in sharing the other dimensions and associations of the calm energy, because it really is just a personal point. However if you are experiencing something similar, I suggest to investigate yourself and develop that self-questioning, because the answers are within you. I am still going to the doctors btw, because it is possible that the body has been conditioned to this experience for so long that I may need some more support for the body.

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