“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Monday, December 29, 2014

I am the law, I am the word, I am the authority 219

Ego.
So I'm getting quicker, faster, more accurate and precise, more correct, and overall better in several things that I have been doing continuously/daily with the intent/purpose of becoming PERFECT or a master of it. So within this I have been experiencing some ego content based thoughts/backchat/words/phrases in relation to other people specifically and how they are. So I am flagging this point, and investigating it. So I would say that becoming better and doing more is a birthright. And that to feel good/god/ego because I am doing it in contrast to others, is delusional. I would actually do things on this starting point to prevent others to become as great as me. One thing that is interesting that I am noticing is that this has happened with only a few things, because I have had moments where I did fail completely, and so such thoughts are absent from this area.

Resentment
resentment that they did not show me this or teach me this.

Anger
anger that they are not doing the same with themselves, becoming better.

I have anger about how I am doing it and they aren't, and so there is resentment for that. And all of this would justify not showing them how. Commonsense is that if they knew how they would because it commonsense to do so, and if they don't do and still know, well that's just stupid, which is commonsense, and there also might be resistance to do such as thoughts and backchat, as was the case for me, so that is expected. So it takes time for people to get it. 

I realize that a starting point of this ego was frustration towards the situation that other people were not agreeing with me and seeing things from my perspective, even though I have been developing my perspectives and abilities to a noticeably higher extent than these people. So the lesson to learn is that even when you become better and more developed, this doesn't change other people, just yourself. So I am the one changing not them

What do I do?
Is there any problems?
Is there a way I can make them see things my way? I don't care. The truth is in front of his face. I can't make him or anyone see it. I just need to be honest myself, and just live.

Within letting go of anger, resentment and frustration, I feel peace. It is similar/the same as within letting go of nervousness and feeling afraid in relation self-worth. It is different in the sense that letting go of the anger, resentment and frustration, is more of a silence that occurs after a large amount of noise has stopped. Its like an enjoyment of the silence.

I notice that within these words I am standing completely independently of judgments of good/bad and morality, and essentially all exterior systems outside of myself. Within and as me, I am the law, I am the word, I am the authority, and creator/decider of my reality. I do have ultimate authority and say. This is quite the juxtaposition, because one would normally think, believe and associate power and ego, authority and ego as one, but they are not. It is in reverse. Ego is a victim. Ego is making yourself inferior, and justifying your way of life and action within a victimization, and inferiority, saying that you have no control or authority over anything, in an attempt to be not responsible. That is Ego. 

So it just so happens that in the real world, people with power actually make themselves to be, and believe themselves as victims as well. Everyone is doing this right now, aren't they? I guess the most pertinent question is whether you are doing it, right now?

So I stop the anger, resentment and frustration. I stop seeing myself as a victim for being in a situation where others around me don't agree or understand me, and I choose to make this reality my own.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that I have the responsibility to show to others the truth, no matter what I must do, and to feel frustrated, angry, and resentful is frankly a waste of my time and creation potential, to create the moment where people around me do hear and understand the truth/reality of themselves and this world as a whole.

I commit myself to do this, to create the moment for this to come to fruition, where each one by one understands the reality of things, which I will do by trial-and-error and learning from how others have done it, and trusting myself, my intuition, and just go for it!

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