The most important thing that I can offer existence is to show that its possible to live and exist without thought, emotion and feeling. To show what its like to no longer feel insulted, intimidated, scared, worried, love, hope, sadness, excitement. To show what it is like to smile for real, laugh real, spontaneously in the moment, unplanned.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Day 700 - A quiet space within me

This morning I found out something about the mind.... a memory from when I was told "Yogan, listen to me you don't know what you are doing" OMG I can't believe this...You are so weird and different.

So I did self-forgiveness on this moment/memory and the reactions... and I had a peace within me. A quietness. The reaction that was haunting me was held together by LOVE. I loved my friend, and he was the one that told me these words. So because of Love I listened to him and believed him. Because of love I validated his opinions and beliefs about me. And it stayed with me. Love is unnecessary. I realize that. Because you can hug a person, you can talk to a person, you can do anything with a person, and you don't need LOVE to enjoy them. Love is fear. Fear is love.

Test it out yourself, when you love someone, will you take in whatever they say about you? Don't you start to accept more shit, don't you FEAR to lose them? You do. That's the human nature or human mind. And I am changing that human nature and human mind within me. That's what's so extraordinary about self-forgiveness and the desteni process.

You don't need to fear to lose anyone. You don't need love. All you need to do is LIVE all the things you would normally live that are great about relationships: the playing, hugging, conversations, support, standing by, intimacy, showing up, helping, listening, sharing.... all of that has nothing to do with Love, it has to do with all of these others words... like depth, intimacy, caring, enjoying each other, stillness, depth, playfulness.

We THINK as humanity that Love is some ALL POWERFUL force that must encompass ALL GOOD feelings, everything GOOD in the world, that if you don't have LOVE then you can't enjoy, you can't feel anything, you can't have depth, intimacy, playfulness... BUT THAT"S NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its not true. That's a lie. Love is just one word, one expression. It is just one system. We can redefine love, sure we can. But as a system of Fear... love doesn't need to exist at all. As how it exists normally it can be removed. The love you see in stories, the love you feel when you start out in relationships, its something perverted. It is an accumulation of your hopes, dreams and desire for relationships. It is ego. It is FEAR.

And this morning I removed the point in this memory that has held by love. And now I have freedom from that burden of Love as Fear. I didn't want to lose my friend... I accepted their abusive words as true.

And I carried that within me this whole time. And the lesson is LOVE. That I can't let any Love within me to justify believing ANYTHING. Belief should never be based on someone else's opinion. And that is one area that Love corrupts and destroys so easily.

We DON"T need Love. We don't. Just remove it and you'll be good.

WHAT  we do need is Respect, Support, Care, Nurturing, Attention, Growth, Maturity, what is best for all. Anything that tolerates abuse MUST END.

Redefine love if you want. But never forget and never hide the truth of Love as a system, and what was allowed by and through love... which is the abuses of the world.

At least for me, it seems I can finally relax. At least for now. But its so sweet and so good. Finally.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow abusive words from another because they are my friend and I loved them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow to see myself as bad different or weird, because my friend called me that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that Loving your friend means letting them abuse you.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blindly trust a good feeling of love and ignore the reality right in front of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the true nature of LOVE, and all the abuse love has allowed to exist for all of Humanity, time and time again.


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