How did I direct myself from war to peace

How did I direct myself from war to peace- I sincerely wanted peace, but I at the time saw war as acceptable to bring it about. So really, how I got out of war, was by pushing it, and literally allowing myself to do what I saw as acceptable, because I really did see it acceptable to do war to make peace. So in whatever dimensions and manifestations that called for that, shouting, screaming, making derisive comments, I did it. Only by going through all of that, from where I am standing right now, it seems like divine intervention, like a fluke, one moment where one person said something and I took it to heart. Perhaps it was the very structure of the words she spoke. I don’t know. But really it seems that the intervention came from outside of me. So really, in essence, I did all that I could. I was sincere. And that allowed me to see. Otherwise I would have not seen, because I was too scared of making a mistake, to make one and learn from it. I embrace consequence now. And I also allow peoples words to go right through me, and anything real in their words stick, and everything not real, such as the war and anger I was in, doesn’t stick. Because now I recognize where people were just reacting, as I had, because its like seeing me again, the past Yogan, the war Yogan. So I can’t hold any resentment, because I have already forgiven Yogan, I have already forgiven myself, and so in essence I have already forgive any one else that would live that same thing, the War person.