“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Yogan's Guide to living a Good life 281


These are the four points that my mind tries its best to put pressure on me.
1. Sex
2. Money
3. Friendships
4. Relationships
Let's see who comes out on top.

For each I have my self stand. The following is where I stand with each:
1. With sex, I don't need it. I wouldn't compromise any other aspect of my life for sex. I would always choose something else over this, if it meant compromising myself. Sex is merely a pleasure point, and is a non-essential point. At the same time, sex is a tool, a way for me to explore my self-expression within a situation, which I have said, is non-essential. Therefore, in a way, it provides a space for seeing who I am, and practice self-movement. I wouldn't compromise myself whatsoever, in terms of getting a sexual partner, for the purpose of sex. I rather stick to masturbation, or sex with myself, because then there is no risk for such consequences as STD, as well as wasting my time with someone that is a waste of my time, and I would only be with them for the sex. That would be just stupid. Porn is also a waste of time for the same reason = no self-expression.

Now for those that think i support celibacy or masturbation, if I was in a situation where my needs were taken care of, and there is someone worthy of spending my time with, a female, and I had a normal amount of responsibility, then yes I would have sex, probably every other day. And if I was in some magical place where responsibility for other things weren't needed, meaning you just care for yourself, then yeah I would have more time and have sex way more. Why? Because its fun and enjoyable. Responsibility comes first, and enjoyment sexond (lol, typo).  Right now I am very good with masturbating with myself, through physical movement, creating an orgasm immediately, because I have done that for many years. It took practice, the same would be for sex, as well as anything else. The more time you give... you know the story. I would have to admit that not knowing exactly what another person is doing (while they touch you creating a pattern/rhythm of their own), is interesting. Yet I am also surprised at how good I got when being with myself alone. So you never know, the point is to not judge prematurely, but learn.

2. Money is only something I need, because I need food, water, etc... But really, I don't need money per se. I do need to have my needs met, which can be met in other ways, possibly. I also don't desire money. I don't want money. I would NEVER compromise myself for money. Myself is infinitely more valuable than money. That is why I would do things such as kill, murder, if it meant my survival. But I wouldn't sacrifice or kill for money. At the same time, I would sacrifice myself self, depending on what it is I am sacrificing for. You can already say what I am living right now, my decision, is a sacrifice of all the other possible routes and decisions I could have made. So money, can't continue how it is. It will change, and it will be through my effort, as a part of an entire movement to change it. Money won't represent survival, it can represent entertainment, that is fine, but anything related to survival, things that people will kill for, it won't represent. Those things will be given unconditionally. People wouldn't kill for a plasma TV. They will kill for Food. I am in no way defined by how much money I have.

Money isn't evil, nor the root of evil. That is just stupid to say or think. It's like talking to an inanimate object, "Hey! You're evil." While the person using the object for the alleged evil actions, gets away with it, lol. IF I HAD millions, right now, I would invest it right away in changing this world. There is NO POINT to holding money. If you have funds, invest it in the people that will change this world into best for all. Also, if I had millions, I would live VERY humbly, so that I can dedicate and focus all my time on making this world into what is best for all. Right now, what sucks is that I have to work to make a money, just so that in my free time I can invest in making this world into what is best for all. So remember, money is never the problem, is just not having enough of it, lol. If everyone had enough money, what would happen? Money is just paper. It's sad that we can't just see that, and realize that we are denying to people food, water, medicine, housing, education etc... Money is the perfect scape goat, the most innocent victim that we blame for everything, and hate, and react to. Money is paper. What has paper ever done to you? The truth is and always will be that the human done it. The humans are the ones that denied you. Partly because you haven't stood up and demand the right to life, to money, for yourself and everyone you know. Have you done that? And have you dedicate to making that a reality. If these words move you then donate to people that already have dedicated to do this, because you haven't made the commitment yet, they are the better investment. But if you decide to commit, then welcome to the family. http://livingincome.me/

3. I don't need any friends, and I don't want any friends. People can choose to talk to me. The same that I can choose to talk to other people. I am not defined by the number of friends I have. I am completely happy with myself alone. I don't need someone to make me feel better.

People are just people. People are not your emotions, or feelings. People are not your savior or anything. People cannot replace yourself. You can become God of this existence, and have EVERYONE follow you and become your absolute puppet, literally to the greatest degree. That they would do ANYTHING for you. They will tell you EXACTLY what you want to hear. Yet... you already know that is meaningless. Even if they were 300% sincere, and did so at their freewill. You would still feel empty...............empty...... because people cannot replace yourself. They can aid you in seeing and recognizing yourself, they can serve as mirrors that show to you, who you are, through example. They can give you hints, ideas, and small little openings into yourself. But you are the ONE that will walk through and to yourself, and standing within the position of self-support and self-responsibility, and self-forgiveness in your life. You are the ONLY ONE that can do that. So cherish yourself, respect yourself, CARE for you. And for god sakes, stop looking for yourself in relationships, friendships etc... It won't work. And if you want to die never knowing who you are, then be my guest. You have my permission, lol.

4. So for relationships, I refer to all human relationships, so familial relationships, coworkers, everyone. I only respect people for how much respect they have for Life. If they have no respect, then they are dead to me, because that means they literally have no value, worth, and not worth my consideration. So this nonsense, of certain people meaning more to me, because they are family, or because they know me for X number of years, is ridiculous. The only value that is exist, is the value you have. You determine your value, not me. And that value is the value you have for Life.

Everything you do, you DOooo to whooo? To youuuuu. Simple.

For the mind's point of view, just picture the opposite of what I said. So basically sex has value, money has value, friends have value, and all relationships of value, and this value is more than Life's value. So this is the lie that has been told for soooo long, that it is believed to be true.

It's so funny that the things that are made from Life, are separated within the mind levels. Meaning that you literally have Life all around you and literally your noses, not just in front of your nose, but your actual nose, yet you can't see it... And what is absolutely roll-licking, belly slapping funny, is that knowing this is not enough for you to see it. Isn't that hilarious? Even if you truly believed what I am telling you, you still won't see it. That is our situation. And it is quite dire. But funny. Because the only one that will make sure that you make it, can only be Who? You. Only you can show yourself the truth of who you are. And your greatest assets within all of this, you have had them since birth. The amazing Duo, that can never be beat. The two and only, Mind and Body. They have continuously, and endlessly been supporting you in both staying Alive, but also for the very purpose that you see and recognize who you are. Where someone could literally ask you, or even yourself, asking yourself, who am I? And you can answer that, with detail, with a history with an understanding and intimate knowledge of the inner workings of yourself, which even if I had access to who YOU are, and could write it down, it would fill novels. So, forget about the idea that I could even tell you or really even show you who you are. I can only share what I have learned, and then your on your own. You have been on your own this whole time, technically. No one has really ever helped you to see who you are, to question you, to provide some assistance, support, of at least pointing you to the right direction, or a good place to start. Nope. We don't talk about these things. Why? Lol, there isn't a good answer. But its frankly because everyone doesn't even know who they are. So, how can they even talk about something they have absolutely no idea about.

So, who are you? Remember this question, you'll need it eventually, when you are ready, 

http://desteni.org/

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Did you know this about your FOOD? 280

So, I'm not sure how many you are aware of what happening with the food production in the world. Though chances are that the majority of people in the world don't know this. But, I will bet a dollar that most of you have been told by a parent or adult growing up that you should finish all the food on your plate, because it would go to waste and that there are starving children in Africa. Am I right?

So here is something ironic. About 40% of food perfectly that is produced is wasted, and much of this happens before it even arrives in the household. While there may be some food wasted in the households, there is also a large amount that is thrown away at the supermarkets, and distribution centers. Take a look at this video if you don't believe me:

So this documentary goes into detail on the subject matter. I haven't seen this one yet, but I did see another food waste documentary 2 years ago called taste the waste.

So while parents are telling their children to not waste the food because there are starving children in Africa, more food than the families could ever eat is being thrown away. Now, I don't want to assume, but who here knows how supply/demand works? So if supply is high, prices drop. This means that the prices we pay at the supermarket world over, would be cheaper, if these perfectly edible food were sold at the market place. Not to mention the waste alone. Because if you think about it, food being grown and thrown away at such a massive scale of 40% is having a significant impact on so many different levels of the world, from the earth, to the environment, to people, to starvation, to animals, plants etc... There is meat that is thrown away, so the life of the animal is wasted. The same with the plants, perfectly good fruit and vegetable are thrown away, so the land, water, care, and time put into them is wasted.

Here is an idea, why not just make food a human right, because there is no good reason why we should keep on going this way. How could we have let this happen? It just doesn't make any sense.

Now, here I have an answer. One reason why food is thrown away, is because there are significant portions of the populations that do not have enough money to buy the foods on the shelf. You can only sell to those who have money to buy. So for this, I have a solution. We can make sure that every person has enough money to buy food by installing a Living Income, that would ensure each one has the funds for a dignified life, including access to food. Now for those that don't believe that there are people who can't afford food in your country, I am going to use my own as an example, United States:

Visit Living Income, Investigate it, and consider becoming a leader for your City/State/Country, or donate. http://livingincome.me/







Monday, May 25, 2015

Milgram's Experiment 279


What can we learn from Milgram's experiment?
The first and most obvious point is that when people/humans are pressured by their environment, they will do that which they swore they would never do in God's name. So, this reveals that human nature is suppressed, regulated and controlled through the environment. So this is what Milgram's experiment showed. This knowledge and information can be used for many purposes. It can be used to control humanity. It can be used to support humanity as well. Because what is one thing we all want to avoid happening? We would all like to not have the true human nature be expressed in the real world. Because imagine, a world where there is not enough money to buy food in the stores, water, housing. Imagine the economy collapsing. Humans would become violent, they would kill, murder, and steal to survive. We ALL do not want that to happen. But it will happen, it is inevitable as long as we continue on the road that we are on now. Because as long as the life essentials are not guaranteed, life is not guaranteed. Meaning that your life, and the lives around you are at risk as long as you have something that another person NEEDS, which includes water, food, housing to just name a few. The BEST way to ensure the protection and security of you and your loved ones, is to make sure that all families, and people have a guaranteed acquisition of the life essentials, because then they would never have a lack, and therefore a need to take your life essentials. And they will take it, when they need it. As long as life is not guaranteed for each one, you are not safe. And in case you haven't noticed, the number of people in poverty vastly outnumber the wealthy. And remember, if you are reading this, you have wealth, because to have access to internet, means that you have access to food, water, and shelter. So they will come for you. A disaster is approaching us on a scale that will make all the wars on this earth seem puny in comparison. This will be the real World War 3. But there is still time to stop it. Investigate Living Income, if you care for your children their future. We all know what human nature is capable of. Let's not turn a blind eye to the obvious. Give to others what you would like to receive. If you don't... then you will receive the same... an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. The ultimate equality is coming for us. There is only one smart choice, don't be stupid. Guarantee that everyone has access to the Money, and so the security of Life, and you might just prevent a catastrophe in your life.   


Friday, May 22, 2015

Blame Game! Are you ready for level 2? Games for life! 278

Let's play a game.

I challenge you to not have any blame. So list everyone that you blame. Here is a generic list.

1. Politicians
2. Government
3. Corporations
4. Millionairs/Billionaires
5. Ceos
6. Society
7. Teachers
8. Parents
9. Siblings
10. Authority


So Mark off everyone that you blame. With this list, stop the blame. For each person, look at what you are blaming this person/people for, and see how you could change/act that would support the outcome that your prefer. To stop the blame, simply focus on yourself and acting in the way that will create what you want. So the trick to stopping blame is to take more responsibility.


Okay, so are you ready for level 2?

Level 2 is taking it to the next level. It is to see whether you will change when things change around you. So you have to be able to stay the same, be the same person even when things around you become extreme. So in your mind, imagine extreme situations, and challenge yourself to stay the same. Assuming that you stand by principles, challenge your principles in your mind. Here is a generic list of principles.

1. Self-respect
2. Self-support/Self-care
3. Self-Honesty
4. Self-responsibility
5. Self-Authority
6. Self-forgiveness
7. Self-Correction

So for each principles challenge yourself and see where you fall, in what imaginary situation would you NOT stick to a principle. So for example, where/what situation will you not have self-respect, where you will not support yourself, where you will not take responsibility for yourself, where/when you won't forgive yourself, where/when you won't take authority over yourself, etc...
Wherever you see that you won't stand by a principle, make the decision to stand and make that as who you are.

For a practical course in developing your principles, and learning about who you are, your past, history, and mind patterns, see lite.desteniiprocess.com
 

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

First Crushes 277


So we are going wayyyyyy Back in Time. 

Welcome to the past. Here I am where my first crushes were present. So my earliest relationship with the opposite sex, girls, I see as significant, now that I have made a major breakthrough in seeing my pattern of reacting to women in detail. So I see then that my first relations with women, defined how I responded/reacted to all women. That is quite significant, the fact that my first initial relations with women defined how I responded, felt, and what I thought when meeting all of these future women. That is what I can see now.

This reveals how everything we live: think, feel, react, doesn't just go away by itself. It stays with us. Until, we actually in awareness take responsibility for that, and release it and change. See, I was aware that my relationship to women was not self-supportive. I knew that. But, I wasn't aware of the detail of it, how I felt, what I thought, in moment to moment playout. I had to be aware of what it is, and how I actually am, and what I am doing in detail, from one step to the next. And I had to forgive each step. Simply being aware that I feel bad, and that I am reacting to women, isn't enough, but it is the first step. The second step is finding out what I am feeling and how I am reacting.

So now, in the past, I see it as significant that for children, for the future, that it is walked with awareness, how you react, stays with you, and becomes you, unless you direct yourself from the get go. I see it as being a necessary and inevitable process that we walk with children to, for example, decide who they are in relation to the opposite sex, and what they will accept and allow of their expression and being, and what not. Because otherwise we are leaving the lives of people/children up to chance/gamble.

Imagine what it would be like to be absolutely clear, sure, and knowing who you are as a decision in awareness in relation to the opposite sex, that is a stance that is best for you, which you accept nothing less than that, and having that stance since the beginning, when you were a child. How your life would have been different, no?

It seems we today, avoid such topics with our children, until they already form their patterns. Then we just accept their patterns as who they are, as their individuality and uniqueness, and what makes them them. When we know, in the back of our minds, that there is something wrong with this picture. Shouldn't we be taking responsibility and actively supporting our children to develop and decide who they are, in a way that is best for them?

The problem starts within how we ourselves as people haven't seen our own patterns, and if we haven't supported ourselves yet, how can we expect to support others in walking the same process we haven't yet walked.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Self-support on self-judgment 276





For this moment, I am looking at self-judgment within me. I had a listen to the above interview on self-judgments and how to overcome it. I suggest listening to this interview for those who are interested in overcoming self-judgments, because in my blog, I will be only walking my own self-judgments, I won't be providing guidance in how to walk through it, and if you are looking for guidance in walking self-judgments, I suggest listening to this interview. 


So I have been looking at this point, and it is a notable theme throughout my past week and the points I worked with. So it does seem subtle, and now I have a self-judgment.  When looking inside now, this is what I see

Layer 1: Nervousness.
So first, I feel nervous, in response to looking at me, and at this point. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous, in reaction to looking at my self-judgment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous in reaction to following what I like to do or what I would like to do.

Layer 2: Judging myself as selfish for following what I like to do, and would like to do.
So I see things I would like to do, that I am excited about, and I am reacting to seeing them.  
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as selfish for following what I like to do and pursuing what I would like to do. 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge someone as selfish for following what they would/do like to do.

Layer 3: Pity
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel and have pity for myself when I see that I haven't been following what I want, sometimes.

Layer 4: Aggression
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel rage, and react with aggression when I see that I haven't been following what I would like to do due to reacting within self-judgment.


When and as I see myself reacting when I am following in living application, what I like to do, or would like to do - I stop and I breathe-  I realize that I must follow my living application in living who I really am as a being, instead of being in reaction and judgment and so not actually living out what I would like to do. 
Thus I commit myself to stick to what I am living/doing that is aligned with me, what I like to do and would like to do.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Getting to know myself, what does this mean? 275

So what does this mean? For me it means to see my patterns that I don't see as patterns.

Here is an example for demonstrative purposes. One pattern is that I suppress a lot of what I feel. So why is it useful for me to see my pattern? Because, when I see that I just felt something, and then I am immediately feeling something else, then I might be acting within this pattern. And so my question to myself is, what was I feeling just before, and why was I feeling that?

So when I ask that question, I look for the answer, and I learn what I was feeling before, why I felt that, and that I was reacting to what I felt. So I forgive reacting to what I felt, because I don't want to be separate from parts of myself.

From doing that, I understand who I am in this moment, and so I can direct myself.


Saturday, May 16, 2015

Equalifying Equality 274


So today's post will be about a mistake I have made within approaching equality. This is a recurring mistake because the source of it is embedded deep within my behavioral habits from this life. And I write this blog because it has come up again when looking at one of points regarding how I have acted in this life, and within correcting that action to something that is best for me. So I figure that some other people could be making the same mistake, so I figure that this will be a cool reminder for everyone. And I do have quite a bit of experience with this point. So,

So qualifying what is equality. So equality means not only what is best for everyone else, but also best for you. I see this mistake where I mistake doing what is best for everyone and equality means placing what is best for everyone else first, occurring in my life because of what was present in my environment growing up. In my environment there were values present and judgments on things that were called evil. So the values were to be the best that you can be, and the judgments were not to be selfish. So in combination this meant that you be the best you can be, but not for yourself, because that would be selfish, but instead you be the best you can be for others. So this paragraph sums up my living for many years in this life.

I see this way of living present in other people that have lived lives surrounding religions, or spirituality, where especially they espoused serviced as a highly valued quality of a person. People in these situations tend to follow what I did, putting others first before themselves. The consequences for this can be various things, but speaking how this has affected me, includes picking to hangout with people and romantic partners, not for our compatibility or how well we fit with each other, but despite our incompatibilities, because we are such nice people. I notice that there was an element of victimization and pity within this, because someone had to be the charity case, as they say. So these relationships then become a service, instead of being what is best for both people, which is what would equality in fact, and best for all. So there is a ruse or deception in today's notion of service, spirituality, religion, the good, etc... And of course it becomes a self-deception in the end, serving our personality or self-belief, self-definitions of who we are on a mind level.

In regards to the relationship point, a correction could be to pick people to hangout with and romantic partners, that are compatible with you, instead of picking them despite of how incompatible they are. The relationship hangouts on the DIP Youtube channel is a good resource for understanding this. Personally I don't have much experience to advise people on the correction, I am still busy implementing it for me. But that is why i share this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5ovrWHbK04&list=PLhK5hjhxQt6Ir7UJG3sdH4J9gXT8JnhbE&index=7


Friday, May 15, 2015

Self-Honesty: The Depthness of Self within Communicating with words. 273



So today I am reflecting on this world self-honesty. Now when I learned of this word self-honesty, meaning being honest with yourself, I made a note to myself to focus on the word. Why? Because if I am honest about what is going on with me and what is going on in the moment right now, then I have what I need to be me, to be real, to create my life. So I notice this particularly revealing itself in self-questioning. So when I ask myself questions.

When I ask myself a question about what I am going through, or why I am doing something, there is already present a knowing that something is wrong/off. So this honesty, together with asking the right questions, which is also part of the honesty, makes for a really good pair/couple. The couple of honesty and questions. So just to play with this image...

Imagine their is a couple, honesty and question. Whenever a question is asked, the answer is an honest one. That is ideal isn't it. Ideally everyone would be honest in every moment. I can't say if that is best for a person to live right now, but I know that that is the kind of world we should or have to make. Because I want to live in such a world where I can be honest when answering a question. Now, honesty depends or have levels. You can being lying with the truth. So that's what's cool about real honesty, it is not defined so absolutely by rules and information. The honesty, the real honesty, is tied completely to the person. The same with the question, questions are completely tied to the person as well, and can vary in the quality, depth, and realness of the question.

So words have a depth to them, or at least they can, when we live that depth within ourselves. If you have lived this for yourself then you know what I am talking about. So self-honesty, depends on the depth of self that someone has developed. And I would go as far to say that every word is dependent on the person speaking it. There is a connection between each spoken/written word and the person. And that word carries that depth of the person. So be careful what you say!, lol. I don't mean to scare anyone, but there is that fear there isn't there? That when you speak or say something that you completely define yourself, and there is that fear that you do not have control of what you say because circumstance and pushing you to speak/say a certain way. Within this I observe the following.

That the depth of who you are is what is communicated through words, and that even though what you say may be determined by the situation, such as at work, talking with customers, the circumstance doesn't have to completely define who you are, because your depth can be present, if who you are is here while speaking from that depth, even though the words may be chosen for the context of Customer Service, for example. I have been observing that within talking to some Customer Service people recently. We tend to give words/labels and believe that we can categorize and understand what someone is doing/right wrong at their job based on what we hear, BUT if we are missing this dimension I am opening up on the depthness of self that is communicated through words, then we are missing the whole picture and understanding about how we actually communicate and what we actually hear when someone speaks.

If people understood this, then would people then focus their time and attention on developing themselves first? Before money, before anything else? That their life needs to revolve around developing their depth as a person, by connecting to themselves. This is not something money can buy. Who you are is something you make. And who you are determines what you do. So, this is the priority, clearly. But many are doing this, really? But just imagine a person that is that and develops that. I sure want to be that.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Relationships with people: Letting go of responsibility that was never mine. 272

Too Many Eyes: Looking into Other people's business

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my history of relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as bad now, for who I was in my past relationships with women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attack myself within attacking my past history of relationships, and for attacking all relationships, because I am attacking my past history of relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when looking at who I was in my past relationships, instead of applying forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger for not being the good guy that I saw myself as, within my past relationships with women, by being what is best for me and the other person, and so best for both of us.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for both of us, in my past relationships, me and the other person, instead of taking responsibility for me, who I am, what I do and decide.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to be responsible for what my partner does, who she is, what she decides.

When and as I see myself trying to take responsibility for another person, a partner, what she or he does - I stop and I breathe - I realize that I cannot take the responsibility for another person, that at most I can assist and support them in their taking of responsibility for themselves, which is part of my responsibility as that involves me, what I can do, and what I have a say in, but to clarify, I cannot assist someone that doesn't want assistance directly, for all assistance is self-assistance in the end as a stance one takes - I realize that I need to let go of other people in what is best for them, because that is something each person needs to live for themselves, with themselves in doing what is best for them. This is something I cannot live for another, no matter how much I may try or want it -

Thus I commit myself to take responsibility for me, in who I am, and not in who the other person is, including my past, so who I was, and who another person was, and the future including who I am, and who another person will be.  


Monday, May 11, 2015

Calming Energy 271


So today, I woke up tired. This meant that I continued in bed for a while. I was really looking at this point. I notice that my face was rather pale, meaning that there wasn't a lot of blood  circulation, thus why my face looked more white/pale. And I was just being aware of the whole tired experience. So I know I had things to do, I had to leave the house for some errands. I was going with someone else, and while I was waiting for them to get ready, I had time to reflect and investigate on what this is. So I considered the possibilities, the first is that there is something wrong with my body, that it needs something, or it has some problem that needs fixing, for that I have to see the doctor and measure blood, which is what I plan to do. But in knowing what I know, and seeing what I have seen, it is possible that this can have something to do with my mind and some pattern or system that is activated. So in that I did see something, and as I looked throughout my body, I did feel something that was an energy and that was present throughout my body so from my toes to my arms/fingers. So I just focused on that and I would like to share some of what I found.

So while I was on the couch waiting for the other person to get ready, I was looking and trying to find out what this energy is, where it comes from, and why is it here. So, first I looked at it and tried to see if I can name it. At first no apparent name/word came up. As I focused on my body, the overall expression, movement, as a reaction of the body was that being sleepy or tired. My eyes wanted to close, like heavy closed, all the way. and my Head wanted to just tilt forward. So I tried tired as the name for the energy. I saw that it was not quite the experience I had, close, but not it. So i went through some similar words and the word calm fit. Calm energy, so that was it I saw. It was like really calm, like calm in absolute. From there and having identified the energy some very clear memories came up as I was looking in how I have lived and experience this same energy. Each memory I saw, there were 3, represented a different situation or association that I have given to this energy experience, and word calm. I also asked myself, why this energy existed and so how have I used this energy in the past, purposefully, and to do what? So immediately I saw just a general pattern where I enter into sleepy state, calm energy, when trying to avoid what is here, and in trying to get to a future moment. So in having these 4 point in total, I felt, YES I have got all the points. And so I did self-forgiveness. Now, I knew that the energy will still come up throughout my day and life in general and the temptation as well, and that is when I have to stand and say no, and simply not participate in it. And I also did a self-correction, because what I realized that was misaligned here was the expression as calm as rest was not effective, and has been channeled through the mind as the calm energy. So my correction included making a decision on when I am On/Off, similar to a light switch, where I am completely resting or I am completely awake/here and activated for movement. Because what I realized too is that the calming energy wasn't really a calm or restful state, because energy was moving within me. And that is what I was in this morning and so last night when I went to bed. You can imagine how much rest I got while in an energetic state, even that which is the calm energy. So that is why I need to direct and decide when I awake and when I sleep. Otherwise it is just all in the air, and undefined. I don't see it as relevant in sharing the other dimensions and associations of the calm energy, because it really is just a personal point. However if you are experiencing something similar, I suggest to investigate yourself and develop that self-questioning, because the answers are within you. I am still going to the doctors btw, because it is possible that the body has been conditioned to this experience for so long that I may need some more support for the body.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

The Non-emotional, and DUTY Personality 270


So today, I am looking at how I present myself in the system as my preprogramming. So the question is how do I present myself in the system, by default?
So I had a telephone conversation just now. I had called to set up a doctors appointment. I notice how I spoke by default, because I was seeing how I could express myself. So within this process of expressing myself, I will be facing my preprogramming in how I expressed myself for much of my life. I can say I have a familiarity with this, yet at the same time I do not intimately know it. This is why I am writing this blog right now.

So I present myself as someone "professional." For me this means being very collected, non-emotional, straight to the point. Also "on the job." If you ever worked with me on  project you would see this clearly about me. I am focused on the work that needs to get done, and this is how I become. So how did I develop this personality or presentation of myself?

Through school projects mostly, and studying, doing homework, and taking tests. I found that I did better when I was non-emotional, focused on the job, and straight to the point. I have one clear memory that shows the contrast of my personality with other students. Basically they spent time making jokes, conversing about other subjects, while we had our project to do. I notice that I reacted in that moment with indignation, and contempt, and a jealousy. I wished I could be like them, but I saw that I had to do the work, so I didn't have a choice from my perspective.

Something funny about things now, is that now that I am involved in my own independent business, I actually need to be like how these other students were. To be able to joke around, talk about other things. So be expressive, and enjoying myself and with others.

This word expressive reminds me of something I would do in the car on the way to school. My mom and I would say prayers out loud. This included praying for a good day, good tests, good teachers, and at my request for me, good self-expression. So I was aware that I wasn't expressing myself. And from my point of view, I didn't have a choice in terms of how I approached school work, studies. My personality in school, was the same. I was focused, unemotional, straight to the point. So I sat in class quiet, paying attention to the teacher. I would focus.

I remember now the times I would daydream in class, and how from sometimes thinking and being distracted, I had some poor grades/marks on a class or assignment, so I took these results emotionally. I remembering crying in some cases where I received the worst grades.

My perception throughout the choices I made, and how I lived was that I didn't have a choice. Within this statement of myself, I feel worthless and powerless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel worthless and powerless within the statement that I didn't have a choice.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live the statement, I don't have, and didn't have a choice.

So I see clearly that, I always had the choice and potential to express myself, and that I didn't have to take on this non-emotional personality in order to do the work and assignments.

When and as I see myself- thinking now, that I don't have a choice, and feel powerless and worthless, in regards to some project, task, assignment, or work, including business - I stop and I breathe - I realize that this thought that I don't have a choice is a lie, and this feeling of powerlessness and worthlessness is a lie too- I realize that I always have the choice and potential to express myself, because I always have this choice/potential of creating myself and deciding who I am in the moment here-
I commit myself to be me, express me in the moment, as what I decide, as my direction of myself, based on what I see, and assess of the moment, the people, the situation, the history, and relationships.

There is a second dimension opening up.
DUTY
The personality I am looking at today, could be called the Duty personality. Duty is like a glue that is holding the personality together. Duty had an appeal to me, energetically. I feel stronger, and right.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel right and strong as energy within me in regards to living this non-emotional personality as my "duty," when it comes to work, assignments, tasks, and projects.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust a feeling that says I am right.

When and as I see myself feeling right or strong when it comes to whether i live a certain way, or do a certain thing, such as taking on a personality when it comes to work, tasks, projects - I stop and I breathe - I realize that I cannot trust something within me that is a feeling that says I am right about something - I realize that I cannot trust a feeling that says I am strong, and by that strength I have the right to assert my authority onto myself or another, when it comes to who i am, and what to do- I realize that a feeling of rightness or righteousness that justifies me taking on a personality, is questionable, and not-trustworthy - I realize that who I really am, my beingness, would not attack myself or another in who we are, what we live or decision I make, therefore the rightness and strength are lies and illusions for furthering the mind or consciousness as the personalities.

Thus I commit myself to be humble, be ME as the humility, and not the righteousness, and that I move gently and honestly within myself in being that which is best for all in the moment, instead of furthering the mind or consciousness as the non-emotional personality, when it comes to work, projects, tasks, and business.  



Monday, May 4, 2015

The Right/Wrong Headphones 269


Continuing from yesterday.
Right/wrong.
So like good and bad, right/wrong are two words. They are two words meaning the same point as good/bad. They are not aligned to what is best for all. Right is aligned to ego, self-interest, belief as well as what is good. Wrong is linked to inferiority, bad, as well as ego, self-interest and self-definition. They are not part of the assessing processing and determination that is essential to what is best for all, and like good/bad they are one dimensional, and simply a category or label, lived within emotions or feeling. 
In a world that is best for all, there is no use for "right " "wrong." There is just that which is best for all, and that which needs to be aligned to what is best for all. If you are staying within a thought or definition of "I am right" or "I am wrong," then you have a mental illness or disorder. This would require realignment to a healthy state of mind, which would be living what is best for all. Only egos say I am right, I am wrong. For ego, that is entertaining. 
From a young age we are told "That's right!" or "that's wrong." What a waste, really. Instead we could have said an alignment of information is required, and shown how and it what way. But that would be wayyyy to educated for our children? Oh boy, what a world. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say, believe, think, judge, what is best for all is right, and so within that take action, as an energetic possession and experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to say, think, believe, judge, within energy, doing what is not best for all is wrong, and so take action, and move myself in that possessed state.
When and as I see myself acting within thinking, saying or speaking that this is right or wrong, I stop and I breathe – I realize that what is right and wrong only serves ego, self-definition, and belief system, and is not part of living what is best for all- I realize that right is used to make oneself feel better, and wrong is used to make oneself feel worse, and so right/wrong changes how you feel about a situation primarily, and so about yourself –
Thus I commit myself to when I see myself acting, thinking, saying, within a starting point that something is right/wrong, I stop and I breathe- I stabilize myself and I let go of the experience/energy. I then align myself to the practical process of contributing to what is best for all, and valuing and determining the factors and variable of the situation that are part of what is best for all, and make the decision that contributes to what is best for all. 

Sunday, May 3, 2015

My Good/Bad Colored Glasses 268



My living definition for enjoying doing some work/task/project is morality oriented, meaning if I think, believe, perceive that I am a good person for doing this work/task/project, I enjoy myself doing that project, and I do it willingly, and so relatively well.  Furthermore, whether I believe some task/work/project will indicate that I am good/bad, it will depend on what someone has said about that task/work/project, or has given sufficient information where in my mind I will construct that belief. It is like my mind is built to search out in the world and determine what are the good actions, and what are the bad actions, and to act what is good, and the method is what I describe, through seeing what is defined as good by what is already here in this world, including then the people that are alive in this moment.
Can I honestly trust anyone to be able to give me the information on what to do?
No.
Because of the condition of the world right now, and how everyone is contributing to the world right now, and that people keep secrets.
If I did have access to all of a person, completely, and could see whether they were keeping anything secret, then yes I could utilize the information and test it out, with more confidence, because then I would have a greater understanding of where they are coming from.
But this depends on the other person atm. I could, ask a person questions, to assist them to open up, though I know I can only go so far, but it is better than otherwise.
I at the very least can be that person that opens up completely for other people, because I see that people will recognize such a movement.
As for me, in how I work with people of today, I cannot trust what people say, unless it is a special case/situation, which I described above, which really would be a really rare circumstance. For the most part, I will take someone says, apply it to what I have already tested and proven for myself, and if it doesn’t fit, to throw it away if I am confident in what I have already tested. If it does fit, and it does offer something new, I am going to have to go out by myself and test it. People atm, keep too many secrets, and their minds distort information to serve their self-interest/ego, so I cannot take anything at face value, without assessing and then testing. Atm, I can only truly trust myself. And maybe, later on, as people start developing integrity, honesty, where there are less and less secrets, we will see if trust can exist. But that is a long way off from today.
So the point here is that my morality system is not effective for anyone because the information to be found today is tainted, distorted, and cannot be accepted at face value. We need instead, a testing system, or assessing system, where I test and assess information according to what is best for everyone. It will probably be testing of probabilities, or of varying values, because multiple factors will be involved, and they can have side effects as well. So it’s no longer, black and white, but multicolored. So I will be assigning values to different points, with varying kinds of values, in line with how they contribute to what is best for all. In how the value system will work, the value of bad will not exist. It is either something that contributes to what is best for all, or it doesn’t. So either a presence or absence. Therefore, either relevant or irrelevant/negligible. So this is a different value system than morality of good/bad. This difference is important because good/bad are defined as energy and so have become a physical energetic experience, of 2 distinct experiences. What is best for all, does not constitute of any energy or any physical energetic experiences. And even if it were, it wouldn’t consist of 2, but 1. Because what is irrelevant or not what is best for all, is simply that. So the focus in the best for all system of values, is only what is best for all. The focus is not on what is NOT best for all. That is only a waste and indicates an ineffective system. This calls into question as well the morality system, as a system of producing what is good, because the focus of the morality system includes focusing on what is bad. One has to wonder at this point, how the word bad was created, and for what purpose. Because in a world where good was only focused on, then we would simply say what is good and what is not good. But that is not the world we live in today.
Even then, the word good is moot. It is like half a cheer. In comparison to what is best for all, best for all is like a tidal wave cheer at the height of the voice. So this too indicates that the morality system is ineffective, as it is based on producing substandard results, and not the BEST. One has to wonder why we have in place such an ineffective standard of living for so many people, which is visible in our physical living standards on Earth. What is best for all is what is best for all. Do you want what is best for all?
Energy works in polarity in a constant fighting of two forces, in contrast to one another. One doesn’t want what is best for all, one lives it. You live what is best for all. Simply wanting what is best for all, indicates a fighting, friction, making a statement that what is best for all must arrive to me in the future. Instead of living it here. There is also no bad in not living what is best for all. You either live it or you don’t.
In me I have to stop the morality energetic experiences of bad/good. Because otherwise it will continue to exist and transfer into and mess with me living what is best for all. This includes judging other people as bad, for not living what is best for all. And also judging other people as good for living what is best for all. I have to remove all glasses that view the world as bad/good, and simply see what I described here, what contributes to what is best for all, and what simply doesn’t and so is irrelevant. That’s it!
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see, perceive, believe, that everything and everyone fits in either the category of being good or in the category of being bad, and that this includes me as well, where I am either good or bad depending on what I am doing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place the category of good on what is best for all, and the category of bad on what is not best for all, instead of what is best for all standing within it’s own words as what is best for all, and not what is best for all standing within its words as what is not best for all, and so a absence, or irrelevance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live energetic physical experiences of being good, being bad, and thinking/believing that someone/something is good or bad.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become energetic and hostile towards that, which in my mind I have labeled as being bad.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become energetic and loving towards that, which in my mind I have labeled as good.
When and as I see any movement of perception or thought or feeling/emotion that something or someone is good or bad, including myself – I stop and I breathe- I refocus myself here, and I empty out and/or forgive the energetic experience. – I realize that I have lived good/bad perception for most of my life, and that it is a deeply ingrained pattern within me, therefore I do require to be absolute to not participate in the energetic experience and system as a whole – I realize that this system has been causing major troubles for me in this life – I realize that this system really does and will change my perception of everything, if I accept and allow myself to participate within it – I realize that I have justifications and excuses, such as :”this is how it is, good or bad,” “this is obviously good/bad,” “why don’t other people see that this is good/bad,” “am I the only one that sees this as good/bad?” – I realize that by aligning myself to simultaneously live what is best for all, as my new way of living, will assist and support, as it is the most effective system for living, since it is what is best for all.
Thus, I commit myself to be attentive, focused, patient, and walk this journey like a marathon, not a sprint contest, because it will take a large amount of time for me to walk through the various moments and triggers which I have accustomed myself to react to and see with the good/bad colored glasses. I need to be diligent, and simply work with the one point that arises in this moment.  Eventually, through time, I will walk through this system.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Existential Fear - Complete and utter Failure 267


So an existential fear activated within me, as part of a larger playout in my day. This fear is about failure. However it is the ultimate failure. So its the fear of me, completely absolutely failing. To what degree? The absolute degree. So meaning, that I have no effect at all on this reality. No success, none. That I die, basically, without accomplishing anything, and making things better as part of what is best for all. So it could involve me imagining that I die, tomorrow, or in a few years, and the decisions I am making now, were the wrong decisions. Do you have a reference for this fear?

So in looking at this, one self-honesty point was immediately apparent. And that is I have already have had an effect on this reality and within alignment ot what is best for all. So that was a misconception of the fear, or shall I say a distortion of reality or the truth. Now here comes the other part, which may not seem so pleasant. With the future, and with making decisions, yes it is possible that in the absolute degree, some decision or project comes to nothing. That can happen, and yes I can die and that was it for this one life. But in being honest here, within me taking on that project and walking it, and failing, that can be of assistance and support to others. It can be a lesson in to not do what I did, and try another project for example. It can also be that to approach the same project but in a different way. So even then, in the actual manifestation, of absolute failure, it is not for nothing, and the act of taking on the project, and most importantly sharing with others how I took on the project and what I did, so that my failures and experiences can support others, is a victory in itself, granted that I take the project in this manner. However, if I were to take on the project alone, and fail alone without sharing, that would be worse. I mean even then, the chance of actually of succeeding is possible.

So when is this fear activated within us? I see in dealing with making life decisions, that place you life in certain projects/careers, and so generally in matters that involve the Future. How many of us Hate such moments, of having to make a decision, and all of the stress involved? It's quite stressful isn't it? Soooooooo, what if it didn't have to be. I can tell you right now, in simply sharing what I worked with thus far with this point, and the design of it in my experience online in this blog with you, it's already much less stressful. So I am actually following my own realizations here, in real time, haha, which is quite a useful piece of advice I would say.

Another important aspect that I realized, and which is a quite obvious one, but something still valuable to pay attention to, is that in life we don't have do overs. In video games, in stories, in movies, essentially the realm of fantasy, there are do overs. In life, you only have on life, and this one moment and chance. That is just how things are. In this one life, it is possible to take something to the absolute degree, fail at it, and so continue on with your life in doing something else. That is possible. You also might die in any day or moment, that is also the reality of the situation. So, yes, this is the rules of the game. So absolute failure, doesn't warrant fear. Absolute failure meant that you tried absolute with this one absolute life you had, and that is it. End of the story. And may that be of use in the success of others, and so the overall success in victory of manifesting a world that is best for all. Now I know I don't fear a world that is best for all, and so if my potential absolute failure serves that future, well that isn't so bad after all? And guess what? that would permanent. So just like how I was saying that there are no doovers, the effects we have on existence are permanent ones, and others cannot remove them. So that's the "positive side," lol. It's just the rules of the game.

So is there such a thing as complete and utter failure that is outside of my control? No. I could, create an utter failure, yes by from this point on, doing nothing at all, and having no effect. Yes but that would be by my own doing. You see, the design of the existential fear involves something or someone else controlling me, and creating the outcome, so let's say a meteor falling from the sky and killing me. But as I have shown, in me living and applying myself and actually trying to create a world that is best for all, with that purpose/goal in mind, then that effect I will have is guaranteed. So that is in my control. Whether on the surface layer, I am the one that will be spearheading the direct changes in reality, that may not be so. But at the very least, in would be having my effect on the background and so supporting those other people to spearhead with the direct changes. Thus I would have an indirect effect, meaning supporting the direct effect.

So as long as I document what I am doing, share what I am doing, in my blog, I will be leaving a record of what I did. Now, for me to completely let this go, I will need to do a sounding of self-forgiveness at the very least. More may be required afterwards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow fear to distort my perception of my effects on reality, by confusing the direct/surface and indirect/hidden effects, as one being more important/valid than the other, when in fact they are equally necessary as part of the entire process of change we are walking as humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being the one that fails on the surface layer, and fail to realize that it is victory to take on a project to the absolute degree where it fails so that it will serve others in finding better or other ways to achieve, and so realizing and understanding that the overall effect and process of change within the principle of what is best for all is happening on a much larger scale than my individual personal, on the surface layer, successes, and that my failures and trying/effort actually does serve this overall existential process of change as humanity and thus this existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be blurred and blinded by this fear that I do not see the past I have lived and how I have already contributed to this process, and thus polarize the future and past, wherein I fear the future that I could have created but failed to create, and value that as more than what I have already created, instead of each being equal, one, and unique in what they represent, as equal parts of the accumulated effects that move this entire existential process of change forward.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value in, and thus justify the existential fear of absolute and utter failure, in the opinions of other people in what I imagine in my mind people are going to say and think, on my deathbed or at my tombstone in how I didn't achieve or accomplish anything in this life, and that my life was a waste of talent, ability, and potential, instead of sticking to the reality of this existential process, which is much larger and deeper than what is on the surface, which is where we tend to only form our opinions and judgments, using just the surface perception and information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access the, what could have happen fear, in fearing making the wrong life decisions, and so missing out on a different life that I could have lived, instead of simply staying here in the actually reality of the situation, that is the rules of the game, which is I have one life to live, and that I can't do things over, and the effects I have will be permanent, and so whatever choice I make, within the starting point of what is best for all, will by default, have an effect on reality that is best for all.

When and as I see myself accessing the existential fear, of completely absolutely failing a project, despite having placed my absolute best efforts- I stop and I breathe - I realize that this failure is only within one dimension, and that is within the surface layer. However, on the deeper layers, my effort was a victory as it contributes to other people's processes in the overall existential process which is happening on a much larger scale, which I contribute to based on what my starting point is, and so as long as I stick to doing what is best for all and working with the rules of the game and how this reality exists as, then I will guaranteed success in contributing to the eventual manifestation of a world that is in fact best for all.

Thus I commit myself to share, and be interconnected to as much as possible to the processes of people everywhere, through blogging, talking, and sharing my experiences, what I learning, and essentially everything, and so including not only online, but in the flesh people as well, so that they may take something from me that will assist and support them to be the actual manifested point that brings about the change to the surface layers of reality.

- I am thus, in this for the long haul, lol.