“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Thursday, July 9, 2015

My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 4



Previous Posts:
My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 1
My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 2
My relationship to myself. Origin Story Part 3

So I do believe that I have now seen the source or core of this massive point. But I won't know it until I walk it real time here in writing. So basically what I see is a complex point. This view or understanding of it as complex is probably why it is such a influential point. So let's see if we can simplify things for ourselves. We will start by describing the situation.

So you know when you say something and someone get's upset, angry or emotional? So was this because of you or them? What's your final answer? So right now I can tell you that you can't give me an answer, and if you believe that you had an answer, then I say to take a good look because this the complexity I was speaking of. So basically without further information, you can't know whether it was because of you or them. I mean, honestly anything that involves two people, creates results that involved two people. So you can honestly say it is both. BUT, that's not what is spoken of or meant within the words "was this because of you or them."

So this may or may not be an obvious point to you, that when someone gets upset or emotional such as angry, there is somewhere a point of blame. So when someone gets angry or emotional in our environment, because we know that blame is such a core to the emotion, that we take a look at what the "source" of the anger is. And sometimes we fear that it is us, that we are the source. Okay so this should be a confusing situation to you, if it is not then wow you understand much about how we work. But for those of us who are confused, then what needs to be understood is the word reaction. What does reaction mean?

When a person reacts it means that there is something that they are reacting to. So in the presence of this A or when this happens A, then I will behave, think, move, feel like B. So in reality whenever someone gets angry or emotional, who is to blame? Well, I would say that there is never one point, but always two points. The person and what they are reacting to. So if you ever see someone speak of blame, and if they only speak of one point, know that they are missing the second point.

So now we are seeing that it is a very common mistake people make, that whenever we blame, we only see one point, instead of the two points involved. Now what is interesting is that this Two point principle, is found everywhere. You are either the trigger or the person that is reacting to the trigger. For example, if you go up to someone and push their buttons, you are serving as a trigger. This is very obvious. Now what about when you are minding your own business, and someone reacts to you. This is an area of confusion to so many people including me. Am I responsible for this person's reactions, should I change? Let's see if we can find some answers.

So there are two kinds of people, those who take responsibility for the reactions they have to triggers, and those who don't and instead project blame on the triggers. Most people you know fit into category 2. I mean if we are really honest, if everyone in the world came together to conspire to make sure that none of them trigger someone else's reactions, that such a world/life would be pathetic. So in an absolute sense, this fear/concern of triggering other people's reactions is invalid in a practical sense because it doesn't assist and support anyone. So the same goes with seeing how if everyone took responsibility for their reactions, that such a world would be wonderful. Now these would be in an absolute sense, but what about in the relative world of today/now.

So because so few people take responsibility for their reactions, one cannot essentially demand that someone else take responsibility for their reactions. Most people would actually blame you. That is the reality of the situation. Everyone everywhere, from people in schools, teachers, peers, students, to the home, parents, family, and at work, with bosses and coworkers, everyone everywhere will blame you for what they feel when you something you or even your mere presence triggers that feeling/emotion. This includes feeling good too, not just emotionally angry. So virtually no one is taking responsibility for what they feel, and they will blame you for it. That is reality right now.

Now because we depend on each other so much, in terms of such basic things as food, housing, rent, education, grades, money, job/work, literally everything, and because other people out there control these things and make the decisions of what grade to give students, what money to pay employees, and who to sell their house to, literally things are not in your control/ownership. So because it is like that and because people blame you for how they feel. You basically have 1 of 2 options, you can either recognize that people blame you for how they feel and you can utilize that to your advantage by pushing the right buttons to get access to what you want, or you don't recognize that and simply not caring what buttons you press and let them get angry/upset at you. This is everyday life for people today. And so many of us actually embrace this LIfE we live, saying that how we feel, and how we MAKE each other feel, is wonderful and special and right. I mean, there couldn't be a better horror movie than the one we live daily.

So now within looking at the confusion I have, and the question I asked about whether I am responsible for other people's reactions, and whether I should change. I can say this now, that you can only ever serve as a trigger for someone else's reactions. Is a trigger wholly responsible for someone's entire reaction? No. That much is clear. But if you knowingly know what a person's trigger is to a particular reaction, and you push their buttons knowing that it is not leading to any beneficial outcome, then that you are clearly responsible for, because you had a better option. So is this complex? Yes. Because you are dealing with a world whether everyone has placed their power, and have essentially placed their behaviors and choices out into the environment, for outside forces to decide what will happen. No one is in fact in control of their behavior, what they think or what they say, because all of that is determined outside of them. So it's like you are walking on a road, and on the road there are millions of buttons, many of them you cannot avoid if you want to keep walking. So you basically need to step on the best possible route that you can. That's literally doing the best you can do. And that will involve pressing people's buttons so that you do get access to grades, to money, to food, to housing. You have to do that. And you literally won't have a choice because practically everything you do will be pushing one of a person's many buttons. So you can't escape that. The best is to just press the best buttons you can.

This brings up a very important point. People are not people. People are robots right now. Remember that. The people that are around you that are reacting to everything and living in a constant state of reaction and having their buttons pressed are not people, they are robots. So to feel remorse, or anger and react would only make you a robot too. And it doesn't change the situation and the reality we face. If everything a person does is in reaction to you, meaning that no matter what you do, they will be reacting to you, then you just have to do what is best and create the best outcome, which you can only do within awareness and deliberate intent of button pushing.

It is safe to say that there is no morality and responsibility when it comes to the point of whether you should press people's buttons. This act itself will happen regardless because other people are literally the ones who are living that decision to be in constant reaction to everything and everyone. So whether you have an opinion or moral judgment about that point, know that everyone will continue getting their buttons pushed by everyone, including you. They can't help but react to you. So you literally don't have the choice, because it is their responsibility. Your responsibility is to make the best of the situation and so it involves pushing the right buttons, and creating a future that everyone has the chance and opportunity on earth to be aware, and take responsibility for their life of reactions, by firstly separating the physical life necessities of food, water, housing, money from other people's decisions and control, and so from their reactions, and thus meaning that we don't have to compromise ourselves to push people's buttons to get them. Because obviously yes, that when you push people's buttons it is not the ideal way to support a person. But right now it is necessary to even live on this earth. So do you feel like you understand everything now? Lol.

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So this I see to be a difficult point to grasp, that people are not alive, that they can be considered as being dead or like zombies. This is partly because of a morality judgment. Because in all honesty, if you tell someone this, they will react. Their buttons will be pressed, because they believe they are alive, and that most people are alive and have a value/worth. But of course they are just reacting. They are not seeing that everyone everywhere including them for their entire life have only ever reacted to everything. Nothing of what they lived was by a decision. None of it. Everything they lived was determined by outside forces and so not by them. That is the very definition of being dead, of having no value, and could literally be disregarded, because everything they would say to you is only in reaction to you. Nothing of them would be here to consider what you say or to listen to you.

Why it is important to see the above point that no one is alive, and how will it assist and support you? Basically so much of you is intertwined within this belief that people are alive and that they deserve respect and equal consideration. Even this point of equality where everyone is equal. So much of that is defined and so based on that people are alive and aware. But if you now take into account the reality that people are only living reactions and so can be disregarded, then so much of that falls apart. But in a good way as that liberates much of the guilt, confusion, and worry that one participated in before, including second guessing. Because you would be worried about how you can assist and support a person when they are having a reaction, because you would want to assist and support them in being aware and taking responsibility. But one thing that escapes your awareness is that this person and most people are constantly reacting to everything in their entire day and they haven't even YET made a SINGLE decision in this life so far to take responsibility for their own reactions. Such a person is dead, and cannot be supported. So if it was yes, a person that made the decision to take self-responsibility and you can openly talk about it, yes then you can see how you can assist this person. But when it comes to people out there that you don't know, then you have to ask the question how you can assist and support yourself. Because the only one that is walking a path towards Life, towards having value is you in that interaction between two people. The other person isn't. So they are not even walking the process and so they don't even have a chance in this life yet.

Within that above interaction, the desire to help or save another is great. But when you take a look at this feeling of wanting to help others, what is it based on? It is based on that person both wanting help and deserving help. But again, in a world where everyone is only reacting to everything, and so creating the entire consequence that we face together, is such a person looking for help? Or are they just reacting. See, when you are reacting you completely invalidate everything about you. You are not even a person. You can even make an appearance and illusion that you care and that you want help, but even that can all be just a reaction. You know this because the reactions are sporadic and inconsistent. Each person is literally like a chaotic tornado. Reactions in every moment to everything. None of that is real. There is no person there to communicate to. They will react to you, yes, but there is no equal communication.

It may actually help to pretend you are talking to a microwave. Because a microwave has many buttons. Essentially all you can do is press buttons. See, there is no point in getting angry at a microwave, yelling at it, or even breaking it or hitting it. A microwave is a microwave. Right now the human is a microwave.

So this entire blog can be considered a button pressing point. Now for those who are self-responsible, they are the only ones that can decide to let go of this button. Meaning that when it comes to pressing other people's buttons you see the reality of the situation that everyone is living within reactions right now, and that for this realization to push your button of guilt, worry, confusion, and so resistance, is just another button. You can only directly change what buttons you accept and allow for yourself. Most people will react to you, will bully you, will attack you and belittle you if you threaten their self-belief, which can be summarized as their buttons. They in a sense want to continue living with their buttons intact. You, that is the one taking self-responsibility, are the only ones on this planet that can change their own buttons. So to react to anything yourself, including reacting to someone else reacting, is the same game. The reason why people bully you or attack, is not only because they feel threatened, but its also because they know that you have buttons too, and so they are trying to push your buttons, to get you to react, to join them. It is literally like a disease or zombie virus that is trying to infect you as well.

So this reveals an interesting thing. That yes, if you could somehow reveal who you are, your stand of self-responsibility to every person on the planet at once, they would attack you. So in that sense the world is against you. Thankfully, people out there don't know who you are. Otherwise they might actually attack you. Remember people are just living reactions, they are robots. Their awareness is limited, yet when they feel threatened they do respond. So within this you obviously want to connect with as many people possible who are like you that see the value of self-responsibility. So that you can assist each other. Because in the land of robots, threats are everywhere, and you need to push their buttons to get the things that you need.

The hardest point may be to realize that everyone you have met is a robot, and that what you may feel for them, is simply a reaction. If you are lucky enough you will realize this sooner, and if you are really lucky, you will be placed in circumstances and situations where the ones you have felt so much for, reveal their true colors and their reactions to you, revealing that they are not alive, and only live within reactions. When you see this directly, you may even deny it. But seeing it is important and is a necessary point. It is part of the process of developing the sight and so discernment of who is real and who is not. And remember most are not, for now. Maybe one day that changes, but it will be a long time, probably not even this lifetime. But if it does change, it will be because of those who took self-responsibility and joined forces.

Another extremely important realization is the value of you. You are literally like a pearl in the sand. Your value is so so important. To even be alive is important. To walk your process and take responsibility for your reactions is so important that you can say it is the pivotal point of value within any human. That is why you must stay alive, to live in the system, to push people's buttons so as to ensure that you can keep walking your process.  Sometimes you may get fed up, and react. Simply breathe and take responsibility. You also may feel confused or guilty when others attack you. That is the main reason why I am writing this blog. That you recognize when someone else is reacting to you, that you can self-honestly see in any moment whether you were pushing someone's buttons within awareness for your survival, or whether you weren't aware that this person had such buttons to be pressed. So then it can be a learning process about what buttons leads to what reactions within some person. And you can use that information for your benefit in the future.

It will be hard to live in this new way. Because for your entire life you have listened to and reacted to everyone else's reactions to you. That is how the programming that we looked at in this series of blogs worked. We looked at the parent-child relationship, families, schools, teacher-student relationship, and at the work place. Everywhere, you have been programmed on how to be, how to think, how to speak, how to do everything. This all happened within reactions. All the adults in your life reacted to you. Whenever you did something which wasn't aligned with them, they reacted. Whatever the trigger was, it was in relation to something that was already defined as good/bad or as acceptable or not acceptable within the adults. So you were weaved into and through these reactions, and you actually embraced them in some level inside yourself, where you actually look for reactions, look for feedback on what to do, how to be, who to be. You have been a robot, built in the same way as your parents, and their parents before them. This is the legacy of the human race.

So understand, you are going against your base program. That being that you react when people react to you, and to have to utilize that information to reprogram yourself so that you fit in, and no longer cause reactions. If that program wasn't accepted or allowed at all, then no one could control you whatsoever. The problem though is that such children would have probably be sent to psychologists or beaten by their parents, because they wouldn't obey. So just like a child, an adult would be treated similarly today. So you do have to pretend, and play along, for your safety.

If you like to solve problems or puzzles like me, then see how in understanding the problem, and placing the puzzles pieces within understanding how it works, that you solving it and are on the right path. I suppose it is shocking to see your life and now only see an entire problem or puzzle that used to be your ordinary life before, where now everyone is robot, and constantly reacting to everything and now you are in the middle of it. Before you were in the middle of it, and you were sort of aware of it. You survived, and you are here now. And now you only are much more aware of the extent of the problem. Because you always knew that there was a problem, right? Well, now you know. I am sure this explains much about everything, and why things happened the way they did. It certainly discredits much of the new age, love and peace, philosophy and that all humans are inherently good. Because well, they are not even alive, lol, they are robots, just in reactions. If you press the right buttons, you can make someone act good or feel love and peace for a while. Even then it falls apart because the complexity of the reactions and because there are so many triggers, this only means a new emotional reaction is just right around the corner.

And it is important to emphasize, that the only thing real in your daily interactions is you. You can decide who you are and how you express yourself. Other people, cannot do the same. But you can. So when you express yourself, know it is real. This awareness you have to hold onto because it is guaranteed that others will attack you, will react to your expression even though it is real. Because for other people, they can't even tell that what they live is a reaction and not real. So everything in the world for them is a trigger for them. And if it is new, then they are busy developing a reaction for that new trigger. It is easy to react when others bring out their attacking, aggressive, superiority, upset, crying, depressed personalities as reactions. The reason why it is easy is basically because you have reacted yourself in the past in any such moments every single time consistently. So you are breaking a habit here, and facing your history/past.

Another important point is how when you are yourself taking on an expression on purpose that involves accessing parts of your personalities, that there is a danger to watch out for. That you can get stuck within that expression or personality. So to watch out that you don't forget yourself within surviving in the world by pushing other people's buttons. That can also happen easily. And I have seen it many times even with people who made the decision to take self-responsibility. When you are busy out there trying to push the right buttons, taking on your various personalities or expressions, and within that getting lost within it all. It will help to remind yourself too that expressions and personalities are not real. An expression is not you. An expression is a movement that you make. It is a part of you, but it is not you. Therefore it is not real. If you suddenly never express an expression ever again, you don't die or stop existing. So the value we give to expression and personalities, which has to do with how we have defined such points within reactions to triggers, is false. The only thing that is real can be you, when you make the moment to express, you are what substantiate the moment of expression. The problem comes when you start to believe that the expression is you, and what is real or of value. That is the lie and that is where many people fall.

It is essentially the point of falling in love with yourself. You react to your own memories, to your own image, to your reactions, then it becomes a little cycle or hole that you get stuck within. And you will stay there as long as you decide. This is somewhat more dangerous and vicious as it is all contained within you and will most likely waste much of your time. At least when you were reacting to things outside of you, those things could shake you up, and trigger in such a way that you won't be stuck in one point for too long. So interestingly enough, for those robots that show a lot of commitment within a particular area, like really devote or really zealous, that is this reacting to yourself and holding onto you that is at play here. For everyone else they tend to be reacting to various things outside of them. Religions are built on that type of consistency and commitment. That is often why using positive messages and points is the best way to create the falling in love with one's own reactions. That creates a little circle that cycles like a spiral, completing itself within reacting to itself onto into infinity. Usually those who sort of realize what is going on in the world, get trapped when they try to find the truth and they come upon the positive messages which essentially tell you to fall in love with yourself, and then once you embrace that you are completely messed up, and are stuck like that.

Now for me, what is this core point for this massive point. It is essentially regarding when people in your life that you grew up with that have a history with you, that they know what your buttons are, and that they deliberately push them to get you to do what you want. Now deliberate maybe misplaced here, but since everyone is in reactions, people are usually just reacting and when they see you they simply push your buttons as part of their own reactions. It is an abuse, and you are the only one that can end it, since it is you and your buttons that are being pressed here. So there are such moments which are more rare, the reason being is that there are usually very few people that you have spent many many years together, and so with these people there is a specific interplay and network of linked reactions. With people that you don't have a history with, they wouldn't know what buttons to press and they wouldn't have a habit of pressing your buttons. So that is what make such "close" relationships a challenge. You do require to apply extra effort, extra attention in such moments than you would with other people. So it does require more direction, more movement of you. So just like there is no equality among the value of life, there is also no equality among our relationships. There are simply some people in your life that you have a history with that you have a way of interacting with, where they will constantly press buttons that other people wouldn't. I am sure you can think of 1 or 2 examples from your entire life. The potential of standing up within these relationships is massive, meaning that if you can stand and take self-responsibility and live it in such relationships, then you would be becoming much more stronger.

So it is important to be aware that not all people are equal when it comes to how you relate to them and whether you react to them. Some people will just know how to push buttons. And there are guaranteedly some people out there that are master minds when it comes to button pushing and those are usually the people that are on the top of the food chain, this means people involved in very wealthy money, including professionals, such as doctors, lawyers, and even priests. So to also watch out, because not all people are equal, and with some of them they will take advantage of you if they can. They are just robots, remember that. If they weren't they would be using their "powers" for a better cause. They also wouldn't be reacting. So keep on eye out as these people are your biggest threats, but also your greatest opportunities to grow. So remember, the process, who you are, and self-responsibility.

And for people you have a history with, recognize that there is a history, meaning that you also know how to press the other person's buttons and that you have reactions to them, even just as a person. These points you have to take responsibility for. You are going to need to recognize that they are not aware that they simply react. Your reactions to them are invalid, even if they were aware. So that is where the cookie crumbles. That is the point to get. That no matter what you are responsible for your reactions and the responsibility of directing yourself no matter where you are and no matter who you are with. The outcome is not fully in your control, but your responsibility for yourself is 100% in your power, and so your reactions and your Self. So eat a cookie.



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