“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

First Crushes 277


So we are going wayyyyyy Back in Time. 

Welcome to the past. Here I am where my first crushes were present. So my earliest relationship with the opposite sex, girls, I see as significant, now that I have made a major breakthrough in seeing my pattern of reacting to women in detail. So I see then that my first relations with women, defined how I responded/reacted to all women. That is quite significant, the fact that my first initial relations with women defined how I responded, felt, and what I thought when meeting all of these future women. That is what I can see now.

This reveals how everything we live: think, feel, react, doesn't just go away by itself. It stays with us. Until, we actually in awareness take responsibility for that, and release it and change. See, I was aware that my relationship to women was not self-supportive. I knew that. But, I wasn't aware of the detail of it, how I felt, what I thought, in moment to moment playout. I had to be aware of what it is, and how I actually am, and what I am doing in detail, from one step to the next. And I had to forgive each step. Simply being aware that I feel bad, and that I am reacting to women, isn't enough, but it is the first step. The second step is finding out what I am feeling and how I am reacting.

So now, in the past, I see it as significant that for children, for the future, that it is walked with awareness, how you react, stays with you, and becomes you, unless you direct yourself from the get go. I see it as being a necessary and inevitable process that we walk with children to, for example, decide who they are in relation to the opposite sex, and what they will accept and allow of their expression and being, and what not. Because otherwise we are leaving the lives of people/children up to chance/gamble.

Imagine what it would be like to be absolutely clear, sure, and knowing who you are as a decision in awareness in relation to the opposite sex, that is a stance that is best for you, which you accept nothing less than that, and having that stance since the beginning, when you were a child. How your life would have been different, no?

It seems we today, avoid such topics with our children, until they already form their patterns. Then we just accept their patterns as who they are, as their individuality and uniqueness, and what makes them them. When we know, in the back of our minds, that there is something wrong with this picture. Shouldn't we be taking responsibility and actively supporting our children to develop and decide who they are, in a way that is best for them?

The problem starts within how we ourselves as people haven't seen our own patterns, and if we haven't supported ourselves yet, how can we expect to support others in walking the same process we haven't yet walked.

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