Yogan's Journey to Life

 What are the points that other people's relationship with me represent? Love, acceptance, approval, respect, praise, esteem, happiness, joy, admiration, attention, fun,   I need to live these points for me, with me, alone.  Every time I share something to other people, online or in person, or I do a work, a test, or quiz, and receive feedback from the professor or my parents, or anyone really, its like I am looking for those above words, because I AM NOT GIVING MYSELF THOSE WORDS ALREADY TO MYSELF. If I give myself those words, if I live those expressions, then I will be fulfilled thus I don't need to look to others. And for those who think or say, well you don't need those words, or why bother with the words at all, it is because we are everything, we are expressions, we are not meant to be blank slates or zombies. It is through living, flowing, moving, creating.  An expression, a huge smile, a great laugh, and jump up and down, is who we are. When who we are,...

 So I recently updated my facebook from a cat to that of a lion. This is a symbol for me, that represents how I am utilizing strength in the form as a roar. Strength is very important. Without strength we cannot stand in the difficult moments nor do what must be done. So for me there are past moments where I wasn't able to bring forth the strength needed. And so I would allow for abuse time and again. And by allowing abuse, my integrity was degrading as well. And so I wasn't able to live with myself, live happily and trust me.  So finding that strength now, where I will not allow the mind, will not allow abuse till the end of times. That no matter what comes at me, I will not bend, I will not stop, and I will succeed. This attitude is not one I had previously in my life. I had an attitude of believing in trying, in mistakes, and time to understand and learn. These are not bad attributes, they are positive ones, but alone they are not enough to stand in certain moments. There a...

 One of the things needed is strength. And the greatest source of strength is breath. People of the mind and of the current world system will tell you that strength comes from emotions like anger, or fear or love. And they will act that way. But that is not real strength, since emotions are just mined versions of the body's matter. The substance of the physical is the source that allows for the mind to even exist, and play out its illusions. The physical owns it all. Thus by standing with the physical, you own it all.  That is how we will change the world, through simple physical actions as physical beings. Where the physical takes over. No more allowing the realm of the mind to exist in these bodies. If you want to know real power, just breath. And end your mind. That is the one thing that normal people of the system cannot and dare not do, would be to end their thoughts or challenge their thoughts. Thus that alone is proof of the lie and of the enslavement.  So free you...

 The real life. the Life that is eternal, that is everything one and equal. You are either Life or you are the abuser of Life. Life does fight back. If there is a coup, life fights back. If there is gossip made, life fights back. The fight is interesting because Life stands proud, in honesty and with integrity. Whereas the Mind would work in the shadows, plotting, looking for revenge.  The most important thing you can have in this Life is Self, the real self. Nothing else holds any value in comparison to that. If you don't have this self, you have nothing. This self is having the power, the responsibility, and the ability to create. And part of that responsiblity is fighting back, and no allowing any abuse. When someone abuses, you stop it. And you know the abuse is within the mind, within the thought. That is where the real abuse occurs, through acceptance and allowance of the mind. So that is what you say to them. You show and teach what the separation is and you show the pa...

 Self-motivation. I want it.  I don't want to be motivated by praise or outward feedback. I want to be motivated by myself. I feel that lack of motivation. I have wanted to be motivated by relationships, by friends, by a partner. I wanted to do things for other people, and in so doing, feel good about myself. But that is not self-motivation. And that can be taken away.  I want to be motivated by myself, and not be affect by the outward forces. I want to have this for me. I want this for me. I want this self-motivation for myself. I want this creative power. I want to say that I am going to do something, and myself holding myself accountable, and not flinching to what others would say to me. Too often I tell others the things I want to do, and then they speak to me as if they are holding me accountable, when I never asked them to, when its really none of their business. And I feel that pressure of wanting to please them, of wanting to have them like me, of not disappointin...

Something that I am observing for myself, which aligns with what someone else has told me, is that anger is made in relation to the past ( or memories). So if I feel angry right now its because I am angry at a memory. To me this makes sense.  When I observe myself I see that anger is directed at memories within me. And I suspect that when I get angry at someone while in person with them, that I am also getting angry at a memory. To me this also makes sense. Because memory defines the knowledge and it assigns value to actions. It defines it within the framework of good/bad and thus also what makes me angry. If I let go of the anger at memories, and let go of the memories, then I am just here. And I can create and move here something new. I do recognize that this point of memories can be applied to many things about the mind. But I do think it has something to do in particular with anger. Where memories are the subject of direction for anger. I am angry at the memories. In that case,...

 Fear. There is no reason to be afraid of anything. Not of death, disease, harm or violence. Fear itself is irrational. It has no reason. The reason we assign to it is that it protects us. But fear doesn't protect us at all. What does protect us is actions. Physical actions are things we do, which can include protection. Fear itself is a possession, is like an entity. It is not an action. It takes over what your actions are. And those actions are maybe sometimes to your benefit, and other times not. But all together it is not always best for all, and thus it isn't best for all since its something that you either accept and allow or not. Thus if you accept and allow fear you know you are accepting those actions that aren't best for all.  Fear is ancient. Its a foundational point of our minds and ego. And it is how and why we can even act within violence. Look here, would violence exist if fear didn't exist? And here I am talking about violence done not out of necessity, ...

 So there's something that I have realized about when people go through trauma. The common response by people who go through trauma says that it changes them. And what I see is that one of the reasons why it changes them is because they are feeling certain things that they don't know how to stop. And this includes anger and blame. And the mere suggestion that people who go through traumatic events forgive their abuser, is already scoffed at, let alone the suggestion that they forgive themselves for the anger and hate/blame that they feel. I suppose it makes perfect sense in this humanity that we are today that we don't know how to go through an event like trauma, and be able to process it and revert back to how we were. Because if we did so then we would remain like children. We would be naive, we would be pure, and open hearted, and we would still believe crazy things like no one should be harm, and all life is precious, and all people are equal regardless of any differenc...