Thursday, March 28, 2019

Day 705 The word 'Friend'


To be a Friend

The Tv Show Friends

Its quite something, quite a word.

This word came up in my life, and some really dark reaction was here. Its resonance its still here. Its still haunting. Its what my last blog was about. Hauntings of Love. The phrase that got me triggered was "Thanks Friend" And I had said a really warm message. Basically how I heard it was an emphasis on the word FRIEND as in, back off!!!  You are too warm, you are smothering me, I am uncomfortable right now!!!

So the flood gates opened up and all of it came rushing out. All the past, all the zombified memories still within me roaming around.

So while I did work on some dimensions and in correcting/aligning the point more within me, I see that it would be a very juicy and fruitful method to focus on the word Friend. So to opened it up. Redefine it. Play with it, and use it, speak it.

So that's my intro and here goes.

How I have used the word so far is in very casual use of the word, meaning it doesn't take much for me to consider someone a friend. So I easily and readily call someone my friend. But the reality is there are levels of depths of friendships. We don't really have a word/label to describe the different levels.

Friendship scares me, the word itself scares me. I didn't expect it too when coming here to work on the word. But I know it make sense why it does scare me. Cause of my awkward and volatile history of having friends. That was the words and presence of myself while I was sharing to someone, that they pointed out I need to change my past. Maybe its this specific past moments, definitions and relationship to these words.

Friends, Friendship, Having Friends.

When my mom would make a big deal on me making friends or having friends while I was a Kid. Social acceptance apparently being so important. I am way past that now.

But still. There are friends that I know will always be around, be willing to chat/talk.

Okay...... So......  what I 'm seeing here is that I need to let go of the idea of Friendship that my parents and society passed onto me. Where Friends became an Attainment, a Status Symbol, a Dream. Just like the TV show Friends coincidentally, or is it? Hmmmmm.....

Anyway. The people I spend time with here, that is real The time i spend alone with myself is real too. Eqaully as real.

Friendship to redefine it should be the epitome of the best qualities of BEING a Friend. It should be a compliment and a regard. In the world system, friend is more a label and used for survival.

The qualities of a friend would be showing up, listening, supporting, being there, doing what is best, directing the points and taking responsibility.

So we have the extremes, then the very shallow, you are my friend status label, to you are a true friend. Using the word, or trying to be understood shouldn't matter so much.

At least for me, my focus should be not on what someone means by 'Friend,' but by living me, being me, continuing to be the best me, and share that to everyone.

So its to stop chasing the status symbol of friendship. Like I have 10 friends or 20 friends... Realistically people come and go from our lives, thats just how it works. If someone stays for a significant amount of time, then that's just how it works out. There is only so much that is in your control, and there is that which isn't. Both Accepting the lack of control you have AND living up to your utmost in direction, directiveness, creation is important. Cause its also about being OPEN to what Life brings as well, and as much as directing your life. This may seem like a contradiction, but it isn't really. Cause its about whats best for all. Who you are being that at your core. Like your left and right hand. You have that which you direct/move, and that which you have to take and work with with. You still have to actively work with and create with what life brings you. You still have to Create and Decide who you are with what HAPPENS to you.

What's interesting with someone going into and out of your Life, is that you always remain here as you. So if you are the best friend you can be that that always remains here no matter whose here or not. Who you are carries on into whatever relationships you have.

Why not define our Friendships?

Why not create agreements of Friendship?

Why not create and define specificity and details of our lives. I mean it is our lives and we will die. It is temporary. Lets create the best, and live to the fullest. Let's speak out loud, define and create.

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