Yogan's Journey to Life

Friend To be a Friend The Tv Show Friends Its quite something, quite a word. This word came up in my life, and some really dark reaction was here. Its resonance its still here. Its still haunting. Its what my last blog was about. H auntings of Love . The phrase that got me triggered was "Thanks Friend" And I had said a really warm message. Basically how I heard it was an emphasis on the word FRIEND as in, back off!!!  You are too warm, you are smothering me, I am uncomfortable right now!!! So the flood gates opened up and all of it came rushing out. All the past, all the zombified memories still within me roaming around. So while I did work on some dimensions and in correcting/aligning the point more within me, I see that it would be a very juicy and fruitful method to focus on the word Friend. So to opened it up. Redefine it. Play with it, and use it, speak it. So that's my intro and here goes. How I have used the word so far is in very casual use of th...

 Okay Im going to be laying out a System Design of mine, so read carefully. When I was 18, I already developed this system of Love where I can access that energy of Love whenever I wanted. It would be brought here literally in a moment. This speed and easy signifies that it was pre-programmed in my nature/design and that I practiced/accessed it heavily, across my life which I did. So the extent of this system is in the facts that I would spend a few moments/hours/days with a girl my age and then "fall in love" with her, which meant that 18 I said to these ladies that I will always love you, I love spending time with you, I will always be there for you, and its not only what I said, it was my presence. I oozed love at them. They knew that I loved them, even though I only met them, spent very little time with them. So in this way I initiated all of my relationships. I was the one who created the point. I manifested the relationship, even though at times it was the ladies who ...

So I read this line in my last blog: "Accepting that I did something, the worst of me, is the first step in taking self-responsibility and self-change, and accepting that in the face of irreparable consequence is the first step to freedom." https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/03/day-702-fear-from-my-past-relationships.html So I have went through events recently and I have seen I need to Live the word Directive. And that Living Directive is actually the Full step of Fully Taking Responsibility. Because its preventing consequence. Being the word Directive means directing what is inside of you in the moment by doing the self-forgiveness in the moment and stopping the mind point so you are clear and empty inside of you in the moment. Being Directive is THEN asking yourself how do you direct this moment to what is best for all.  And then you speak and you move.            The Living word Directive is you being her...

From my past relationships with women... I am afraid of saying or doing something in the heat of the moment and regretting it… I am afraid of doing or saying something I can’t take back… ...I accept the worst of me and the worst that I can do. I accept that it can happen. I accept that it can happen that I do say something that makes the relationships irreparable, that ends it, I can that accept that I can be saying right now as I caught myself saying it. I can accept that I just said/done such a thing.I can accept that I just lived the worst of me. I can accept what is happening right now. I can forgive myself for doing that. I can forgive myself even though there is a consequence that no self-forgiveness or self-change can undo. I can forgive myself even though the consequence is permanent. I can forgive myself wholly/fully. I forgive myself not for the purpose of undoing consequence, but because I did that, I created that consequence, and I accept that...

So I was asked the question: can I embrace the worst part of myself? This wasn't the first time I consider such things as EMBRACE myself, embracing myself, and the evil, dark sides of me. So a practical example of the dark side of me. Not so long ago, maybe 1-2 weeks I was irritated, tired, and started to say some underhanded NASTY things about someone to someone. This is the worst part of me, at least in the Now times, or times of Today. So that's the practical example.... Now here I have something NEW to share.  So the OLD is that I have done self-forgiveness many times, and taken self-responsibility and I would totally do that with this situation. But the NEW here is this approach which is like a Living Word of Embrace....    Its a warm hug or embrace of me. The perfect Image to describe this i me running up to hug ME, and I look today and that is me as a kid, or just me but shorter. But you know when a kid runs up to you and hugs you and looks straight ...

This morning I found out something about the mind.... a memory from when I was told "Yogan, listen to me you don't know what you are doing" OMG I can't believe this...You are so weird and different. So I did self-forgiveness on this moment/memory and the reactions... and I had a peace within me. A quietness. The reaction that was haunting me was held together by LOVE. I loved my friend, and he was the one that told me these words. So because of Love I listened to him and believed him. Because of love I validated his opinions and beliefs about me. And it stayed with me. Love is unnecessary. I realize that. Because you can hug a person, you can talk to a person, you can do anything with a person, and you don't need LOVE to enjoy them. Love is fear. Fear is love. Test it out yourself, when you love someone, will you take in whatever they say about you? Don't you start to accept more shit, don't you FEAR to lose them? You do. That's the human nature or...

I am walking a process of living words. Today I am taking a word that I have lived in some areas of my life already and expanding it. The word is Pumped Up. I have lived in during this last year at my physical labor job, where at any moment I may need to lift something heavy or do some intense physical movement for the job. I also have lived this word when I am doing something my life where I am directing with that tenacity. Body Dimension - In my body I feel what I am calling adrenaline with being pumped up. -In my body I feel I have access to all the sugar and glucose for my cells and muscles to move quickly, and very effectively. -In my body I feel so strong, so awake and so ready to do anything. -In my body I can push my limits and go strong. Being Pumped has dimensions of Directiveness, and being in control, calm. A very masculine presence where I do shout or speak loudly, yet very much to the point and non-emotional. Incorporation: -I can incorporate this word Pumped U...