“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Christmas 'Presents' 216


Presents, Christmas Eve.
I feel sad, depressed, tired. Imagination of people getting angry with me. I feel a pain, emotional pain. And I feel a movement of crying within me. It seems silly to me that we give presents. Because within me, I have felt sad when I don’t receive a present and someone else did. I feel like that said something about my value/worth as a human being or person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value and worth to myself dependent upon what presents I did receive, or did not receive because others had received a present.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value myself highly when I receive a present, which I believe/perceive is of high value, that someone else didn’t receive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value myself lowly when I don’t receive a present, which I believe/perceive to be of high value, because someone else received it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value myself or others, based on what presents we did or did not receive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad, depressed and tired, when I receive presents.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an emotional pain and feel like crying when I am around an atmosphere of gift-giving.
When and as I see myself feeling sad, depressed, tired, and having an emotional pain, with a physical movement of crying, while I am in an atmosphere of gift-giving, such as Christmas, I stop and I breathe – I realize that gift are just physical objects, and the value I am placing on myself based on what physical objects are given to me or not given to me, and how I value those objects, is not supportive for me and unnecessary – I realize that I can treat gifts like the physical objects they are, without my self-value fluctuating or changing based on my perception of them.
Thus, I commit myself to receive gifts with gratitude, and recognizing them as the physical objects they are, which have a value, but this value does not determine my value as a physical object myself. And I commit myself to utilize these objects to serve me in doing what is best for all, just like how I utilize myself as a physical object, this body, to serve the aim of what is best for all, because that is best for me! 
 For-give-ness is the Best Christmas Present. 

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