Yogan's Journey to Life

Losing your Purpose in Gaming https://www.facebook.com/events/813442582038134/ So in about 1-2 days, I will be on a hangout on gaming possession. While during this hangout I will be discussing possession of gaming, and the negative side effects of this addiction. I would like to focus on this blog particularly on a completely different point on my gaming experience. While there are lots of positive and negations attitudes I have towards gaming, there are some practical points that I did learn and found useful in gaming. In general my attitude towards gaming is a mix of shame, embarrassment, guilt, on one end, and on the other end excitement, thrill, enjoyment, and fun. For the negative spectrum, I have this voice within me that says gaming is childish, and shouldn't be done by adults, and makes people stupid, and is something that is a waste of time. Particularly because of this side, I would like to point out, what lessons I have learned and applied from the games I have play...

"We are all drug addicts. We are addicted to our minds, energy, thoughts." Drugs. Stimulation. Highs, lows. Delusions. Hallucinations. Addictions. Money. Imagine a man coming up behind you. Inserting a needle in your neck, injecting a drug. You feel high, good. Your high man! You feel happy for no particular reason! You don't know why or how! It's a drug man! You were drugged. It just happened. This happiness isn't real man! It's a drug. We have all randomly feel happy or sad. Imagine swallowing a depressant. You're depressed man! Why? I don't know! I just feel sad man. Why do I feel happy or sad? I didn't choose this! Who says I am to be happy or sad? Who decides? Not me man! So can this be real?! No man! It's not me man. I am an addict man! I want to feel happy or sad, man. I don't know how or why, but I want it man! Just make me feel sad or happy man! Do it to me, give it to me! I will do whatever man! Cars, sex, money, d...

Connecting with my dogs. I accessed my memories of who I was when I was very young. By accessing these memories I am accessing both who I was and who I could be. I have always had the potential to connect with people, animals, and plants. And I have done so in the past, during the years as a child. By accessing my memories of who I was when I was young, I can again do the same, and perhaps more. Because I was always limited in how much I connected with people, animals and plants, in my past. And now looking back I see that. So what I am seeing is the potential to connect even more. When I connect with plants or my dogs, I become silent, and I focus on myself, what is here. My emotions are not activated, and my experience of myself isn’t fluctuation, but instead it’s continuous and steady. There is a connection formed, one that is firm, and clear. I may enter the mind, which involves thinking, but I can bring myself back here. Entering the mind becomes obvious be...

  Which is better puppies or babies? Pick one. Which do you like more? Which do you love more puppies or babies? Which are cuter? Which one would you support to receive food, housing, and healthcare? Pick one? The most important question is: why not pick both? Can you really say that you don't want to give food, housing and healthcare to puppies and babies?  Vote for these initiatives in your local area. Support your local government to ensure that all children and all pets receive food, housing and healthcare 4 life ! #life4pets #life4children

Would you vote for all babies receiving food, housing, and healthcare backed by your country? All babies and children would receive food, housing, and healthcare. How much do the mothers and fathers love babies and children? Do you think the parents of your country would vote that every baby and child to receive food, housing and healthcare? When would you say that you became an adult?  At what age do children grow up? Would you vote for all children receive food, housing, and healthcare, until they grow up into an adult? I support that my government provides food, housing, healthcare of the highest quality for all babies and children. Vote for the Life4Children today!

How much do you love cute puppies and kittens?  Well, how much? Because how would you like that all pets everywhere have their foods, housing, healthcare paid for? Would you vote for that? Imagine, every single puppy and kitten, being guaranteed food to eat, a place to live, and paid for medicine and surgical care. How many people do you know that love their pets? How many people do you think would vote for that? If there were a petition for guaranteeing pets' life happiness, would you vote today? How quickly do you think it will pass?   I support my government to ensure the life happiness of pets by guaranteeing paid food, housing, and healthcare. Vote for the Life4Pets today!

So why is it stupid to party on the weekend? Well, drugs and alcohol are already stupid in themselves, and if you do something stupid every 7 days (a week), that's just routinely stupid. Drugs and alcohol have an accumulated negative effect on you, if you aren't aware of that, I suggest doing some research, including speaking to people who have directly faced these consequences: Alcoholics and drug addicts. I don't do drugs and alcohol for that reason, because I know they will harm me. Its sad that partying has been defined to mean drugs and alcohol. Because can you imagine a party without drugs or alcohol? Would you want to be there? Honestly? That would be a boring party... or so we think. Can partying without alcohol and drugs, exist? Yes, but instead of enjoyment and fun being derived from alcohol and drugs, you need to find another source. You would need to have fun with yourself, with other people. Haha, does that bore you? Does that prospect of having fun with your...

So naturally, following my previous post where I revealed who I am. Desteni is the most natural topic to bring up. Because it is who I am, that I investigate all possibilities, and so I didn't have resistances towards Desteni, at least not any more than for other things. It doesn't seem like a complicated subject. Desteni is just what happens when you have people with the same goal. If you think of all the groups that exist, even class projects, they exist for a purpose. So the same with Desteni. I don't feel a need to defend Desteni, or even explain what Desteni does. Only because its so obvious what they do and the groups purpose. I mean, they place it clearly on the website: "At Desteni we thoroughly research and investigate the essence of what it means to be a responsible human being. This research is done through the participation of everyone that is interested and dares to take on the journey of self-discovery. We share our findings through video, au...

Yogan Who am I? What is my story? So I am trying to define myself, and place myself into words, categories, and descriptions, such that it encompasses my whole life, and all of my life experiences. I have experiences that cover spirituality, new age, gurus, christianity, philosophy, psychology, academics, living in the United States, specifically Miami, Florida, Hispanic culture, the Spanish language, going to public and private schools, being a guy, being an introvert, having dogs and cats, having divorced parents that get along, having a brother and a sister, being 24 years old, having a bachelors degree in psychology, having lived in Portland for 4 years, while studying at Reed College, being a straight A high school student, feeling lonely/alone, having crushes, being in relationships, having had sex, wanting to be married with someone forever, not knowing what to do with my life, not knowing or being sure there is a God, also not even caring because I hold myself to my own ...

Know thyself = Know what you feel.  Do you feel still or do you feel a movement(s) within you? When you experience an emotion, what is it that goes on within you? Emotions are energies in motion.  Psychology. Psych -ology Psyche Psych-E Eeeeee Emotion  Psyche -Mental State How does your mental state change throughout the year: during the holidays, at work, on vacation, with the family, with friends? Emotions = Energy in motion Psyche = Mental State Emotions are energy in motion. Anger, Depression, Anxiety are the emotions. What are the causes for Anger, Depression and Anxiety? What causes the Energy to move? Anger, Depression, and Anxiety are symptoms, not the cause. The energy in motion, is a symptom. What are Anger, Depression and Anxiety indicating?   What is your mental state? Emotions = Mental State

So there's a reason why I have this title. Because they are triggering, and words about conflict and fighting, such as "Vs." draws people's attention. Also in combination with Valentine's Day, which invokes usually positive feelings, its the perfect combination of positivity and negativity. So my title's wording is to bring in readers. At the same time however, it describes exactly what I will talking about today. So today is Valentine's Day, and what does this mean for me? In the past it meant, someone else. In the present, it means me. Do you see why now I wrote this title? There is a difference between the past and the present me. And there is a difference between me and another. Intimacy with me is quite an interesting thing. Its truly everlasting, not so much so for the typical relationship. What is the ideal relationship? You meet someone by fate occurrence, they are your perfect match, you fall in love, get married, have kids, grow old toget...

Max opened his eyes. He looked around and he saw he was in a deep valley. There were boulders around, and people carrying boulders up the sides of the valley. Max spoke to one of the people nearby. She explained that these boulders are your potential lives. You can pick and choose a boulder to take up out of the valley to live your life. Max walked around looking at the boulders. They were of varying sizes. He thought to himself that it must be easier to get out of the valley with the smaller boulder. He went out to see the other people. Throughout the day he watched and conversed with the people. He learned that even with the smallest boulders few ever get out or leave the valley. And something else he noticed. Everyone chose the smallest boulders. He asked them, why do you chose the smallest boulders. They said in response, “you know why, just ask your mind.” And they were right because he previously thought that it was easier to carry one of the smaller boulders. Yet desp...

In town, in a school, there was an art class. A girl in the class made an art piece. People in her life didn't like the art piece. The girl liked her art, so to her, that's all that mattered. She didn't cry or worry that people in her life didn't like her art piece. She didn't feel badly about herself that her art piece wasn't liked by others. She didn't think about whether the next art would be liked by others. She simply made her art, and she liked it. Why is she like this? She knows it is a waste of time to feel bad about what others think or say about her art. Her art is her creation so its her responsibility. Why would she feel bad about herself think that she is less, or her art is less? Art is art. And she is herself. She is not someone else's thought. And her thoughts are her own, and why would she accept any thought that her art pieces is horrible, when she likes it? There doesn't appear to be a good reason. In art class she is graded. S...

Charlie the TV Box: Assigning Purpose In a house, in a town, somewhere was Charlie. He sat all day on a table, and faced the couch. He had a nice big screen, not too big like one of those more expensive models. But big enough, and big enough for what? Well, Charlie was a TV box. He sat all day and all night, and would play programming. That is what he did. Depending on the day of the week and who was home, he would play certain programs. Maybe movies, or a culinary show. There was also Saturday morning cartoons. So this was his life, day in and day out. On and off. Not much to say about this life, huh? This is all he did and lived for. But was this really living? Could Charlie say he was alive? Charlie could say he had a name, he had a job, he provided a service, he had awareness, but does all of that mean he was living? I asked Charlie the above question, and do you know what he said? No, it wasn’t. Because he knew living is not what he did, despite that he h...

There are a people known as Quanari that are marked by a distinct feature. They are completely covered by grass. Grass roots burrow deep inside their bodies, bodies just like a humans. But a new born Quanari child has no grass leaves or roots. You see, there grass leaves are given, grown and spread amongst each other as they grow, and it takes years for the grass to take root. But what are these grasses really? They are thoughts. For the Quanari people, their thoughts are manifested as grasses. A traveler came upon the Quanari land for the first time, and saw its people. He was intrigued and interested. He spent time among the people got to know them, and they were completely like any human. They had cars, families, jobs, money etc… The only difference was this grass. The traveler learned how the grasses grew, not through direct teaching but from observation. You see, the Quanari would value certain grasses, and it was a point of pride, yet in reality the Quanari were n...

The Magical Box Have you ever heard the story about magical the box? It goes like this...  On a pyramid somewhere, on the very top, lies a magical box. To open this box you need to first climb the pyramid, and you need a special key. What is the key that you need? Energy. So while you climb the pyramid you must gather energy from the lower levels. In each level of the pyramid you will find access to specific energies that will give you access to the next level of the pyramid. It is essential that any who wishes to open the box to gather the energy. The energy is the key to opening the box. And the more energy you bring the longer you can stay in the box. While in the box all its dark and quiet, it feels like heaven/enlightenment, you become like light. It is a box after all so it is pitch black. But you can only stay in there as long as you have energy. Once the energy runs out, you must leave the box, and climb down the pyramid to again gather more energy. This is the only w...

Quest-ion: what is a connection with another person? So this is a question I have. So in scanning my memories, of all relationships with any human beings... in general I perceived my relationships as one sided, meaning that how I felt did not have any necessary connection or influence on how another person felt. This statement of observation was shown to me many times, wherein I would feel good around certain people and connected with them, yet the relationship would end or drift apart. This tells me one thing, that people couldn't perceive how I felt, nor who I am, such as what I think. And to be able to perceive that, would require that it be spoken/expressed. I notice that I didn't often expressed what I perceived or felt. And when I did on a rare occasion, people would be shocked/startle to see this side of me, or perhaps should I say me.  So I noticing something quite funny right now. Look at this: I was known as quiet, and a select people enjoyed this, and s...

Servant of Life; Servant of the Physical. So there is an interesting point I would like to get across. Looking at these words, "Servent" sticks out. It sounds like Serpent. And what did we learn in the Bible? The serpent tricked or manipulated or deceived Adam and Eve. So let me ask you, who is the greatest being in the Garden? Man or the serpent? Hmm...I know it might be a blow to your supposed high held regard of Humanity, but self-honestly the Serpent was the greatest being in the garden of Eden, because he did trick Man, and Man fell for it. But how do we regard these things: serpent and deception/manipulation? We regard it as evil don't we? I don't know if there's an easy way to say this, but we kind of screwed ourselves with this. How come? Well, it turns out that most of us are so scared of manipulation and deception, that we are actually opening up ourselves to manipulation and deception, because we never studied the point. We never studied the grea...

Silence I can become very quiet. I can sit and listen to someone talking to me, as long as they are talking. And I can sit with them in silence. I have never done this before, but I would find it quite enjoyable. That I would live/be with someone, and we would never speak, yet we would communicate without words. Now that I went through a personal journey where I spoke and expressed me, I am looking what is required of me. Meaning that what the moment requires of me, whether it is to speak or not to speak. So to again be silent. And its simply based on what the moment requires. Its funny that I have a slight to resistance to not speaking. It's only slight. I find that I can drown my thoughts in silence. That the silence is all pervading, all consuming, a never ending dark pool of liquid. I have heard some people in my life say that to be silent, to not speak would be a torture, something that they can't do, and would lead to great stress and anxiety. I have s...

Father Daughter ‘shot in head’ called 911 after father ‘massacred family’ "A Queens dad massacred his family early this morning, marching from room to room, shooting his two daughters, his girlfriend and her mother in the head before later killing himself, police said." Oh daddy!  So what is the father/dad construct. So I am not speaking about being a father, however if I were a father I would probably live and integrate this father/dad construct because it already exists within me, so it is prepared to enter into position. So then how is the father/dad construct existent within me. Well, believe it or not, I am relating to everyone in certain relationship constructs, here are some examples: Mother -all females that are old enough Sister Friend Girlfriend -all females that are young enough Father  So as you might have observed one of the main point that distinguish whether I treat a female like a mother or like a girlfriend is their a...