Yogan's Journey to Life

I feel tremendously over the positive appraisals of a Hollywood actor, when that actor has spent years of their life to support children in poverty. Because the individuals that praise the actor for their work, despite the fact that they say how much they care and even love the actor, fail to see the actions, the character, and the example of the actor. How can so many people fall in love with one person, and choose to ignore the obvious?             There are many reasons that I can give for this. One important reason, which in essence explains the entire problem, is this: not understanding one’s own mind. The mind is the focal point, the places where all information passes and is digested. The mind encompasses not only the information as the written word, but also all other forms of information, including but not limited to pictures, smells, sights, sounds, feelings, and emotions. All experiences of oneself must pass th...

This weekend, I was slung on the couch, walked around the kitchen, cleaning dishes, using the toilet, while watching movies from the Hollywood Golden age. Yes, black and white. I do not mean to imply that I was perusing movies from the so-called Golden age, and picked them at random. No, though such a thing would not be an unusual thing for me to do. Especially if the movies would be half as good as Breakfast at Tiffany’s.             It all started when I was in the living, sitting on the couch, watching the television. I don’t remember why I was watching. It may have been a moment of rest, or maybe brash decision made to escape my frustration at my life. Whatever the reason, I had been on the couch watching when a commercial for Godiva chocolate came on! They were using a song, playing “two drifters, off to see the world…” Now I have to admit, I probably did not really hear every word correctly of the song the first t...

My love for the Desteni Message. So a message that I heard about 5 years ago, is utterly simplistic, and answered all my questions. At the time I was looking for a way out... of what I created... who I am. But the message told me, that the freedom that I was looking for could only be found by actually taking responsibility for my living situation, and the living situation of everyone as this world, and the system we are apart of that form the human societies. Within taking that responsibility, I then in that moment felt free. Because I knew what I had to do. I knew who I was. I am myself. I created me. I gave permission to myself to become who I was. And I also gave permission for this world to be as how it existed. So all I have to do is stop giving permission for that, and to actually create the world and the self I want to be. That's it. I said it was utterly simplistic right? Its not about meditation, or ascending to the 9th dimension, or "saving the world" or ...

mmmmmmmmmmmm. Love. mmmmmmmmmmm. Intoxicating. mmmmmmmmmmmm. Exhilarating mmmmmmmmmm. Toxic......... Entrapping............... Why does our love turn into hate? Why can we not love someone stably? Why do succumb ourselves to Highs and then Lows? Why? These are important questions to ask. Do you wish you could no longer feel crappy? Do you wish to no longer feel hate or anger? Do you wish to let go of all depression and all experience of oneself as inferiority? The secret to your questions is within the pattern. The High and then the Low. The Love and then the Hate. The answer is inside of you. I am not being all sensei or mystical or aloof. You are the one that really knows the why and how to your exact situation, as you created your exact situation.

There are two journeys that one can take in your Addiction Support for Porn and Masturbation. The first is the more obvious one. To take a time to stop the addiction. The second is transforming the addiction to an expression. So we start with the first. 1) So there are benefits to stopping the addiction. One benefit is that you see your own ability to command yourself to be a certain way or take a certain action, and you make that action. This is important. There are specific tools and techniques one can use. I will share my personal ones that I have used. As a warning this may or may not be useful to you, which could be because of how I explain them here may not be sufficient for you to understand and this may be out of my control due to vocabulary. Additionally, as with any point, it all depends on your will power. My base technique is breathing. Let me explain, because breathing every single breath in awareness, being here. Let me explain, so being here means listening to every...

As humans, we are born as babies, who only have but potential. Initially we aren’t capable of much, however with time, care, and nurturing, which include teaching and providing a good example. So who knows our potential until we reach it? So the process of walking out of addiction, of porn or masturbation, is similar to the process of growing from the initial birthing process, what we call as infant or babies. So it takes time, care and nurturing to step out of addiction, including teaching and providing a good example, what it is that you will become. And you are very much a person and are able to adjust and change how well you do in learning and stepping out of addiction. When you look at addiction, it is something that was learned. So to step out of addiction will be the same process, just in reverse, and in this time with your own WILL and COMMITMENT. Because what usually happens with addictions, you just fall into it, not knowing really what you were doing, kind of lik...

If you ask most people what the walking dead tv show is about, they would most likely say it is about survival. I think that's wrong, I think its about living. I will try to explain why. For many people, the word survival is negative, and its about doing the bare minimum so you wont die. With this definition, a person who is surviving would have a crappy life. However, another definition for survival, which I think is more accurate, is simply taking care of one's basic needs that are required to exist here. These are not wants or desire, the requirements are NEEDS. Do you see the difference between a want and a need? So survival, according to this definition is something everyone who is alive today are most likely doing. And for some we are meeting this requirement better than others. For example, some people are dying from the lack of intake of food, so their bodies are slowly withering away. Their needs are not met. Those of us that have our survival taken care of, with...

Believing that I don't deserve the best. Believing that I don't deserve the best opportunity, the best life, the best qualities, the best way of living, the best living situation, the best circumstances, the best dreams/hopes/plans/desire, the best future, the best people/friends surrounding me, the best chances, the best. If I give myself the worst, I receive the worst. If I give myself the best, I receive the best. I create myself, my fate, my consequence, my destiny, with what I give myself. I, Yogan, forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not deserve the best.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not deserve the best  opportunity to succeed in everything I do. I, Yogan, forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself the best life possible, because I felt guilty that others are not living the best life possible. What I give myself, I will make sure that others have al...

2 Incompatible definitions for love. Which one do you choose? I looked up the definition for love in my dictionary. In the Merriam-webster's Collegiate dictionary, there are several definitions for love. When I look at the definitions for love, I see two definitions that I know of very well. They are 1) Strong affection for another, and 2) unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Many definitions in the dictionary or in used in daily life by average people reflect some version of these two definitions. However I notice how in the dictionary there are several versions that speak to option 1, and little to nothing for option 2, which is very similar to daily life. How many people use definition 2? Few or many? And how many use definition 1? Few or Many? So you see perhaps why I am writing this. I am writing this because for me, in my experience, these two definitions are incompatible, because the starting points are different, not the same, for the two defini...

This is about you. (no question mark) What is interesting is that everything is always about you. What you think, what you feel, what you see, your reactions, your movements, is you. Its about you. What you see on tv, the wars, the movies, the starvation, death, murders, stories, animal abuse, rapes, poverty, wealth, inequality,  its always about you. What you see is you. And if you close your eyes, the darkness you see is also you. When you run away, its you. When you hide its you. When you cry or complain its you. When you stand up and stop, its you. When you change its you. So no matter what, this existence is you, and every moment you are yourself.

Ok so when I was coming here to write this post, I was preparing to say how I fear losing someone because of who I am, what I do/did. Now, however, I mean I have faced this point before, so this time I am facing it, it is rather a point of excitement, because I get to see who a person is, in response to who I am and what I did. Will they react? Will they stand? What? And I am excited more because there is a chance, a chance beyond all odds, all chances, that this person will stand. And that chance that possibility, that something real could manifest as a person here in the flesh, is exciting. So its not really an excitement, but really an anticipation to what is to come. You could say I am hoping they stand, because I want everyone to stand, and when they stand I feel like celebrating. And its just something amazing to marvel at for a moment. And it then reminds me of who I am, and my stand, and to see the same standing in another making the same stand as me, is just amazing to see. I...

Who I am I lived a very specific life, like I am sure everyone has lived a very specific life. When I look at my life, my mind automatically compares my life experience to those of others. When I self-honestly check this however, I know, always that everyone is the same, and our life experience is in essence the same. Now, I cannot really know the life another has lived, that is for him/her to know. To share my life experience is a step I must take. I am an innocent being. I have wholeheartedly accepted all of the advice and knowledge that my primary caregiver has given me. She has always been there for me, both my word and action. I naturally trusted her and that trust was rewarded in certain specific ways. So as that trust was rewarded I trusted her more. So that with each new knowledge point I always was more willing to accept it. I did have fears, very specific fears. I did face them directly as a manifestation of myself. I always wanted to find people like me. I wanted to cre...

My Truth. About everyone I have seen in my life, has been lacking in some way or another. For example, there is often fear of something, or perhaps love for someone or something exclusive to the rest. And I know already how anyone, if they were to stop those fears, and love inclusively of all, they could die happy in that moment, and of course they would not want to because they want to live, to express and understand themselves and others and provide the support and presence to everyone, as everyone, as I have said, is lacking in some way or another. So life would take on the definition = to everyone. I think there may have been only one person who may have heard the words I spoke. Im not really sure of the rest.

So Im 23 years old. I did what the average, or maybe not so average, American young person would think to do, go to college. So I did that. I realized its not all that its cracked up to be. Suffice to say, making money with the intent, starting point of making money, which is within my starting point of what is best for all and so best for me, will accumulate money faster than not having this intent/goal/starting point. Money is not just going to fall into my lap. I need to work at generating it. Someone told me that everyone who has money is a salesman. They have to sell themselves or their product. So im going to go at this full out and see what emerges in this coming year 2014. So some ideas I have about money are floating around inside of me, so im going to take them out in SF here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that making money is hard. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that making money won't require a great deal ...

Sorry for taking so long to post guys. Something from TODAY, what? Yes.  Reacting Violently. Sometimes have I have violent reaction within my mind. I imagine/picture me throwing something. Sometimes its my computer. Just now it was the tv remote. In my mind I see the object break apart as it lands on the surface. And I move in one complete movement to throw the object. And I sort of become aware of my body points as if I would be prepared to do this physically/actually. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react violently within my mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine and picture me throwing something, like the tv remote or my computer laptop. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to picture and imagine the object crashing on the floor/wall and breaking into pieces. I   feel angry. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry. I forgive myself for accepting an...

Don't take your thoughts personally i have been taking my thinking personally. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take my thoughts to mean "who I am" as who I am cannot change. Within the principle of what is best for me, I write. I commit myself to write within this principle of what is best for me in this blog. What is best for me, includes establishing a world that is best for all. It includes forgiving myself for accepting and allowing what is less than what is best for me. It includes becoming what is best for me. And what is best for me is to live in a way that is best for everyone including me by practically considering every part, including me, without compromising any part, including me. How I treat myself is how I would treat existence. So by taking care of me and supporting me, I am stating that how I would treat existence would be with the same care and support. So who I am here is a gift, an opportunity to take care of something th...

         I was holding onto the validation from certain people in my life. I was restricting and limiting myself based on what I perceived would be validated by these people. In my mind, I was playing out scenarios, and conversations where what they would say to me would be positive or negative (They were mostly negative). Because I wouldn’t let these people go as attachments, I could not stop this negative thinking. I kept thinking how I didn’t know anything as I did something which I haven’t spoken about with someone else. I couldn’t move me (this is a belief), I didn’t know what to do (this is a belief). And because I wouldn’t let go of my perceptions and beliefs about who they are, and what they think of me, I really couldn’t do anything. So the solution was to let them go within myself. So within that if they were removed from the face of the planet, I would have a reaction. So I stopped that reaction through breathing and bei...

 I fear someone coming up to me and tell me I am evil. I fear losing the people in my life. I fear losing friends. I fear being alone. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the people in my life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that through fearing I could hold onto the people in my life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to through this to justify fear. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being alone. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that by fearing it means I care. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that its ok to act on fear if it means that you can keep certain people in your life. Fear harms me. It is unacceptable because of this. For me, I stop fear.

So for me, I know that the number of blogs I write is unimportant. Well, from another perspective, even just writing out the shit out in my blogs, will help me to see the shit. However, what I am trying to say is that ultimately, what matters is what I write. I can write 1 million things, but if those things are not self-honest. Then it means nothing. However like I said, that even writing out 1 million things that are self-dishonest, will help for when I do ultimately stand up. Because for myself I can see when I am writing shit, and when I am writing honestly. That is why writing, with self-forgiveness, is always a benefit, even when it is self-dishonest. If you think I am supporting self-dishonesty, get a chill pill. Haha. When I write, I don't give a hoot about how I am affecting a person, because I know you are affecting yourself really. I do at times avoid leading to reactions, but I mean, if you have been reading my blog, it is to learn about yourself, so here you can learn ...

The fear and desire of receiving attention on my blog. I feel fear and desire when I write on my blog, because I know or have seen in the past that people read, see, or visit my blog. Within a moment of seeing the statistics of the number of views on my blog posts, I feel excited and energetic. I feel happy, thrilled and enthused to see this. Within the moment of writing on my blog, I feel tired, resistance, fear, stressed, that I just don’t want to do this THOUGHT. I feel like running away and avoiding writing on my blog at all costs . So I stop and I breathe   I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel fear when I write a blog post that will go on my blog, A Behaviorist’s Journey to Life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel desire when I write a blog post that will go on my blog, A Behaviorist’s Journey to Life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to receiving attention from people....