Yogan's Journey to Life

Knowing when to walk away, is something I am learning. Like in a situation where someone is yelling at you, asking you interrogative questions or making accusations, where they are not respectful or considerate of you as a person with worth and value. Just walk away. Say: I will not be disrespected like this. I choose to go, to leave. It's not easy. In such situations in the past, I have felt scared, worried, anxious, and nervous. There is a fear of how the other person will act or respond. Like they could hit you or yell at you more. Though we have to stand up for ourselves and our well being. We have to. Because who else will? We only have ourselves. Living a life where everybody just walks all over you, and you don't call out the bullshit, and you just take the shit, is not a way to live for anybody. We need to have self-respect. I used to think that it taking the shit meant you were strong and being kind to that person. I was wrong. We need to stop the shit when it st...

It seems fitting that since I had written about my dream/desire for the future world, that I write about my dream/desire for a school. I also placing this into words for the first time. In the past I have written about schools, and the experiences that children face based on what I observed of peers during my time as a student, as well as my own experience as a child. I have written also about my perception of sudbury schools. In fact, when I first came across sudbury school material online, I had this experience I felt, but I didn't put it into words. Having worked now at a sudbury school, and being let go from that school, I have to be honest with myself and self-reflect on what I see is needed or missing, especially from this vision I have about what future I want for everyone. Firstly, I do feel hesitant and fearful to say I want a certain future for other people, as if it is wrong or bad or unacceptable to want a certain life for someone. The reasoning is that you can'...

Something I love to think about or remember, is what I want for the world, for myself, for others. I don't know if I have ever really described it into words, even for myself. But I can feel it and see it. So I would like to share it here and put it into words. I want a world where all things are appreciated and supported. Where everything is honored, and given what it needs. Where everyone does their part to ensure this reality. Where every human lives courage, care, regard, honor, love, support, resilience, persistence, righteousness, passion, giving, self-respect, accepting nothing less than the absolute greatness of this life, understanding, gentleness, kindness, sympathy, unwavering, and resoluteness. I want everyone to hold this same vision inside themselves to remind them of it, so that we make it so.

What is best for all Oneness and Equality Self-responsibility Self-forgiveness Self-change Self-acceptance Self-improvement Self-respect No one can touch who self is. Only you have access to yourself. This means wherever you go, whatever you do, in any moment, you have self. Building yourself is the greatest investment. Being aware of yourself, and bringing yourself here is the best thing to do in any moment. To be yourself is the best way to live. By bringing yourself here, you bring the answers to questions here. By bringing yourself here, you bring clarity to here. By bringing yourself here, you purify what is here so that it is best for all. Cleanse yourself, repair yourself, through bringing through what is missing=== yourself. What is self? Self is when you listen to the birds. Self is when you listen. Self is when you breathe. Self is when you move. Self is when you create. Self is when you touch, hear. Self is when you are here. When self...

I like to hear the rain fall. I like being here, to hear what is here. To feel the rain, to feel my body, to feel the ground, earth, grass, or sand. I like to hear the sounds. I like to touch what is here. I like feeling the texture, the consistency, the nature of something. I connect with what is here by being here. I connect with the presence of something. I enjoy the presence of the rain, the birds, the sounds, the furniture. I feel myself, my own body. I enjoy my presence. I enjoy the presence of other people. I enjoy myself observing and seeing. I enjoy listening to the sounds. I enjoy this moment. I am here. I like to make things better. I like to see improvement. I like to see progression. I like to help. I like to make things better. I see everything as an extension of myself. I see myself in everyone. I see myself in everything. I see myself as big as the ocean, and as small as a speck of dust. I see the ocean and dust are one and equal. I see we are all one and equal. I l...

I am terrified of sharing the 100% unadulterated me. Me without any filter. Purely me. I am a rare person. I haven't met someone exactly like me. I have met people that are like the most important part of me. But they are few. They are like me in that they are committed to doing what is best for all for the rest of their lives, even into their after life, and furthermore into infinity. Such people that you see in their words and behavior that stand for every single speck of dust, every single animal, plant, human is rare. I wish it wasn't rare. I wish it was common. I wish that every parent would explain to their child the value in every single thing, the value of every single plant, animal, person, that there isn't anything fear, and there is only things to understand and get to know. These people who are alive who walk among us are walking a process themselves to become fully what is best for all. This fully means in every moment, their mind, and body would be aligned t...

I have observed within myself how the words "I don't know" have been a instrument of disempowerment, of shame, of inferiority, of problem of stress. So, I decide to embrace the self-honesty of not knowing so as to empower myself, and change my relationship to the truth of not knowing. What I see is a vast history within our relationships where those who know are regarded as more valuable. For example knowing the answer to the questions, knowing a subject like math or history, or knowing what you want to do with your life etc... To say, I don't know is like a sin, at least that is how we treat ourselves, and so others. We teach to our children that it is a sin to not know something. This is most well shown within the role of being a teacher, which is not restricted to the paid profession, but includes any or all interaction where one becomes superior within what one knows and speaks from that superiority. A life lesson I have learned is that wherever superiority exis...

I am going to be writing about something that has been haunting me for years. It is my first relationship. It will be about the abuse, the lies, and the deception I faced. It will be about how I didn't call out the abuse, the lies or deception, and how I didn't stand up for myself. It will be about how I will learn, change and be better for me. Writing this out here is how I start to change into being better for me. So, my first relationship was with a girl I met in college. I had spoken with her a few times. We hanged out. She had told me that she had broken up with boyfriend. However, this was a lie. I am someone that would never date someone or do anything with someone who was still with someone else.  After we had our first kiss she had then called to break up with her boyfriend, who was in her home town. I only found this out later when she had went back to her hometown for break and had kissed her ex-boyfriend. She was deciding who she wanted to be with. What I should...

So I was doing some self-investigation today and I realized something. I was looking at human connections, and how I haven't realized that connections between people is something that is out of my control, or at least not completely in my control. Because what I am seeing when I reflect on my past is that I have a grievance in relation to perhaps 100 people, or many many people that I have met and known, where I wish, want, and blame myself for not keeping the relationship here, for it ending or not going further than it had. Though now with having a more discerning eye and self-honesty, I can see how in fact that for all human relationships that the connection you have is temporary. So for example I can see how 2 people meet and have a connection, and that connection will last any amount of time, it can be a second, a day, a week, a month, a year, or more. That initial connection forming is out of the hands of the people. For example, someone can't decide just to have a con...

Watching your pets. Watching them move. Watching them play. Watching them watch you watch them. Watching them experience their own bodies. Watching them preparing to go to bed. Watching the pet, as watching yourself Learning and observing them. Learning and observing yourself.