“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Saturday, November 24, 2012

My current experiences within writing

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 So something to share with everyone,
I have changed writing on self or 'about us', everyone including me within this world which is the reflection of who we are, so I write on these two things I mentioned (they often go hand in hand in my writing) from a point of enjoying seeing myself and uncovering myself and seeing who we/I am. In breath its quite enjoyable from a physical experiential/here perspective where its like that experience where you are here and the you can continue and go as you know this body/you can. I immediately put what I “want” to write, and I “choose” my words sometimes and direct even small points of what I am going to say next, and its enjoyable from the perspective its what I know its me and so im just expressing me, there is nothing wrong or right since its me. So its like im talking to a friend, completely opening myself up to that friend. Its enjoyable.

So one interesting experience that is related is seeing like this energy monster within me, where when slowing myself down in breath, its like im reaching inwards with my awareness and i am accessing this monster, and this monster is very happy to come out and speak/write. So i happily share myself as who i am as this monster. This is what i did recently on the Open Forum (in my thread) and i wrote and wrote on everything this monster had to say (this monster as me). I notice halfway in my writing the direction shifted where another perspective was shared from another source located in my head region, like an intelligent monster, lol. Maybe more calculating. I knew this was me, as i am familiar with my story where is someone where to show me my memories i can point it out to them i recognize this memory its mine! So that makes writing such things even enjoyable as i would before process enjoy looking into my memories of me and my stories. This time im just writing it out for me to be really aware of who i am and see the real characters behind the whole show that is me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear sharing me, who i am, to myself, and not see how enjoyable it can be as a point i can push myself to do and see the awesome result of myself written in front of me and then i walk self-forgiveness with me to align me to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the simplicity in sharing myself, as i am sharing myself, which is really what i know most about! as i have plenty of memories and points if i dare to be honest about them and remember them and bring them here to show myself who i am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and cover up my memories of me and try to pretend i don't remember who i am through energy, through separation of the physical, instead of being honest through being here one and equal with and as the physical in breath.

I commit myself to write myself self-honestly, who i am, on paper for me to face within correction in writing, utilizing self-forgiveness and so taking responsibility for what i have accepted and allowed as myself. 
-Yogan B

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