The Self is the key. You are the key. If you want to make things better, focus on yourself. Do you have a relationship with yourself? Are you able to hold yourself and know yourself? Do you know what you are feeling? Do you know what you are thinking? Are you here with yourself? Do you Know yourself?

Self is the Key. You are the Key. You have the power. You are the power. You need to know the power. You need to know yourself. You need to know who you are right now in this moment in what you are thinking and feeling. And you need to start stopping whatever it is that is not best for you. You need to start stopping that which is harmful to Life.

Be the Self that is Free from all limitation, pain, abuse, destruction, and full of creation, ability, and potential. You start becoming through self-forgiveness.

Would you like to have a relationship with Your self?

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Day-29: Social Psychology: Self-Esteem & Self-Handicapping

So for this Blog post I am going to ask Why do we accept and allow Self-Esteem as a force that directs our decisions, deeds, thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and essentially the world?
            Self-Esteem has been studied in Social Psychology leading to some very interesting observations of some human behavioral phenomena. In a recent Blog, I had mentioned three terms from Social Psychology that are themselves Human behavioral phenomena that are widespread. These terms were Pluralistic ignorance, Bystander Effect, and Conformity. One can imagine how Self-Esteem, a term so abstract and intangible could have a hand in many many Behavioral phenomena and even just everyday behaviors, for instance, Self-handicapping.

            If one do a quick search on the internet for the definition of Self-Handicapping one will find this definition: it is the act of humans to externalize their failures and internalize their successes. First to define this, externalization is simply saying that I was not the one responsible but this thing HERE was responsible. Essentially, participants in this hilarious study had a problem-solving test to do; this test had a difficult version and an easier version. Participants were ALL told the FAKE news they all did extremely well. The participants who had the hard test would have been surprised. Now comes the interesting part, after the test the participants were going to have to take the same kind of test they just took, but first they had to pick between two drugs. One would “help” the participants do better and the other drug would “harm” their performance. The participants who had the difficult exam choose the harming drug more than those who took the easier exam. Keep in mind that the drugs were FAKE too and there was no 2nd exam really. Back to the initial point, so the harming drug would be the externalizing of their future failure on the theoretical 2nd exam. The theory explains that participants want to protect their Self-Esteem. So to protect it one has to sabotage oneself in this case to externalize the cause, “the sabotage”. This is all very strange I admit. Like if the person KNOWS he is the One choosing the Harmful drug, then that is not Externalizing? Well, I guess to put it better, participants sabotage themselves to avoid a point of failure/success occurring outside their expectations of their abilities and so remain within their control and idea of self. They want the excuse, it was the drugs fault or my sabotage, and my failure has nothing to do with my ability, self, who I am.
   So one can see how Self-Esteem is part of a high/low polarity. Also if our self-esteem were not so important to us… well the participants would not take the harming drug or enhancing drug preferentially. I did not mention explicitly before that participants with easier test took the enhancing drug more often too. And so Self-Esteem, is defined within the context, who I am as MY definition of who I am, which apparently disregards/suppresses the negative parts of who You really are (something I can relate to). So honesty is a key to realize who I am. And since Self-Handicapping is studied with no solution placed, humans are not interested in honesty so much. Self-handicapping is measured as far as I can tell on a questionnaire. Not all humans participate in it in the same degree. This would require future research from anyone wanting to know more as my knowledge is limited on this point.
More nxt time

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself a world that accepts and allow handicapping strategies which can be recalled self-sabotage strategies of Self-dishonesty where through externalizing one’s performance, done in self interest, one is hiding the extent of one’s participation in said task/test/situation and what self can really do within said test/task/situation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place importance to Self-Esteem such that I would choose my self-esteem over Life, and self-honesty, which the two are VERY Connected, as life is found/known/lived only with honesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the most seemingly moments to be dishonest as to hide the truth of me and place blame on externalizing parts of me, like my actions that lead to choosing of a self-sabotage, like in my personal case sleeping in bed wayyyyy to long.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how we humans can be honest by living this first with myself until this is really manifested here as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to not see the commonsense that I cannot externalize my actions or events brought about by my actions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value control and familiarity and so mindlessly avoid any information/truth of who I am really, as in the case of finding out I may fail and there is nothing I can do to prevent it and so out of fear choose sabotage, which is what occurs with the mind where we cannot suppress thoughts but must face the points of thoughts and realize there is nothing to fear, as ‘failing’ and ‘thoughts’ are simply here, and arise here, and are not separate from the moment that is here, and to anyway deny what is here, is to deny self and honesty of who self is.
I commit myself to face self in every moment, and all that is in this moment, whether it be failure, a thought, a fear, or anything, within the realization all is me and not separate from me or this moment here, and only I separate me from here, which is the act of stupidity of the century, for this is what we humans have so far done, and look at this world here, and who we are, if you dare.

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