Day 929 Good Person

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be seen as a good person.

As a good person for walking process.

As a good person for how I write myself and present myself

As a good person for following the rules and principles

As a good person for the sacrifices I make, and how I conform.

Doing everything that is supposed to be done.

Pushing for self change so that I can be seen as a good person by others.

Feeling afraid of letting others down, or getting their anger or disappointment, for it is their eyes where I want to be seen as a good person. 

Getting upset and angry when they get angry at me for being a good person. The opposite of what I wanted.

Feeling tired and saying whats the point, I made these changes and now they are changing. 

I give up, on trying. 

A good person is the problem. I would need to be a hardass at times. To tell people off, to tell them they are wrong, they are having issues and problems, they are being abusive. And that doesn't fall in line with being a good person. Its like the democrats, they are concerned with being good, and so won't call out the bullshit of the republicans. 

Being good, is not best for all. Sticking to whatever is best for all, and doing it, being angry at time, being loud, being serious, being funny. Adjusting to what is here. Sticking to principles. Principles of Integrity, self-honesty, commitment. You have to lie to people sometimes for what is best for all. But always being honest with oneself is important. And always doing whatever is needed for your process or another is important. But developing that integrity, communication within a group, to share ones process, to move as a group is vital. And anyone who is pretending to walk process is just a parasite, a loser looking for some personal energy fix. And I feel bad in saying this but its true. And we would need to kick people out. You would do the same in your personal life. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be a good person.

I want to be what is best for all. 

When people would comment on the things I said. Undermined it, dismissed it. I would take it personal. But I don't have to. I will be what is best for all. And that is my goal, aim, and so I don't care if others see me as that or not. I live it. That means giving up this feeling that I am a good person. I am doing things right. 

i want to be seen as a good person. I want that validation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be seen as a good person, and to get that feeling of goodness. To feel good about myself. To like myself because I was good according to another person. 

I am a good person. I am right.

Its like I am looking for that feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for the feeling that I am right. That I am a good person, that what I said was right and good. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when something bad happens in my life, to immediately see it as because I did something bad in my life and this is divine punishment.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to walk process just so I can be a good person.