day57- another day

So apparently, there is a entirely separate system that is responsible for learning to respond automatically, whether you like it or not. In other words, it does not matter if you enjoy it, or are perhaps even aware of the actual physical sensation of something, you could feel an urge or desire or want to do something. This is called addiction or habit, isn't. I notice for many years of my life, especially after first listening to desteni material, how I did not really enjoy anything, that everything was a mind push or pull, which itself felt violent and uncomfortable. Which is why breath is so important to be here. Because here is where you direct, where everything exist, where we really live, and where we can really learn. That is why it is important to stop emotions and feelings, breathe and be here. When I feel anxiety or fear, stop breathe. If I feel a physical pain, be here, breathe, I look at what am I separating myself from here, and then stop the separation, and realign. Within breath I direct, so i direct. Within breath, being here, I can see so I see. I can see dishonesty and honesty. I can live/act. I get to know myself/be intimate with myself.
-going to sleep