“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Meeting someone where they are at

So in life, you will meet all sorts of people. Some will be rare individuals that find the nugget of truth within everything that is shared/spoken. Others will be the more common person that tends to hold onto what is their normal beliefs. The question to ask in any moment is who am I in this moment? Because you have the choice to meet someone, no matter who they are, according to where they are at, and so not according to you, or to your likes, preferences etc... So you do put them first.

What does this mean practically in reality? That you speak to them on their level, within their understanding and their context of life. You do that, and you don't try speaking to them from your level or your level of understanding and the context of your life. People who have only lived a similar life to yours will be able to hear you if you speak only from your context. Thus to expand your influence and the potential audience that can listen and understand you, you must include their lives within your words and actions. This means not only in conversations, but in also what you do. This means adjusting and changing your habits, patterns and actions so that it includes the level of understanding that another person has. For example, they may be someone who dislikes something very much, and even though to you it is perfectly acceptable and you see their dislike being a limitation on their part, that you take into consideration that they won't change, and in a sense, can't change because of who they are and their life circumstance, or for other reasons. So in such situations you change/adjust for them, for their support. Because you do see clearly that they become affected by their strong dislike and your unwillingness to change for them. So yes, you are doing something that they won't do. And that would be because of a responsibility you have because you can and are willing to change, and become that which is best for them and you. 

One example that may be particularly challenging is when you have in the past shown/expressed how what another person is doing is something limiting, and something that if they were to change would better them. However, when you had expressed/shown this, they said with confidence that they didn't need to change, and that they liked how they were. So even in this situations where a person doesn't wish to change, it may be challenging for you to change yourself to support them. In such situations I remind myself that even though they may be expressing themselves and claiming that they have full awareness/understanding regarding what they are doing, that they are not really aware of it, because of what they are missing, which is what you are seeing. So in changing yourself to support them where they are at, you are assisting something that doesn't have the full picture/understanding that you have. And you have to make sure that you don't stand within a position of ego in relation to them, and that you are supporting them. This is something that does come up. And more importantly if you accept and allow the ego as a belief that you are better than them, and that you are "right," they will see that within you and resist you, because ego isn't something right.

So you can only ever have the honor and duty to assist/support another. Its your responsibility to do so, because you CAN, and so you must assist/support, including when you must change how you are to adjust to where they are at.

No comments:

Post a Comment