“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Monday, June 8, 2015

Sharing my Application with Attraction 286

Understanding Attraction

The above video is from the Self & Living Store, and happens to be one of their free interviews on youtube. I wanted to share about my application with the suggestion provided. So attraction is no stranger to me, I have had it for many women over the years, even as earlier as the 1st grade in Elementary School. Since then about every year or so there was always someone that I felt an attraction when thinking about her or seeing her. The fact that there were so many is interesting to see. 

So when I had a look at the word (meaning the word that is what it is I am actually attracted/desiring), especially seeing how it is a word I am not living that I would like to live, what came up was Expression. There were many different reasons why this was the word. So to give some of those perspectives, that with these persons in my past, I believed I could be myself and express me. I would actually express myself such a completely different way with this person than I would with most people, that they would actually be almost kind of shocked to that person and they would say this to me, lol. 

The other perspective is that with each person that I felt attracted to, going back alllllllllllll the way back to the beginning, I saw them as someone that knew how to express themselves. So really that's like already an overwhelming amount of evidence, considering that it is a pattern that each and every person had that I looked at in my memories, even though that all had many many differences in how they were if I were to compare them all. So really when I consider all these women, who in all other aspects were soooo different from one another, Expression is one thing that they all had in common. So that's like quite a clear cross-reference. It's like finding the commonality/pattern within it all.

Just a side note, a more of an observation really, the attraction I felt at a young age, before I had any sexually experiences, was in itself not of a sexual nature at all. That point is quite interesting to see. So I am looking at these girls then that I felt attracted to in elementary school for example, that I felt I just wanted to be in their presence. So it was like an attraction/pulling towards them. I can see clearly that only later on, did attraction develop a more sexual point. Now if I wanted to look at the detail, there were certainly ideas/beliefs that this meant I had a crush on this person, or that they would make a great partner, because of how I felt. I mean I had stories of love at first sight, you know? So there are various factors that came together to create the complexity on a mind level surrounding attraction. Some notable mentions include movies, tv shows, and watching other people form relationships and for what reasons.

So going back to this word Expression, that when I extracted this word I first had to define it for myself. What would it mean for me to live Expression, or what is my definition for me to live? For me it was to share what I saw about a point. So, I went ahead and tested this by seeing myself living it or doing it, similar to how I saw these women express themselves, except it being ME. So what happened? Can you Guess? So immediately, the attractions to these women dissipated. Now I did find another word that did provide a different perspective, but still existing within the word Expression. That was basically to be public with my Expression. So for me, the best avenue for this is my blog and youtube channel. 

Additionally, I had a unexpected but clear cross-reference that the attraction was indeed dissipated in that moment, and it was feeling emotions, which are negative. Within that however, not existing on a feeling/emotional level, I felt like I was completing a part of me by living this expression. So of course I took it into action, to practice, and see myself expressing me. 

Now this isn't my first time working with the mind, and so I know that it is layered, and so there may be more attraction, perhaps even just with different people that may come up in my future, or that exist in my memories/past. At the very least I have this point now of Expression to live and apply. 

So a practice then I will make is that when it comes to attractions, and similar reactions, towards women that I bring the point back to myself and see what is triggering it. It may be what I am working with now, which is expression, and if that it is the case I just realign it back again. But if that isn't the word this time, then I investigate. So that way I bring back my expressions, and myself back to me, and I stand always at a point of deciding who I am in a moment with a person.

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