“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Thursday, June 25, 2015

My story: why I support Living Income Part 2

Previous Parts
 My story: why I support Living Income Part 1

So continuing where we left off. It was during that time that I started searching on the web/internet for topics/words/phrases that I had feeling might lead me to some answers or new realizations. So there I was searching, and so willing to see/read something new, because what had been applying thus far, meditation, and stopping thoughts, wasn't working. And I was really determined you know? Like that is ALL that mattered, which was to change my experience of myself, permanently, not just for some hours, days, or some moments through some methods. I mean because that is what most of us do right? I mean, let's be honest here, that much of what we do in our free time is to make ourselves feel better for a while. Whatever it may be, be it drinking, drugs, gaming, partying, pornography, or whatever. I mean it can even be something that isn't so controversial, but it is still something we do to make ourselves feel better, like exercise, or playing an instrument, listening to music, watching a movie, or hanging out with friends. So I mean this isn't something new or scary. This is how we all live. And I just couldn't live in that perpetual cycle anymore, where you KNOW you are going to feel bad again, when you face those things that trigger those negative emotions within you. So your little hiding place where you feel good, you know that won't last forever. So I am just being practical here, just ready to really face the music, which is all the nasty stuff we feel that makes us feel nasty.

So this was me, ready. Now, in this moment, I came upon something quite be accident, yet who knows. So it was something that was what I was after. Something practical, tangible, about the mind, about how we feel, about the endless cycles of feeling good/bad, where when you feel good, it is in a interconnected relationship to when you feel bad, which is what I had observed in me. I had observed the times where I felt really good in a moment, and how that was related to how I had felt very bad moments before. So here, I was like, THIS IS IT. But within that I was cautious, alright? Because I went through meditation and different teachers/gurus. So I took this new approach, one step at a time. I would only see what makes sense and what doesn't, and just like how I tested and pushed myself within meditation, I would do the exact same here. So I was basically looking for the faults here.

So this is what I did for several years. I took this new approach and I dissected it in order to understand it, and I tested it and applied it. Did it work? Did it do what it said it does? Basically yes. So this here, this answer, is one reason, one primary reason why I changed from someone who meditated, to someone who supported himself to change/grow, and to support Living Income. Because basically, it worked. And as I changed as a person, I started to see new things, new ways, new perspectives. And this included too, how our world works, how our economy works, how our money functions, how everything in interconnected on a structural, societal, political, economic, educational, familial, and every other level, right down to the personal level. I saw how this world is a reflection of my own relationship to myself.

So, looking back, and summarizing what I have lived thus far, you can say I was on the "right" path, meaning that I was seeking to change myself, to understand myself, to become better, and inititally it was within something that only my parents/family gave me, which was this word enlightenment and what they understood it to mean, as well as others. But because I was committed to this point, and I took the steps to change, I eventually came upon a point that did work. And because this world is a reflection of myself, then changing me, is really the first step I had to take.

So one question remains. Why bother with changing the world out there? Why do it? Why spend time, money, effort in changing how things work in the world? For me at least, I knew since early childhood that things had to change drastically. So for me it was self-evident. That is all I can say. The reason why I am focusing now on Living Income, is basically because I was able to give myself the tools and ability to change for real. And so I can become the person that I need to be in order to support in the change that has to happen in the World out there. So if you are like me, someone who sees that change is needed out in the world, then I suggest you do what I did, focus your time and effort on yourself, in understanding how you work, and learning how to change yourself with the same tools I used, as they are proven tools.


My story: why I support Living Income Part 1
My story: why I support Living Income Part 1

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