Yogan's Journey to Life

So if you would have asked me, or if I would have asked myself, what Strength is Last Week.... I would have said/shown like standing up, being rigid, muscular, pushing, tough. But that's not all there is to Strength, and the current definition is not appropriate in certain contexts. So this is what I found, being gentle and embracing what is here, no matter who it is, what they are doing, what they said, what they lived, embrace and accept what is here, doing this.... doing this is the antithesis, the complete opposite to my average response of Strength. In the age of Donald Trump, that definition of Strength of being so masculine, being tough, pushing things through, being rigid, being sharp is clearly shown to be what is is. And that is the natural response for me. SO something that I have been doing unconsciously is breathing in sharply. In seemingly random moments. What I'm seeing here is this, that breathing sharply is me activating this strength, which plays out ...

Separation Anxiety There is someone I am separate from right now and its causing this separation anxiety. A commonly used word to describe this thing. Now, I immediately see it relates to me being a child, getting lost, separate from my mom in particular, and that fear of never seeing my mom again, and somehow being lost forever, whether that's due to being kidnapped, murdered, or dying accidentally while I am lost. I have had that moment as a kid where I am wandering in the supermarket and I try to find my mom, and have that thought and anxiety of never seeing her again, and then my heart starts racing, I start believing it, and I get scared and I start to frantically check all the aisles. Another was a memory at a carnival amusement park. Same thing. So this is something physical. Its in my body. I can feel it sitting here in my body as me as my body. These memories and these reactions are here in my body as me. The emotions, the energies, the experiences are sitting here as m...

Being a Loner, a Lone Wolf, I should be able to be ALONE, not need anyone. I should be able to exist within ANYONE. That is where I should go, develop and be... All of the above is a LIE... Its a lie. The true way of living is the a mix of independence and dependence. Even more so, hold dear and deep to my heart those that bring out the best in me, those who bring me the most joy, the most expression, the most creativity, the most love, the most fun. And hold them to my heart, remember them, call them, talk to them, keep them in my EVERYDAY Life. Even though they are not physically present. I can't hold them or hug them. They are very far away. But they are more real to me, and bring out the best in me. No fact can change that fact. Except me. Just me that can take that away. Just me that won't fight for it. And I have to fight for it. Its not automatic or natural. But if I fight for it, I get it, and it is better than anything. It is real. I have to fight b...

The value of a Friend. The value of someone who sees into the same depths as you, that very few can. The depths of this reality The depths of the Self. The depths of all the selves The depths of all life The depth of what it means to be alive The depth of what it means to really live. The power of the self The beauty of the self The creativity of the self The potential of the self The potential of all life The specificity of all of this, in written and spoken word, shared and lived in the moment, in the physical flesh, here to be heard with your own ears spoken from the lips of a body. Real. Here. Not a memory, not an image, not a past... here and real. There are many levels and variation of Friendship... but this kind of friendship is most special, most important. It is a friendship bound by this process, by the very Life itself, the very physical itself, with the understanding and manifestation of LIFE here in the flesh. In full awareness, in t...

Judging myself for doing what's best for myself. Judging myself as bad, not good. Feeling stressed about it. I'm in a possession, so just going to do self-forgiveness unconditionally to start. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a bad for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel stressed about doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel burdened by doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and beLIEve that I am not allowed to do what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist doing what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel drained of...

I was considering titling this Desteni, the most positive message that exists... The thing is that Desteni won't always exist. Desteni is  group of people with a purpose. And the message of Desteni is aligned with the heart/spirit of existence of life itself. This heart of life goes beyond anything you can conceive of or think about. It doesn't belong to anyone alone. It isn't contained within just the Desteni group. Desteni is the vehicle in which this message can come into creation, be aligned with the beings of this physical reality. And this heart of life, the very nature and essence of life, more beautiful and more perfect than anything, yet its found everywhere, embedded everywhere, yet not being lived by the beings. Life is not bound by the polarity of good and evil, right and wrong. It is not positive or negative. One way to put it is that the heart, spirit or essence of life is beyond the definitions of positivity currently lived in this world. Too many...