Are you walking process to make friends, or are you walking it for yourself? Big DIFFERENCE!!!!!! day 162

So Im interrupting my blog series for THIS. VERY IMPORTANT POINT.

Am I walking process for me?

When I ask myself whether I compare doing things FOR ME, VS. Doing this FOR ANY thing else.
I self-honestly choose Me.

Do I help this person FOR ME, or for them?
FOR ME.

Do I wake up FOR ME, or to save the world?
FOR ME.

Whatever I place in this spot: Do I do THIS for me, or ________?
FOR ME always WINS.

But am I LIVING THIS?
NOoooooooooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOooooooooOOOOOoooooooo

I notice how even just 5 minutes ago, how i was doing something FOR SOMEONE ELSE, for the purpose of BEING THEIR FRIEND, which is COMPLETELY self-dishonest.

AND IT WAS AUTOMATIC.

I had to literally slam my hand on the table and yell NOOOO!!!!
So I literally had to take action to stop myself in the moment in Acting that way, and ALIGN myself to doing this FOR ME.

In addition, I had also seen something that would be done FOR ME, but I was HESITANT, I DID NOT ACT IMMEDIATELY. And so it WASn't automatic. But I KEPT looking at the Point. THIS IS FOR ME, and I WAS sitting there looking at the situation, I said to MYSELF, within myself, this is FOR ME, acting this way would be ACTING FOR ME. I Just couldn't take it because I couldn't ALLOW the situation to continue like it was. SO I just went for it. I had to push, and DRAW OUT the words. I had to FORCE and PUSH PAST the, FOR THEM REASONS. 

It is interesting that there is nothing in the mind that is done FOR YOU. It is always done for EVERYTHING ELSE THAT EXISTS, women, cars, friends, houses, money, ideas, beliefs, power, enlightenment, grace, intelligence, etc... BUT NEVER is it for you, (for me).


CAN YOU NAME ONE THING YOU DID FOR YOU?

I grew up doing everything FOR GOD. I did well in school etc... but it was like this resistance, because its A LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whenever you do something NOT FOR YOU, its a lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

When I start doing things for me its like a freedom, because nothing can touch me unless I allow it too. So people can say anything to me, the animals and plants can do anything to me, because it doesn't matter, everything I do is for me, not for them. So people can't guilt me anymore, people can't scare me anymore, people can't give me anything anymore, I have everything I need, which is myself. That's an absolute point in process, DOING EVERYTHING FOR YOU (For me). Breathe for you, eat for you, shit for you, study for you, work for you, dance for you, laugh for you, write for you, etc... And what is interesting is that within this I AM WRITING FOR EVERYONE.

WHY? HOW?

Because this is for me, its a present for me, I WANT YOU ALL TO CHANGE, to DO THINGS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT FOR ME BUT FOR YOU. Which WHY AM I DOING THIS???

ITS FOR ME!!!!

Because its what I want, how I want the world to be, exactly. WHICH IS DONE FOR ME, not for you, or gifts or praises, or energy, or laughs, or pats on the back or anything thing but the THING ITSELF, and ME.


So if you drew a circle, the center of the circle would be me, and doing things for me would be the starting point of EVERYTHING I DO. On a practical realm, I need to face EVERY SINGLE tendency, automatic movements, learned habits, that ACT by themselves, and ALIGN the ACTION and the REASON, for doing things to..... ME!


ME ME ME ME ME ME. Wonderful isn't it? AND the ONLY REASON YOU WOULD LISTEN WOULD BE FOR YOU!!!!! AHAHAH!

IF YOU YOU DON"T LISTEN, You care about something else more than you!!!!!
SAD, Right?

What's more important the world or you?

HAHAHA. THIS IS A TRICK!!!!! THE IDEAS OF CHARITY, OF SAVING THE WORLD are tricks, are DECEPTIONS!!!!!

Every religion, and every morality TRIES TO MAKE ANYTHING, EVERYTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU.

EVEN YOUR OWN GOD DAMN HAPPINESS, IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU!!!!!!!

How sick is that?!!!

That how you feel, your happiness, or sadness, is MORE IMPORTANT THAT YOU!!!!!!
That totality of YOU!!!!!

So its all a deception, the reasons that humans live, have all been lies. FOR GOD, FOR "ME", which translates to "how I feel," FOR SEX, FOR DRUGS, FOR PARTIES, FOR FRIENDS, FOR HONOR, FOR LAUGHS, FOR A GOOD TIME, FOR SAVING THE WORLD, FOR FREEDOM, FOR BLAh, BLAh, BLAh, BLAh.

IF YOU DID THINGS ABSOLUTELY FOR YOU, FOR THE REAL ME, THE TOTALITY OF YOURSELF, HOW WOULD YOU CHANGE?

YOU WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE MOST AMAZING PERSON WOULDN"T YOU?

YOU WOULD CARE ABOUT WHAT"S HAPPENING TO YOU, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

IS''NT THAT WHAT EVERY PARENT WOULD WISH FOR THEIR CHILD???

IRONIC IS''NT IT?!

SO I was walking this process to make friends. THIS HAS TO STOP. NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME. TO LIVE FOR SOMEONE ELSE, is a LIEEEEEEE.

To clarify things, when you care for someone else, like physically care, wash your dog, feed your baby, etc... you do it from the starting point of YOU, SELF, WHO YOU ARE. You feed your dog FOR YOU, you feed your baby FOR YOU. BECAUSE YOU RECOGNIZE THIS WORLD, CONSEQUENCE, THE FUTURE, and you create it as such, FOR YOU. Create the world FOR YOU (for me).

DO YOU WANT THAT BABY OR DOG IN YOUR LIFE? THAN YOU BETTER FEED IT!!!!!!!
AHhaha.

ANother interesting dimension within all of this is how when you do things FOR YOU. You ARE recognizing the equal value of LIFE in EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!
BECAUSE YOU RECOGNIZE EVERYTHING ELSE IS A SELF.

THAT YOU DO THINGS FOR YOU, and YOU SEE THE BENEFIT THEREOF, and YOU WISH AUTOMATICALLY THAT EVERYTHING ELSE HAS THE SAME BENEFIT.

YOU EXPERIENCE THE LIFT OF THE YEARS OF LIES THAT HAVE BE COMPOUNDED.
You begin to see that life can be pleasant, free of pain and suffering, and your vision on physical pain and suffering changes, that they are insignificant to this LIE you have been carrying around. LIVING IN A LIE IS THE WORST THING A PERSON CAN DO TO THEMSELVES.

CHOPPING OFF YOUR ARM WOULD BE BETTER THAN LIVING IN A LIE.

THANKFULLY YOU DON"T HAVE TO DO SUCH A THING.

JUST STOP LIVING THE LIE.

EVERY MOMENT YOU STOP, and EVERY MOMENT YOU ALIGN your actions and REASONS, to YOU (for me), the closer you get to.....  Well, that.

Just do it for godsakes!!! This isn't a popularity contest.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in the lie of doing things FOR making friends, instead of FOR ME.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do anything that is not aligned to doing it FOR ME.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop myself when I DO THINGS FOR something Other than Myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  myself TO not align EVERY THING I DO, to doing it FOR ME, and STOPPING AND CHANGING WHAT I DO TO REFLECT ALWAYS, DOING, LIVING, FOR ME.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for god.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for love
 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for being a good person
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for PEOPLE I KNOW
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for my dogs
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for my teachers
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for girls I had crushes on
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for girls/ women in general
 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for guys/ men in general
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for everyone
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for people
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things for any one, or things, or concrete thing, or abstract concept, OTHER THAN MYSELF.

 When and as I SEE Myself- doing something for a reason other than myself, or not doing something that would be from the reason of FOR myself- I stop and I breathe- I realize that, for me, I need to live for me, and that to live for anything else, is a waste of my time, which is limited on this Earth - I realize that the things I believe I would receive from other people and things for living for them, is a lie as well, and are also meaningless, as all meaning is found in  ME, not in things that I can "receive" - I realize I am the most valuable thing in the universe, and that Self is the same gift that each thing in the universe can GIVE itself- I realize that there is nothing else more that I need other than myself.

I commit myself to in real time, stop participating in my habits that are acting from the reasons that are in my mind that is for things other than me, and to realign my actions to living/doing things for me.

I commit myself to walk my process until I am walking 100% FOR ME.

Like, OMG!