Yogan's Journey to Life

When I was in the first year of highschool, towards the end, my mom had visited an astrologer to see about what would be best for me. She went on some day magical, like 5/5/05 which both her and I took as a sign of the value of the following, that I should change schools to a Jesuit College Preparatory school. When I heard the news, I thought it was like divine plan. I felt sad inside because there was this girl I liked and known for a couple years that went to the school I was in. I had however in my desperato fashion, saw leaving as good and necessary and I made a positive or unemotional façade about leaving. Her and I had not been talking in a while, and all of a sudden in our English class she hugged me while we were standing. I did not hugged her back thinking to myself I can’t hug her or I would cry. I very much lived in a life of emotions. I never wanted to appear or look emotional so is my pattern of mind. I wanted to be courageous, not fearful, ever. I ...

--> I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can escape consequence and escape the mind through a process of separating myself from the physical reality WITHIN my mind through simply accepting and allowing the mind completely as my God or Master, where I completely rely on the mind and allow every single thought as the accepted truth of me, not realizing I am accepting and allowing it, I can stop, and that I have not in fact lived or expanded myself but have reduced myself to a box within a compartment in the mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing thoughts because of the belief they are practical and support what is best for all, as obviously I am not being supported by thoughts, I am forgetting me, I am making the ultimate sacrifice in disregarding me. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I cannot direct and ensure the manifestation of what is best for all if I take a backseat in the mind and si...

-->  So something to share with everyone, I have changed writing on self or 'about us', everyone including me within this world which is the reflection of who we are, so I write on these two things I mentioned (they often go hand in hand in my writing) from a point of enjoying seeing myself and uncovering myself and seeing who we/I am. In breath its quite enjoyable from a physical experiential/here perspective where its like that experience where you are here and the you can continue and go as you know this body/you can. I immediately put what I “want” to write, and I “choose” my words sometimes and direct even small points of what I am going to say next, and its enjoyable from the perspective its what I know its me and so im just expressing me, there is nothing wrong or right since its me. So its like im talking to a friend, completely opening myself up to that friend. Its enjoyable. So one interesting experience that is related is seeing like this energy monst...

 I explore various dimensions within the pokemon theme song, that are layered within myself. “I gotta be the very best, that no one ever was, to catch them will be my real test, to train them will be my cause, I will battle across the land, searching far and wide, pokemon to win the FIGHT! Its always been my dream. I know its my destiny, you’re my best friend in a world we must defend, gotta catch them all." So this shows something cool & revealing about me. I would watch the pokemon show as a kid and I remember always feeling very emotional when hearing the song. So I was sitting here reading HJTL and the theme song came up. I within looking at the theme song see several themes about me. “I gotta be the very best” -this describes my desire to be the best and my motivation which is essentially a character. “that no one ever was” -This reveals to me how I don’t want anyone else to be as good as me. “to catch them will be my real test, to trai...

I will in posts to come walk various characters. Right now (which is related to the characters i am focusing on, isn't it all related? um yes lol) im gonna see how love is missing from the equation of those with intelligence. SO. Love. Right, WRONG? What we as humans tend to miss is the physical. That sums up the tragedy of the human. A tragedy in Greek Theater.        So answer me, would not love dictate you feed everyone. I mean we see people do this, and we then take their f-in actions and glorify them, deify them as if they ARE MORE. So we don't have to give an F about ourselves really doing our part. Now that would entail ENDING Starvation. That's right i said it. END STARVATION.        End starvation would be the first act of love that would have ever existed on this planet or this existence for that matter. No the creation of the human was not an act of love, no having sex is not an act of love. Buying your Girlfriend chocolates is no...

--> Mwuhahaha Looking over my behavior this past months, I see I have been correcting my behavior to be what is best for all, through my memories and beliefs that were existent within me. I was not here in real-time, I was essentially a memory. So I patterned and placed my behaviors as programs to be lived. I justified behaviors based on certain reasons that came up within the moment. Since I was not here, I was simply an outflow of my thoughts on what I should do, instead of equalizing myself here as the physical and start from a one and equal starting point with existence and this physical body. I recall words that would pop in my mind as I wrote as if memories of what I have decided was good to say. I have in my history before Desteni been collecting thoughts, and points of knowledge and beautiful and wise sayings or points to tell people. I would then speak them out of memory. I did not start from a one and equal starting point to investigate the messages but trusted them ...

--> So one prevalent point I have, especially on the weekends, is sleeping in. I am writing this in response to the forum thread, Only 4 -6 hours of Sleep Required? . So sleep and I have had an interesting history. I remember if there was like an emergency or great need to wake up like to head to the airport, I was able to wake like in a second though in a slight daze. I also used to before going to bed I would say I would sleep until a certain time in the morning and I would wake then. Thought of waking in morning, lol. The Heaven = Hell             So now in my current situation, I am a student studying who needs to be in charge of his study(and so sleep too!). I am writing separately a point on scheduling which will assist me in my setting my sleep pattern. So im going to just as a support see what excuses or reasons I have to go to bed early or to sleep in. Then I will establish a new pattern of sleep. ...

--> I wrote this as part of a Journal for my Social Psychology Class, check it out.  Also I realize this may read boring and academic, which it is... Looking at the readings since the last journal, I see the following days having something in common that is very important for me, the earth and our situation. So to start I will speak about each and especially the points that are most relevant. Group Processes I: Social Loafing & Social Facilitation             Social loafing is when you take advantage of another person. More specifically in a study we read by Hart et. al. the participants who social loafed where in the position to do so (their team mate was motivated) and the subject was not self-motivated to complete the task, operationalized as achievement motivation defined as a tendency of an individual to work toward the achievement of personal goals or standards. Group Processes II: Social Dilemm...

 So im going to look at a small point, the thought that, when hearing that only a few prosper from the system we have, the Immediate Reaction that We Have of Thinking, No, wait the majority of Humans are Happy, the majority are well, and are taken care of, isn’t this so?                 So this statement for me is a difficult point to face as I  can imagine all the points people can bring up, which are existent within me obviously otherwise I would not have them. People may say, but where we are now is soooooo much better than 100 years ago. People live longer, they use to die at a younger age. We have technology, cell phones, and medicine and even a public education system where anyone can get educated now, so there are no excuses for suffering. These statements I just wrote out shows the general ignorance and denial that many Americans live in and I bet Europeans too. Looking at history, wh...

--> PAVLOVIAN OR CLASSICAL CONDITIONING Is in a previous blog I opened up and explained the basic point of Operant Conditioning as used and defined in Behavioral Science. Another equally important Behavioral Phenomenon is Pavlovian or Classical Conditioning. This is what I would call the very most basic way to acquire a relationship, using the history of past relationships to respond differentially to the environment. SO what do I mean? What separates Pavlovian Conditioning from Operant Conditioning (at least in one important way) is that the behavior is more restricted to one automatic/reactive response in Pavlovian Conditioning. In Operant Conditioning you are “free” to be as creative as you want to achieve the Contingency of the Reward or to avoid the Punishment (see previous blog entitled for further explanation). Classical Conditioning requires some Innate or alternatively previously learned behavioral response to be effective at creating the NEW conditioned Respon...