“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

I am a great video game player. What does this tell me? 297




So I saw something really fascinating, and this will make for a really great blog post. So I was playing a game just now, and it was online competitive game, meaning that we had two teams, and I was playing with one team, and in this last game we won. Now when I played I had to be very in the moment, especially due to the structure of the game. A single mistake can be extremely costly. So my play style in this game was a rather unique position, and was one of the major reasons, and perhaps the key point that allowed us to win this particular game. I played very well, and made very few mistakes. Within that game I had to take some major risks, but they were calculated and I minimized the riskiness of the risk, if that makes sense. So I took the best route, and I saw it being the one that the team needed, for us to win. It is interesting because you can say the moment was very intense, and I can remember clearly the moment when I was taking the major risk, and how I was very focused, positioning myself very carefully, and knowing that there is a chance that in any moment things could go not according to plan, and so I may need to respond very quickly. And too, I didn't know exactly what was going to happen and what I was going to see/uncover and depending on that, I too may need to act/respond quickly. Luckily, though my path was one that offered me the most protection, and there were support from my teammates that saw my move and so also joined in, and the result was a success.

So I could obviously go into great detail, but I figure that would be too much and perhaps too boring for some. But after the game, when I saw my victory and how well I did, you know, I saw the principle of why I won in this game, which was how my position was one of speed, which strategically it has been used for ages to gain advantage. So I was seeing in the moment how I am someone that uses strategy and doesn't just blindly go into the game. Instead I have a plan, and I work on the big picture. This meant that I was in the game checking out both teams movements, and I was placing myself to be in the most beneficial position for our team, dependent on what the movements were and what was needed. So within looking at how I am so strategic, I figure I can do the same with the rest of my life, so within work and what I am going to do in the world out there. So I went ahead in that moment, which was just moments before I started writing this blog on writing out such a plan and strategy for my life. Now here is where things got REALLY interesting.

So I faced many thoughts and resistances and points coming up when writing my plan. So I was stopping these points and pushing forward, but I was really curious and asking why is this? Where is this coming from? And that is where I observed this really cool point. How within the words I was writing, I was accessing memories of information from my environment and the world out there that has challenged me, informed me, and so provided/push programs on me. And this is when adults interacted with me, told me what to DO, what they THINK what they BELIEVE. So that is like everyday life in the world out THERE. But do you know what is interesting? When I am playing a game, who is telling me what to DO, THINK or BELIEVE........ no one.

Hahahaha, so this is really cool. Because who I am alone, in facing a challenge, I succeed, and flourish, and so this is the real me. It's just what information/knowledge/memories/emotions/feelings/thoughts that I have accepted and allowed when I am in the world out there, which is programmed on a word level too. Because see what I saw. I was literally only on my computer typing when I was making this strategy about what to do in the world. There was no one around, BUT I had all of these points coming up. The only point I was participating in was in using words and writing out what I would like to do. So within the words I wrote, memories and information where being brought up about all the times various people in the world told me what to DO, SAY, THINK or BELIEVE, and so I was reacting to that and with that. And I can see how within video games, that there have been times and moments where reactions from the outside world tried to penetrate this point, but overall I stood there, and I did face reactions but I didn't let it define me, I found a way.

A reason why I was this way in video games, one reason at least, which I see as a major reason, was that I was alone in it. When I played, I would play alone. There was no one on my shoulder telling me what they think or what to do. And I even remember times when that happened, and how I would get angry/annoyed at the person in various circumstances. So knowing that this is who I am alone, I know that this is me. There is no outside force or influence, I am just here alone. And I really like myself when I am like this, who I am alone.

So with this awareness about who I am, and my potential, I see then the point is obviously to flourish this potential and create it within the world out there. Because I would like to be myself always, and so always like being myself, who I am in this moment. So this requires primarily that I stop all outside influence, which is defined within my inner reality. It is within my memories/thoughts/emotions/feeling/backchats and various levels of the mind that this outside information that was received from outside of me and developed by my mind, that is what I have to stop. What once was a moment long ago, I now carry within me. And like I have seen it is programmed in the very level of my words as well. And so I basically need to walk the point of living who I am, my potential, while stopping this outside/inner/not-me influence. Because this isn't me.

So in now reflecting on this point, I see how much power, influence and interconnectedness (in a bad way) we all have within what we advise or tell another in what to SAY, THINK, BELIEVE, or DO. Wherein what we have been doing since the beginning of time is really ruining each other, because within these points that I accepted allowed within me, my mind, these are the exact same points that I would often speak/advise to others. So I would be constantly passing on this same abusive point that others share to me, to others. So that is how we are all interconnected through our minds and words.

But within this point of interconnectedness, we can reconnect to that part of who we really are, which can be found in such moments where we are really alone, and live that as our correction, where we pass on to each other this lesson, as our living. Where we are the living example, and that information is seen in the moment by others and they carry that lesson and in turn live it themselves, so from there creating a new interconnectedness, that will replace the old one. And that is done simply by standing by yourself and living YOURSELF in the world out there. The first would be obviously to firstly get to know this who you are, as the real who you are, which for me a part of it at least is found when I am playing video games alone. There may be more parts, and probably more parts. And to live each part takes awareness and time in the world out there. It won't be instant, and it won't be outside of your direction. It can be and only will be done through your direction, movement and decisions in the moment.

So as for me, my plan is to live these parts of me that I live within video games, and walk that into the world out there. Within that I will face resistance and my job is to walk through that resistance and continue directing me. Because who I am within video games is complex, meaning that there are so many parts of me that live, and all of those parts come together depending on what the moment calls for. So it will really be an intimate, deep, familiar, living that I will be applying in the world out there, and so it will be extremely obvious, like not even a chance of mistaking the point, that when I am me and when I am not me. So this too speaks volumes on the importance of encouraging others, and seeing within yourself, who you are when you are alone. Because there are many people who play video games, especially children. And one reason why they may do so, may be to be alone. Luckily for me, my parents allowed us the space to play video games. They would often complain and resist it, but they would never downright stop us. They gave us that freedom. And right now in the world out there, the word alone is negatively charged. When people use the word alone, they believe that it is bad to be alone. So this shows how important it is to protect people, especially children, from this lie, which like the rest of the information/thoughts/memories points that are in the mind, that they are not YOU/ME, that they are the points that keep you from yourself. This is the lie that will have us run into relationships for example, believing that we will find ourselves there. Because I had for the most of my life, judge my video game playing as bad, and would be a point I would have to give up if I had a relationship or started working. So I was really fucked up in the head, through all the information fed to me from the world out there. So this is a really serious point that we can correct firstly in ourselves. To find and support who we really are, instead of stifling and suppressing it.

So one practical point the reader can apply is whether you have any reactions to being alone, to activities that are individual activities, like video games, and whether you judge any of those activities, and so you can investigate any reactions to playing video games, or being alone, or people who are alone etc... For support in investigating such reactions, visit the Desteni forum. http://forum.desteni.org/

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