“…simply make things better for someone else, as if I were to be born again, and that someone else, and it doesn't have to be me, but it could be someone like me, that they would have a better life than I had, that everyone was better. There is something seriously wrong with everyone, and that is something I observed when I was very young. We are the problem, and we need to become better, because we are fucking everything up.”
“So this is who I am. There is something seriously wrong with everyone and we need to fix it, if not for us, then for the future generations."
"Everything I have done in this life, and everything I will do, is for this purpose.”

Friday, April 24, 2015

I have been fighting my fears 264

So today I looked the Anxiety Energy, and I found the design to composed of Aggression as a response to the Anxiety Energy, and to be directed towards the trigger for the Anxiety Energy. The Anxiety Energy is distinct from the Nervous Energy, which I wrote about yesterday http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/04/i-have-been-living-to-meet-others.html What triggers my Anxiety Energy is something I fear, like something that could happen or might happen. If I am not allowed to enter into Aggression, my other response is Depression. Aggression is like a rising up of the Anxiety Energy, focusing primarily on my arms, chest and head region. Depression is a movement of the Anxiety Energy, down. This is my self-forgiveness and what I realized, and so my commitment:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight physically and with aggression towards people who had spoke or shared something with me that frightened me.
When and as I see myself feeling Anxiety Energy – I stop and I breathe- I hold my body close to me, and I calm myself down- I realize that fighting and aggression is not the way for me to face what I fear- I realize that I must be humble and accept that I am the one that is afraid, and that my fears don’t exist outside of what I am feeling.
I commit myself to hold myself, stabilize me.

Why did I write the above? In case it wasn't apparent, I want to make it clear that I am the one feeling the fear, and so feeding the fear, and the fear doesn't exist outside of me. So can I physically harm a fear? No. Does become physically aggressive towards something I feel, change it any way? Only that it feeds it even more. So aggression is a really stupid response to my feelings and experiences, especially fear. Becoming aggressive also makes the statement that the fear is doing something to me, and so is to blame, and something that is happening to me, and not something I am accepting and allowing. This lie would be only ensuring the continuation of the Anxiety Energy. This is why I commit myself to hold myself when the Anxiety Energy is here, so that I do not react to it any longer. 

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